[00:00:00] Alright, let's hit this theme and get this fuckin' rollin'. Rollin'. As Mr. Durst would say, keep on rollin', baby.

[00:00:26] Welcome to Retro Rehab, the greatest collaboration of all time. I'm Jerry from Super Ghost. I'm Aaron from- Oh, shit. Whoops. I'm Aaron from SuperPod, I think. Yeah, you are. Yeah. We'll iron out the kinks as we go. I mean, this is the first one. We did record this- No kink shaming. Leave him.

[00:00:49] At the time of this recording, this is September 22nd, 2001. So, it's been a- You know, we have time to iron this out. So, if you haven't already, check out the teaser. It kind of sets up what this show is.

[00:01:11] But if you didn't already, you know, why don't we give you a taste? So, today on Retro Rehab, which, by the way, is a podcast that goes over everything modern retro, old retro, just retro in general, with, like, some lighthearted takes.

[00:01:30] We're gonna go over curated lists and hidden gems, all kinds of cool stuff. But before we get into our topic, there's a little bit of news from the future, I hear. In 2024, it sounds like Billy Mitchell is still a goddamn douchebag. I mean, he has to be with that fucking stupid haircut. Rockin' that piece of shit.

[00:01:59] You know who he looks like? He looks like the fucking, the little guy from Game of Thrones, but, like- Peter Dinklage? Yes! Well, I'm gonna put all the side-by-side real fast. Peter Dinklage. Oh, fuck, he does. He's like- I told you! He's like Peter Dinklage, but in 16x9 aspect. Jesus Christ, I see it.

[00:02:32] So, anyways, he was, if you didn't know, he was banned from Twin Galaxies, which, I guess, they have, like, I think they're the ones that have, like, all the records and stuff for, like, the high scores for, like, old games and, like, all the world records and shit. He was banned from there because there was evidence brought to light a few years back that, like, he was using MAME for that Donkey Kong score that he got.

[00:02:58] But, as of recently, his scores have been reinstated. But, who cares? Fuckin' honestly, dude. According to Wikipedia, though, his family owns a bunch of restaurants, and he sells Ricky's World Famous Hot Sauce. So, that's cool. I mean, I don't care about his high scores, but Hot Sauce is fuckin' cool. I bet his Hot Sauce sucks. I bet it sucks. That the fuck? I bet it fucking does, too.

[00:03:29] It's, he's, it's an emulated Hot Sauce. Cause that's what he knows best. Just using emulators. Hey-oh, I just scrolled over a, uh, something about Otumwa, Iowa. Hey, that's close to me, baby. No way. You should, you should go there. You could be the reporter in the field. I'm live with. I, I only want to see footage, though, if it's like, like, I want you to take a fan and hold it so your hair's blowing in the wind.

[00:03:57] Like, it's like hurricane, and you're, you're there live on location reporting. But I want it to look really dramatic. It's an hour and 13 minutes away from me. It's probably three days away from me. Fuck. We can, we can meet up. We can, we can. I'll be there with, with, uh, Billy Bitchel or whatever his name is. Be like, Billy, Billy, I have it on record that you got perfect high scores and then cheated. But, I mean, whatever, I don't fucking care.

[00:04:26] And I just drop the mic and walk away and get some ice cream or something. Some ice cream. Oh, shit. And that's the kind of news that you can look forward to here on Retro Rehab. That's, that's the kind of shit. That's what we're all about. Making fun of people like Billy Mitchell. You know, uh, if some cool new stuff comes out, like, uh, say if they make a new analog pocket edition and they sell it for way too much money. Those are pretty cool. I mean, I, I do want an analog pocket.

[00:04:56] I do. I want that fucking glow in the dark one. That glow in the dark one haunts my dreams. I seen somebody had one of those listed, um, on marketplace. I was looking at them today and they were selling them for way too much money. Damn. And it wasn't, it wasn't, yeah, it wasn't even taken out of the package or anything. Cause they know like it's a limited edition. Yeah. I know. Scalpers. I know. Fucking scalpers.

[00:05:26] Um, scalp me for an analog pocket. Sorry. Continue. Fool me once. Uh, all right. Well, Aaron, what is the topic today on episode one of retro rehab? On episode one, we're going to talk about our three favorite consoles ever period. Uh, at least, at least three. Uh, it was really fucking tough.

[00:05:55] The first, my first two were like easy as pie. In fact, they're, they're two that we have, uh, two that we have in common, but my third one, I fucking, it took, I couldn't think, couldn't decide. I was like that too. Yeah. My, my, the first one for me came to me like that. Like, it was like, oh yeah, this is a no brainer. It has to be this. And then the second one was like, yeah, I'm pretty sure it's this. The third one though. I was like, oh, there's so many, there's so many consoles. I know.

[00:06:23] I love all kinds of different games, but like three. I'm trying to pick it. I'm thinking like fucking Aaron made us pick three. Jesus Christ. I know. If we could, three is a good. Yeah. If we did five, we'd be here all punk at night. Oh yeah. That way it would. Yeah. Well, let's say that for another time. Yeah. All right. The, the other three, the other three.

[00:06:51] Uh, well, uh, let's kick this off. So, uh, I guess we could probably list, uh, we'll go back and forth, I guess. It's probably the best way to do it. Um, like console for console and kind of talk about, cause like we do have, we have some overlap for our consoles, a lot of overlap. And even with the games, which is great. Um, and see, this is, this is why we're meant to be. I know. I know.

[00:07:20] That's why. Thank you. Christian mingle. Yeah. It wasn't Odin. It wasn't, uh, it wasn't like the retro game gods. It was Christian mingle. Do you think, do you think they have like, like a pagan, uh, Christian mingle, like, like pagan mingle, like pagan, uh, I don't know. That'd be cool. I bet there is. Dating website. I bet there is. That'd be fucking sweet. Maybe we should, you know, maybe we should. That's our million dollar idea.

[00:07:51] Yep. Yep. Yep. Fuck podcast. Let's start this fucking. Dear shark. Pagan mingle. Shark. Yeah. That's the thing. We don't, we don't do shark. Cool. We got, we got dragons down. That's still pretty fucking cool. Is it like the same people? No, it couldn't be the same. Yeah. There's, there's some overlap there. I think there's a, I think there might be like one or two people that overlap, but

[00:08:20] that's pretty, that's pretty fucking sweet. Okay. Okay. At least they kept a cool name. We'll pitch it to both. You can come to Canada. We'll pitch it to dragons. Dan. I'll come down to the States. We'll pitch it to shark tank and then we'll get turned down and be, very sad. And then we'll just come crawling back to podcasts. We'll come cruising back at our beat down. Dodge neon with one mismatched door. It'll be like, well, we got rejected.

[00:08:49] And the mirrors duct taped. Mark Cuban says he hates my haircut. But we're podcasting again. Fuck you guys. We're podcasters. Okay. Holy shit. We're going to be famous one day. All right. Well, let me kick it off. Shall we? My first pick, which was instant. I mean, instant was the super Nintendo. Like it was a no brainer.

[00:09:19] It was my first actual console. I mean, my first video game thing that I ever owned was a game boy. Like the actual like old, the brick. Yeah. The brick game boy. That was, that was the first one. But the first console I ever got was super Nintendo. And it was funny because I used to go to my friend's house across the street and he had a, he had a Nintendo like regular Nintendo. Nintendo. And I also side note.

[00:09:47] I don't, I don't know about you, but I always refer to it as regular Nintendo. Yeah. It's the regular ass Nintendo. It's not super. It's regular. It's no name brand. Basic bitch Nintendo. Yeah. So I remember going over to his house and he, he had the NES. And I remember like telling my parents, like, I, I really want a Nintendo for my birthday this year. And they were like, yeah, we'll see.

[00:10:14] And for sure, like they, they definitely went to like, like a department store and they were like, Hey, we want to get our son a Nintendo. And they were like, Oh, well this is what you want. And gave them a super Nintendo because I wasn't familiar with this. I thought I was not getting the thing I wanted. So I see super Nintendo and I'm like, this is not the thing I ordered. This is not what I want. I do not want this. And I remember like popping in Mario and seeing super Mario world and just going, nevermind. We're good. This is good. This is better.

[00:10:42] This is way better than Andrew's. Andrew can fuck off this. He's never touching this. He's never coming over. Yeah. So the thing though, that really always stands out to me about the super Nintendo is the music. Cause like, Oh, they had that. They had that Sony chip and it was like way crazier sounding than anything else in the 16 bit era. Like it was damn near CD quality. Like this close to being CD quality.

[00:11:13] There's a lot of fucking soundtracks on the SNES that really fucking stand out. Like compared to like say the Genesis were like some really early Genesis games had, had incredibly eight bit sounding soundtracks. The fucking SNES, like right from the get go, like as soon as you boot up fucking super Mario world, it's just, it's bopping. It's fucking hits hard. I know. Yeah.

[00:11:42] I mean, Final Fantasy three or six, you know, whatever one you, whatever you want to call it, had that opera scene, which that was crazy. Like it was like the first time you could almost like visualize what like they were like, the words were coming up and it was like that. It was like that simulated voice, like the vocoder thing. Yeah, dude. That was insane. That was crazy.

[00:12:06] And then like, like Chrono Trigger is like as close to CD quality on a 16 bit console as you're going to get. Like that, that game had absolutely incredible music. And I mean, even like Donkey Kong Country, like what's his face? Is it David Weiss? The guy. David Weiss. Yeah. Yeah. He, he composed. Yeah. He was the composer of Donkey Kong Country, I believe. I think. Yeah. I'm pretty sure. You're right.

[00:12:34] He, I feel like I read one time that he, he was doing like, he was using tricks to like get that soundtrack to sound the way it was. It was almost like he was sampling in multiple instruments into one. Cause like you only had, there was limitations to what the Super Nintendo could do, but like he was totally just thinking outside the box and just pouring all kinds of cool shit into Donkey Kong Country. And then like another one that stands out to me for, for the music is Yoshi's Island, Super Mario World 2.

[00:13:03] Oh God damn. Yeah. So good. And I mean, even the graphics in that too, like that was, that was kind of a late game to the Super Nintendo, but like the graphics were incredible. Um, but besides, besides the music thing, uh, one thing that we said that we wanted to talk about were like the must play games. And we do have some overlap because we are one brain, the hive mind. And it's a banging fucking system. There's a lot of games that, I mean, classics are classics for a reason.

[00:13:33] So there's a lot of banging ass games on this thing, man. Yeah. Like we both have earthbound on our, our list for a reason. Like it's my number two favorite game of all time. Is it? Yeah. Number two. Number two. Yeah. It's, that's such a crazy, like there's nothing really like earthbound. Like even down to its visual style, down to like just the, the sense of humor that it has.

[00:14:02] I mean, there's been stuff that's come out that's similar, but like, you're like inspired. Yeah. Like a lot of stuff is very much inspired by earthbound, but like, I can't think of a lot of stuff that is just. Even, even of that time, that was a lot like that. I think the only thing that even comes close to somewhat replicating that like quirky feel is that I think it was a PS, maybe a Saturn game or PS one game called moon.

[00:14:31] Oh, the anti RPG. Yeah. It was like moon remix something or other like that. It's like getting, it's getting re-released on switch. I think later this year, unless it may have, I'm pretty sure it already is. Yeah.

[00:14:47] I think that's the only thing that I can think of that's even remotely similar in, in concept, but you know, we both have Mega Man X, which is just like, I'm pretty sure I like metal because of Mega Man X. Like I'm, I'm serious. Yeah. Like dude, Mega Man X soundtrack. Dude, Storm Eagle. You fire that Storm Eagle up.

[00:15:15] I'm starting to mosh pit with Storm Eagle or like a spark man. Jesus Christ. Spark Mandrill is the song of that game. And for any of you out there that are listening that are musicians, I dare you to try to learn how to play that on guitar. Is it that difficult? It's really fucking hard. Like you were at the very bottom of the neck of the guitar for when it gets like into, into the crazy shit. Like it's, it's fucking crazy.

[00:15:45] Um, we also both had Secret of Mana, which buddy, like my, my heart. When I seen that you also picked Secret of Mana because I, I remember growing up with Secret of Mana and nobody knew about it. Like it's, nobody knew about Secret of Mana. It's crazy.

[00:16:08] What's weird is like a lot of, a lot of the games I marked down on this list, or I guess a lot of my, my, a lot of my now favorite retro games. A lot of them I didn't even grow up with. They're games that, games I discovered later on in life. And I was just like, wow, this is actually really stands the fucking test of time. And like, I played a lot of these games over and over and over and over. And they always hold up every single time. Secret of Mana or Mana is, is one of them.

[00:16:38] Like I, I didn't play this game until maybe whenever the fuck I graduated high school and lived on my own and discovered, uh, emulation. And then, oh, dip, played a fucking the shit out of it. Maybe like every couple of years I'll, I'll play it and just fucking love it all over again. That's another one that has a banging soundtrack. Dude, the boss theme, the boss theme is insane. Fucking mystic invasion. Um.

[00:17:06] You got those like, uh, those bells, like that, those haunting bells when you go to like that, uh, when they capture, uh, the chick with the pink. Like she's called something different in like, uh, North America and in Japan. I think she's called like, I think it's like starts with a P like Puri or Puri or something. That sounds right. Yeah. Poor, poor. No, I don't remember. I don't remember any fucking, I always name everybody dumb, stupid names every single time. Prim.

[00:17:37] Prim. There you go. So yeah, uh, yeah, they, uh, they changed their names. So in, uh, I'm pretty sure in Japan and Europe, they use the right names, which is Randy for the, the main guy. And then there was Prim. Randy. Like he's some fucking trailer park trash. Yeah. What's going on? Randy. Ransom. Randy, dude. That's what they call him. Taking your bitch hostage.

[00:18:09] And then, uh, the little Sprite was, uh, Popoy. Oh yeah. But you know what was funny? I like, I inherited secret of mana. And that's another thing. I call it mana. You call it mana, but I'm Canadian and you're not. I kind of call it a little bit of both. I still don't know how the fuck that word is pronounced. Cause like everybody says it different. I'm just going to keep going with mana. I've always said mana. Everybody else can fuck right the hell off.

[00:18:37] Um, it was funny because I inherited that game. My mom used to babysit these two boys that were like roughly my age. And that's how I discovered it. He, he, uh, the guy brought that over with Castlevania four, which like scared the shit out of me as a kid. Oh yeah. And then, yeah, like we're playing secret of mana and I guess they were playing with their parents. So the main character's name was just mom.

[00:19:05] Um, and I was like, what a stupid name for a character. Cause he was like already named that, but that's just what he was just automatically named. Um, which is kind of funny. Um, and then, yeah, uh, I also have, uh, of course, super Mario world and super Mario all-stars and Yoshi's Island. Like you, like those are like the trifecta. Like if you have a super Nintendo, if you get your hands on a super Nintendo or however

[00:19:30] you want to play super Nintendo, like you, you gotta play the Mario games. I mean, I know that not everybody's into platformers, but like they're among the best, especially those all-stars, like the, the remakes of the originals. Oh my God. Yeah. That remake of Mario three on the all-stars, it adds so many popping ass colors and oh my God, it makes an already fucking perfect game, even more perfecter.

[00:20:00] I'm going to say perfecter. Uh, speaking of perfect games, I cannot find anything wrong with super Mario RPG. There's nothing that game is flawless. There's nothing wrong with that game. That game is a perfect game. It's like, and it's like perfect too. Like if, if you're not even into RPGs, it's like, I would almost recommend this as the definitive RPG to get into RPGs.

[00:20:28] And especially now with the remake out, which by the way is really good. Yep. It's fantastic. Uh, and then of course I spent a lot of time again with my co-host Greg on super ghost. Uh, we used to rent Kirby superstar. All the time when we were little kids and we used to play the shit out of that. And we used to, we used to always play the, um, the, like the samurai mini game. Do you remember that?

[00:20:54] Where like, you just see like the two Kirby characters and then like, it's almost like a thing pops up and you, whoever hits like the button first, like hits the other one. Like Kirby superstar was cool. Cause it had like all these little mini games and stuff. It was like fully co-op. Um, yeah, just an all around banger of a game. I need to play that one again. Fuck. I miss Kirby so much. Dude, Kirby is so good.

[00:21:20] Like I don't even, I don't think I've, no, actually that's a lie. I have played Kirby games that I don't really like. Like Epic Yarn. Like what is Epic Yarn even? That's not a good game. It's not bad. It's a bad game. It's not terrible. You can't die. That's true. Isn't that weird? Yeah. I mean, it is weird, but it looks cool. Oh, I wish someone would do like a ROM hack and put it on like hard mode.

[00:21:51] They, um, they kind of did with the 3ds remake. They added this like new mode where this like fucking bat demon dude is chasing you the whole time. And if he reaches you, I think then you die or you start the level all over or something like that. I forget what the fuck it was. Yeah. Oh man. Um, those, the, I only played like fairly recently that, uh, Kirby planet Robobot on 3ds. Ooh, that game kicks ass, dude.

[00:22:21] It's the, it's the, my favorite Kirby game so far, dude. That one fucking rules. Yeah, it is good. It is like, dude, sometimes I just like forget that I have that 3ds. Like I, I just want to like crack that thing open like the King, King James Bible and just like breathe off the dust. Part of the Red Sea just like. Yeah. I just want to, I want to get back into playing some 3ds stuff, which there's never been a better time. Especially now with this podcast. Exactly.

[00:22:51] And of course, a link to the past. There's, it's like, you, you can't play Super Nintendo without a link to the past. You can't. It's like one of the greatest games of all time. It really is. That's, I think the first Zelda I ever beat. Uh, and actually I think I beat the GBA version, but I mean, they're like the same fucking thing. Um, yeah. I think with the exception that every time you roll, Link goes hop, hop, hop.

[00:23:21] Pretty sure. He has his little hops, haps. Haps. Yeah, great fucking game. Yeah. Link to the past is awesome. Yep. Uh, go ahead with your, uh, with your number one pick. The first thing that came to your brain when you had to start picking your top consoles, your top three consoles of all time, period, ever. The very first console I could think of ever, period, forever, uh, for my favorite consoles, forever, period, ever.

[00:23:52] The PS1, uh, the very first one that popped up, uh, whenever, whenever I, I get a new device that can emulate the first fucking console that comes to mind that I want to emulate is the PS1. Cause fucking, why wouldn't you? There's so much great shit on there. I got to clear my fucking throat. Holy cow. Got the yolk throw. Damn. That's all this fucking energy tea that tastes like garbage. It tastes like fucking sewer runoff.

[00:24:22] Um, and yeah, the PS1, it's home to my favorite game of all time. Final Fantasy nine. The greatest game that God ever bestowed upon us. Thank you, God. Uh, everything about the game is perfect. The great fucking soundtrack, best, best cast of characters in any final fantasy game. Uh, pretty fucking great story. It's just, it's just all around great. Final Fantasy nine. It's awesome. Even like the original PS one version still holds up.

[00:24:51] I guess like any, any PS one game still holds up incredibly well. They do. Yeah. But, uh, another one, Chrono Cross. I, I, I, people, people love to shit on Chrono Cross because it's not Chrono Trigger two. It's not what they wanted. And like, glad it wasn't. I know. People keep trying to say like, oh, if it was, if it didn't have Chrono in the name, it'd be a good game. But like, it's still a good game.

[00:25:19] Like it's got so many ties to, to Chrono Trigger in the fucking story. I love how much can change depending on like, fuck yeah. And like, and like, you can't like, unless you have a guide, you can't just get all those characters. Like there's a lot of characters that you can get. Yeah. You have to have some of them are really obscure. Oh my God. Yeah. You have to have, I think like three playthroughs to get everybody. And yeah, there's a lot of fucking obscure ones like Turnip.

[00:25:49] Fuck that. The clown Skelly. Fuck that too. But yeah, Chrono, Chrono Cross. I mean, it's the fucking soundtrack is, it's a hit. It's so fucking good. That intro song, like almost brings tears to my eyes when I hear like the, the violin kicking. Oh dude. And it's flipping through the pages in that book. And then, oh, the fucking, the press start screen where it's just like plowing through

[00:26:18] the, the, the sea and you see like fishes flying by. You see little bits of coral and rocks and shit. It's so fucking pretty. It's so colorful. Yeah. And just, yeah, the whole, the whole world to the game is colorful that all the characters are, are, are great. Like each, each character has, or I guess each of your, each of the characters that can join your party. They all have their own distinct like speech patterns and accents and shit like that. Like, yeah, that's another thing too. That's really unique about that game.

[00:26:48] Like you got, um, what's the, what's the chick's name? There's, there's, uh, there's a, oh, uh, you're talking about the blonde head. Yeah. Kid. She talks like with a, like you can clearly like tell from playing the game and reading the dialogue and the way that the dialogue is written that she has like that really thick, like Cockney's accent. Yeah, dude. Like she's like, oy, she says oy a lot. And then there's even, I think the mermaid's name is I, I renis, I renis.

[00:27:16] And she, she's like a heavy, like Scandinavian accent. You see like all the different umlauts on different characters and you can kind of like, yeah, fuck. Yeah. That's great. That's such a good game. And the combat is so fucking fun to the customizing the element grids for each character and trying to figure out which ones are good and which ones suck. Uh, one that we both had a really cool twist too. Like the twist in that game is wild.

[00:27:45] Like when you, when it does like the cold open, also that cold open has different characters every time. Did you know that? Yeah. The intro like level, the, like the tower of time or whatever it is that you're at. Like that has, it just picks like two random characters or one extra character. That's like random. Yeah. Cause I remember being, I remember being pissed because like I had links the first time I played it, I had links in my party and I was like, this dude's cool as fuck, man.

[00:28:15] Look at this guy. He's fucking cool. And then I couldn't find him. Like I, I remember like my whole playthrough, like, cause I think he's one of the ones that are like a, like slightly obscure. Like you can get them, but like, I like, cause I think you get them eventually anyways, but he doesn't stay in the party. Yeah. You get them. It's like a, it's part of the story. They do. I get, do I get to spoil something? Can I spoil it? Yeah. Spoiler tag. We'll, we'll throw, throw a little spoiler tag here. No. I'll just say it's story related.

[00:28:45] Yeah. Yeah. It's story related. Yeah. Yeah. He's, he is fucking awesome. Like he has a, is it one special move where he shoots out all those cats? Those like shadow cats, shadow cats, shadow cats. Go great. Fucking. I love chrono cross dude. Um, and then, fuck another one that we both seem to fucking love is parasite Eve. The first pair. Jesus Christ. What again?

[00:29:15] Those get like that first one. So I used to own two and I, I only ever knew it as a resident evil clone with like RPG elements. With those weird like mutant camels that scared the fuck out of me as a kid. Yeah. Did not like those. Terrible. Dude. Tell me about parasite Eve one. Oh my God. So, so, so all the things that you know and love about resident evil, but it's in New

[00:29:41] York city on Christmas time and it's got a fucking whopping soundtrack, like a fucking super good soundtrack, especially that like bot that battle theme down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down. Oh my God. And then the combat is so fucking cool. It reminds me a lot of like vagrant story kind of, except for like, uh, you don't target specific stuff. You just pow, pow them to death and, uh, fuck. Yeah.

[00:30:10] You're just roaming through New York city, trying to track down Eve or whatever her name is and upgrading your, your weapons and your armor and finding new weapons and just killing mutant animals and shit. Mitochondria. Uh, uh, uh, what's, what's the word for like the fire shit? Um, spontaneous combustion. There we go. Yeah. Yeah. Jesus Christ. Yeah. Instead of like, just like fire spells, it's like spontaneous combustion.

[00:30:38] And then there's like, um, metabolism, I think is like another term that's used for something. I think that's like the healing spells. I think so. Something like that. Uh, I think it was like mitochondria or whatever. Was that? I don't know. I haven't played that game for a while. There's lots of, lots of fancy science terms and I'm not that smart. So. Yeah.

[00:31:07] Uh, and then the next one, Castlevania symphony of the night. Holy shit. Another, another great soundtrack. Um, yeah, I said, yeah, whole game is just too good. It's, it's too good. Just roaming through the castle, turning into like mist clouds or bats or dogs sometimes and finding all those secret little goodies and like familiars like the sword guy who's kind of hard to get. Uh, just fucking great game. I've only played that game.

[00:31:36] I've only ever played that game once ever. In like 2005. Like, yeah, it's been a long time since I played that. I kind of want to go back cause this is, this is going to hurt your soul when I tell you this. I'm ready. I played through once and was like, I'm done. Oh man. I didn't, I didn't do the whole upside down castle. Yeah.

[00:32:04] I didn't do any of that, which now I know is like, it's basically like saying, yeah, I got ending a and near like, nope. You got the whole alphabet left, but yeah, I gotta, I gotta go back to that game cause it's, it's too damn good for me to not have fully completed properly. Yeah. And there's, there's so fucking much to that game too.

[00:32:30] Like there's all sorts of little secrets that you can find little voice lines that the characters make are so fucking cheesy and goofy. Like the fucking merchant guy. Hey, thank you. Still the greatest fucking shit ever. Oh man. Uh, then my last one, uh, is Digimon world. I remember this one. I mean, let me, I think I for sure grew up with final fantasy nine and I for sure grew up

[00:32:59] with Digimon world or for playing this game. And it's a, uh, I think it was my, my dad's girlfriend at the time's house. Uh, we played the fuck out of Digimon world. Uh, the fuck I played it recently and it still holds up and it's kind of obtuse in a way, but like once you really learn how the game works and how to like really, was it like a Pokemon type?

[00:33:28] Oh, how did that work? Was it a card base? There, I think there was, there is a Digimon card game game on the PS one, but there's like three Digimon world games. They're all kind of different though. So like the first one, you only ever have your one Digimon and you just, you, you train it and you basically recruit all these other, um, all these other Digimon to come back to your city and they offer different services.

[00:33:54] And eventually you just, you, you beat the last boss and when the game, I forget. I'm just picturing Digimon giving like all different services, like this one's now the milk man and this one gives a good rub and tug. The good rub and tug. Uh, what else is, uh, Digimon world two is like, uh, it's more like a dungeon crawler, like, uh, like an E-trian odyssey almost.

[00:34:24] You have like a, like a party of three Digimon. Um, then Digimon world three, that one's more like Pokemon. You can, you can capture different Digimon pretty much. Yeah. And, uh, Digimon world one, it's, uh, it's still solid game and it's, it's fun. Great soundtrack. Uh, I remember the, uh, I remember back in the day, like Digimon was like totally overshadowed by Pokemon, but I, I used to always think that the, like the monsters and Digimon look

[00:34:51] so fucking bad-ass when they hit like their third evolution or whatever, whatever the terminology was like the main, like T-Rex dude, he turned into such a crazy looking dude. Dude. Fuck yeah. Like, like Pokemon is just like fucking Pokemon doesn't have shit. Like you, you go from Pikachu to Raichu and it's like the same thing. It's just a fucking rat. Just a dirty, disgusting rat.

[00:35:18] The Bulbasaur goes from being like toad plant to bigger toad plant to even bigger toad plant. But then you get Digimon where you get fucking Algumon goes into like big grizzly dinosaur then to like half machine, half dinosaur and then to like full fucking Gundam dino shit. And then yeah, Digimon. Digimon fucking rules, dude. Wasn't there like a, like a mole looking like bunny guy that had like big like gauntlets or something?

[00:35:47] Like, like a minigun arms? Yeah, dude. Yeah, dude. Oh, what's his name? Okay, wait. So is Digimon actually the first Pal world? I think so. I mean, I remember seeing a couple of memes. Yeah, because there's one Digimon who is literally made out of guns. It's like Gundramon or some shit like that. Gundramon! Let me look it up. Gun, Digimon. Machine Gun Kellymon. It's literally just Gundramon. No way.

[00:36:18] Save this fucking image and I'll send it to you in the chat, dude. It's pretty fucking great. It's just a dragon made of, made out of guns, dude. So anyway, I started blasting. Look at Riverside chat. Oh my God. That's insane. He has revolvers for hands. Here's another one. This one's just a fucking tank, bro. Was this designed by Hideo Kojima? Oh my God. These are crazy. These are just weapons.

[00:36:48] I know, dude. Isn't it great? This is nuts. Digimon rules, dude. Oh my God. Holy shit. What the hell is this thing? There's so many that are just like, just machines. Like just fucking machines with like big fucking laser cannons on there. But this last one I sent you, Machine Drummond. He's got like a metal skull on his kneecap. And that's pretty fucking metal. Yeah. Oh, and there's Balezaman. Digimon.

[00:37:16] He's fucking Balezebub, basically. He's got two dual shotguns. Yeah. Shotguns. Dude, he's got dual fucking shouties. I didn't know that Digimon went this hard. It did. It's fucking Digimon fucking rules, bro. Holy shit, dude. This looks like Tetsuya Nomura made this. Look at this thing. This is crazy. It's the coolest, dude. Digimon fucking slaps so hard.

[00:37:46] I can now see why you put this on your list. It makes sense. It's all the guns. I'll never make fun of you for Digimon. It's all the guns. Yeah. The next one on my pick is something that's near and dear to my heart, which is the Nintendo 64. Because, like, if you grew up with a Nintendo 64, you for sure have nostalgia for it. If you didn't, you pick up that controller and go, fuck this thing to hell.

[00:38:15] I don't want nothing to do with this. How do I shove this up my ass? One for this part and one for this part. Like, the N64 controller just looks like a fucking angry dragon dildo. It really does, dude. Three prongs, one for everybody. Four player. Fucking pop in the vibration pack or whatever. The rumble pack, yeah. Yeah, dude.

[00:38:45] But, yeah, like, obviously the controller is the thing, like, anybody now going back to N64 is just going to look at that thing and be like, what the hell am I supposed to do with this? Like, what is this? What is this thing? I don't know what it is. But I like it. And it's hard to emulate. Like, if you try to emulate N64 stuff without that controller, you end up having to use, like, an analog stick to use the C buttons, which doesn't feel right. Because, like, a lot of games, they just act as face buttons.

[00:39:15] So, essentially, it's a six-face button controller. Like, it was just, I don't know, it was strange and unique in its own way. Plus, that analog was something to be desired. Like, it left a lot to be desired. But, like, I don't know. There's something about it. But, like, as a matter of fact, recently, you know that Retro Fighters game, the Dreamcast controller that I showed you that I got? Yeah.

[00:39:43] They also made an N64 controller, which is cool. There's some slight flaws to it, though. Like, for the fact that they put LNR on, like, analog, like, pressure-sensitive triggers, which the N64 didn't even have, though. So, like, why would you even? But either way, there's something about the analog on the N64, like, the actual N64.

[00:40:09] Like, when my buddy and I were playing Mario 64, it just didn't feel right. Like, there's something about, like, the proper dead zone of the N64, like, OG controller that is not really replicated in other stuff. And, like, I highly recommend the Nintendo Switch Online N64 controller if you can get your hands on one. Because they are really well-made. Really cool. That's what I use for all my...

[00:40:37] The only thing I can recall about... I mean, I do have a few OG Nintendo 64 controllers down in my basement, but one of my... Whenever I think of, like, the N64 controller's analog stick, I always think of, like, a little floppy little fucking stick that kind of, like, falls to one side. And it, like, just never... There's no dead zone to it. Yeah, because... It's just kind of, like... Everybody had that one asshole friend that would come over and play Mario Party when you had to do the tug-and-roll tour.

[00:41:05] They're just fucking riffing on the fucking thing with their palm, and then they got, like, the blister on the inside of their hand. Yeah, and they try to go fucking... They try to go sue Nintendo about it. Oh, your controllers hurt my hands, Mr. Tendo. Fucking... Don't do that, stupid. Use your fucking thumb. Yeah. Um... Speaking about the games, though, for the Nintendo 64, there are some absolute bangers on this system.

[00:41:35] And one of my all-time favorite games, and I will bring this up endlessly, no matter what. No matter what the situation. Like, I could be at my first communion. I'm talking about Mystical Ninja. I don't give a shit. I'm gonna accept the body of Christ, and then I'm immediately gonna tell the priest how cool Goemon is. Just mowing down on that cracker and wine, and you're like, hey, hey, chief. You ever hear of Mystical Ninja star Goemon? Hey, chief!

[00:42:07] He's just like, no. I'm doing the Holy Trinity or whatever. He's just like, tell me about it, boss. Yeah. So, let me tell you about it. I mean, you're familiar with Goemon. Oh, hell yeah. Dude, Mystical Ninja on N64 is as good as any of the games on the N64, in my opinion. It is such a weird and fun game.

[00:42:33] It's got, like, one of the coolest soundtracks ever that, to this day, I'll be walking around my house humming it. Like, I'm always humming Mystical Ninja. And it's got, like, really fun, fluid, like, action, adventure, like, kind of like Zelda, but just, like, without a lock-on system. It's kind of like a 3D, just, like, hack and slash kind of thing, but with ridiculous themes.

[00:43:02] Um, then I had the sequel, which was a 2D game, uh, Goemon's Great Adventure, which was four-player co-op. And that game is fantastic. Um, of course, there's Ocarina of Time in Mario 64. Like, we don't, like, those are, like, givens. If you ever get your hands on N64 in any capacity, I mean, Ocarina of Time is, like, which, it's funny, though, because, like, some people that will go and play Ocarina of Time now are a little, like,

[00:43:30] taken aback by it, because it, to me, it's still aged well, but to others, it really hasn't. Yeah, I can see that. In a lot of ways. And then, like, Mario 64. Mario 64 was the first thing I ever seen on the N64. I remember walking into a Blockbuster, and I went there to rent a Super Nintendo game, and I didn't, like, I mean, there was no, I mean, we weren't internet kids or anything. Like, we didn't grow up with the internet and just everything flashing in our face as we scroll through social media.

[00:44:01] But, like, back then, I didn't have any way of knowing that there was this new Nintendo console until I went into a fucking Blockbuster. And I'm, like, what is that? What is this thing? And the guy's just, like, this fucking, I'll never forget, he's, like, this fucking grunge kid. And he's just, like, oh, that's Nintendo 64. And I was, like, but what is that?

[00:44:22] And I'm, like, looking at the controller, and I'm, like, trying to, like, I felt like the monkeys looking at the monolith, just, like, yelling at it, like, what the fuck is this? And, yeah, like, I just remember moving Mario, because he's, like, no, no, you got to use the middle part. I remember just, like, moving him, and I will never forget that, because I was just blown away by how crazy that was to experience just, like, fully 3D Mario. Like, that was insane.

[00:44:51] I used to rent the fucking console. Do you remember when you could rent consoles, and they would come in, like, the tactile briefcase? Yeah, dude, there was a store, when I went to my dad's every other weekend, there was a store that rented consoles, and we did that a lot with the original Xbox, I think. We played a fuck ton of Fusion Frenzy in Dead or Alive with that rented Xbox, dude. Really? Great times. This shit was great. Yeah.

[00:45:21] I remember getting that N64 and renting it, and I've told this story on Super Ghost before, how I had to bring back the N64 one night, and I remember playing Mario Kart, and I was, like, losing on Rainbow Road, and I was getting so frustrated. And then I remember just, like, my dad, like, yelling down, like, okay, pack it away, I gotta bring it back to the video store now.

[00:45:46] And I remember just, like, fighting back the tears as I'm, like, packing this thing away, because I'm, like, I'm never gonna own one of these. Like, I'll never own one. And I remember, like, he brought it back to the video store, and I had to go to bed. And I remember, like, laying in bed, like, just weeping. And he comes in. Jesus Christ. And he's, like, hey, hey, hey, buddy, what's wrong? And I was just, like, nothing. He was, like, wait. Are you crying about that goddamn Nintendo? And I was, like, I'm just never gonna get one.

[00:46:15] And he was just, like, Jesus Christ. Like, he was so upset that I was crying. He was, like, calling up to my mom, like, can you fucking believe this? Like, he's crying about the fucking Nintendo. And I was just, like, sobbing, like, I'm never gonna own one. You're just so scarred over the loss. I'm never gonna beat Rainbow Road. And then, yeah, some of my lesser known games, something that I actually recently just finished, and talk a little bit more about it.

[00:46:46] Castlevania Legacy of Darkness. Ugh. Chef's Kiss. That's such a good game. That's such a good game. I can't believe how good it is. Mischief Makers. Have you ever played Mischief Makers? I haven't actually played it, but I've heard a lot about it. I know you shake stuff. And it's got some wacky fucking post-game shit. Yeah. And, I mean, it's Treasure. Treasure.

[00:47:13] I don't know if Treasure has made a bad game. No, they made Dynamite Heady in that fucking box, dude. You know what? I have not played Dynamite Heady. Oh, Dynamite Heady fucking rules, dude. Didn't they also make Gunstar Heroes and a fucking McDonald's game? That McDonald's game? Dude, that McDonald's game has no right being as good as it is. Fucking McDonald's, dude. Fucking give me a McTarvish.

[00:47:41] Billy Bitchel and fucking Tarvis Tots or whatever. Tarvis Scott. Tarvis Tots. Yeah. They just make fantastic games. And Mischief Makers is no exception. It's weird because there's not a lot of platformers, 2D platformers on N64. For the most part, all the 2D platformers are really cool.

[00:48:08] And then, of course, dude, we got to give some love to our little dude, little Bomberman. Bomberman's the best. Yes, I fucking love Bomberman. He's so good. My little baby. Yeah, Bomberman 64 and the Bomberman Hero games. So good. Dude, fucking such good sound. Especially Bomberman Hero. Bomberman Hero soundtrack is so fucking stupidly good.

[00:48:37] Dude, oh my fucking God. Yeah, they are fantastic games. But enough about my N64. Tell me. What do you think about the Super Nintendo? Because that was the second one on your list. Yeah, I kind of fucking love the Super Nintendo. Fuck, man. Yeah, it's... Fuck. I don't know how to explain how I feel about it. I just...

[00:49:04] It still holds up so incredibly fucking well, despite being fucking really old. Oh, man. Yeah. The first game that came to mind, of course, fucking Earthbound. Because, yeah, there's nothing like Earthbound. And how, like, quirky, kind of fucking dark it can be. Oh, man. But mostly quirky. Zoom, by the way. Zoom. Hey, everybody. That's the Mr. Saturn reference, because they say Zoom all the time.

[00:49:34] Fucking the soundtrack rips. Yes. Every fucking song is really good. The combat. I mean... It can be hard. Yeah. It can get really, really difficult. Yeah, if you don't... If you don't grind at least just, like, a little bit, you'll be kind of fucked. Did you know about how, back in the day, there was an anti-piracy thing built into Earthbound?

[00:50:00] That you could get all the way to the last place, like, to fight Gigas, and then it would purposely crash and erase your save and be like, too bad. I had no idea. That's fucking cool. I know, right? Like, it is really cool. You would download a fettuccine Alfredo. Fuck those commercials. Oh, my God. Holy shit, dude. Just show some kid plugging a fucking USB drive into the helmet. You wouldn't download a house.

[00:50:30] So stupid. Those commercials are so dumb, dude. Yeah, they didn't think ahead on those. They were just kind of like, how can we scare the children? Cops immediately fucking show up, dude. Oh, I remember one time. My old roommates were, they were torrenting like the entire Fast and the Furious film series, which I think at the time...

[00:50:57] Vin Diesel broke their fucking windows open and just like took revenge. I think at the time, it only went up to like Fast 8? No. Maybe Fast 7 or some shit. But anyway, we got a notice from our internet provider and they were like, basically, they were just like, don't fucking do that shit. That's illegal as hell. Guys, come on. It's all about family. Just like Olive Garden. It's fucking family or whatever.

[00:51:26] Just like Olive Garden. Fast 11. Olive Garden. Fucking Dominic Toretto or Vin Diesel. That's his real name. Jesus Christ. He's just like, hey, this fucking pasta primavera is pretty dope. Zoom, zoom. Zoom. How fast can it go? Monster RX-7, baby. Dude. Mega Man X, though. It's really fucking good.

[00:51:58] Mega Man X is good. Wait. I have a question. Which Mega Man X on Super Nintendo is your favorite? Man, that's tough. They're all fucking good. But I think the first one is like, it's just so fucking rock solid. Like sometimes, I don't know what it is about. I think it goes up to like four on the SNES, doesn't it? No, three. Three. Okay. Four was on PlayStation. Okay.

[00:52:26] But fun fact, three was also on PlayStation in Europe and Japan. That's fucking wild. Three is my favorite. I think on Super Nintendo. Yeah, they're all fucking good on the SNES. But I've replayed the first game just so many goddamn times. I know. It never gets old. Yeah, it never does. Just going through and getting all the different secret armor pieces. And then. The hot token? Yeah, the fucking hot dude.

[00:52:56] And then what is it? I can't think of any of the bosses' names. We were talking about them earlier. Yeah, Spark Mandrill. Yeah, Storm Eagle. The fucking bosses are all super fucking cool, Chill Penguin. Chill Penguin is the first one that you should be doing. Oh, man. They're all so fucking good. I think I remember the order. Oh, and there was a chameleon. There was the octopus. Oh, there was that boomerang quanger.

[00:53:26] Oh, whatever the fuck that was. Yep. Yeah, he sucked. He was rough. I remember his level being crazy hard. And what else did I have? I'm trying to think of it off the top of my head. Oh, Secret of Mana, of course. Or no, I did it again. Mana, whatever. It doesn't matter. Yeah, it really doesn't matter. Have you played Senken Dinsetsu 3? Fuck yeah. I got Trials of Mana. Yeah, I fucking bought the collection of mana.

[00:53:55] Like the day it came out, I was like, fuck yeah. Because I think I didn't even know Trials of Mana existed before that collection. Because I remember seeing how the collection came out for Switch in Japan. And it had that one exclusive game. And we were missing out on that. And I thought about buying that fucking collection and maybe playing that. But yeah, all Japanese. Yeah, I own it.

[00:54:24] And they finally translated it and brought it over in that collection. And then they remade it. That remake is really good. Fuck yeah, it is. Damn. They did a really good job on that remake. And then fucking Secret of Mana. The Secret of Mana kind of gets a little janky. And sometimes it pisses me off. But it's still... Yeah, the pros outweigh the cons. It's still really good. Really good soundtrack. It looks really fucking great.

[00:54:53] It plays really fucking great. Have you played it in co-op? I haven't. I wish I did. That's the way. Ooh, we could do that, you know. We could fire up some Parsec. Yeah. Use some Parsec. We gotta get... Emulate it. We gotta get a third for sure, too. We gotta have somebody to be the healer. Damn it. Yep.

[00:55:19] There's a ROM hack that adds three players to trials, like the original second Nintensu 3 as well. That's fucking cool. Mm-hmm. Yeah, I remember one of my favorite things about Secret of Mana is how you learn different spells by just using the spells you have over and over and over. And they'll upgrade and become more powerful and shit. And I think that's so fucking cool. And then you unlock all those different weapons and you upgrade those weapons with little like

[00:55:48] ore orbs or whatever the fuck they're called. That's really fucking cool. All the fucking elemental sprites have awesome fucking designs. Dude, the ring menu was genius. It is. Like the ring menu? Like the... Ooh. Yeah, dude. Yeah, so good. It works so well. I got shade on my arm. Oh, fuck. You do? Yeah. No way. Yeah, right there. God damn it. I don't have any Secret of Mana tattoos. What the fuck?

[00:56:17] I thought I was like the Secret of Mana guy. You should get one. All right, fuck this. Abort this. Abort this whole thing. Get the light one. Get the opposite one. I thought about getting Dryad because Dryad's really fucking cool too. Yeah, there's not a whole lot. I'd like to get a full back piece of Flammy. It's like mode seven, but like tattooed on your back. Yeah. I want to get mode seven on my back.

[00:56:44] Not like anything in particular, just like mode seven clouds or something. Oh, shit. Get that across by like right here. Mode seven. Across my chest. Oh, shit. Speaking of mode seven kind of, I also had Chrono Trigger down because, yeah, it's fucking surprise. It's good. Yeah. It's got some mode seven. Another, yeah. Just another fucking great fucking cast of characters. Great story.

[00:57:14] I don't know what else to say about Chrono Trigger that hasn't already been said. It's just a great fucking game. You can look into a bucket and fight Lavos if you want to. That's stupid but cool. I forgot about that. The fucking, the Chrono Trigger has, or not the Chrono, the Chrono Series has like the best fucking new game plus of any series ever. They do it in like the coolest ways. They're like, hey, here's, here's different endings depending on what you do. But we'll let you skip like half of the game once you get to this point. And then it's. Yep.

[00:57:43] Thank you, Chrono Series. In Chrono Trigger, isn't it when you get to Magus that you can do the skip? I can't remember when it is they allow you to do it. I think it's just like whenever, whenever you get to the, whatever the fucking hub place is called, the end of time, I think, because you can just look at, the bucket is like right there. Oh, right. Yeah. You just look into the bucket and the bucket has that sparkle. Yeah. Yep. Um, dude, and Frog's theme? Come on.

[00:58:14] Come on. Frog's so cool. It's one of the coolest fucking themes ever. What's that one song? Magus's theme is also good. I think there's one track called like Windy Scene or something like that. That one's really good. All the stuff in the prehistoric place is really good too. Yeah, it is. Uh, my last one is Tetris Attack because I love puzzle games and Tetris Attack. Once you start, it's hard to put down like a can of Pringles. Your hand gets fucking stuck in there, dude.

[00:58:43] It's, Tetris Attack just fucking rules. It's so good. Tetris Attack, this can of Pringles. Exactly, dude. I'll do the pizza kind. You fucking bet your sweet ass. Let me get my fist in there. Dude, pizza Pringles though? Or like, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Pringles. Yeah, pretty good. Pretty fucking good, dude. I remember the commercial from the early 2000s where they were like, it was like this claymation fucking chef. He was like spinning a pizza dough in the air. He was like, no Pringles. Oh!

[00:59:12] Or pizza-licious. Dude, what about pizza cheese strings though? I don't. Do you have them? I don't know. You're talking about like string cheese, but like pizza-fied? Yeah. I don't know if I've ever had that before. I guess you just didn't grow up. I guess not. Didn't have a good childhood. Hey, man. I had that like Burger King green slime dipping sauce garbage back in the day. That was something.

[00:59:43] Dude, wasn't it weird how like the 90s was just like, let's just be fucking weird and make everything slime. Yeah, dude. They kind of trickled down to like the early 2000s a little bit because they had like purple ketchup and like purple and green. I believe. I couldn't. I couldn't do that. I don't care if it tastes the same. I can't wrap my hat around purple ketchup. Yeah, purple fries. Get this purple off my fucking fries. Get this purple off my fries. Get this goddamn purple off my fries.

[01:00:12] I didn't order no fucking purple here tonight. Give me some fries. Hold the purple. Oh, man. Yeah. Or if you're there's always that one kid though, that's like, can I have extra purple? Well, what kind of maniac orders their fries with ketchup on them though? That fucking. I don't know, but I bet you that kid smells like piss all the time. Piss kid ordering the purple. The purple. The purple piss kid.

[01:00:45] He died in jail two years ago. There's our fucking. There's our clip for the episode. Purple piss kid. Oh, man. That's it for the SNES, baby. Tetris attack. This kid died in prison. Holy shit. You just know purple piss kid was one of those kids that had like the cookie monster fucking hat from Hot Topic and he always wore those like huge skater shoes.

[01:01:16] Osiris. Yeah. Dude. Fucking Osiris or Etnies. And he committed way too many fucking misdemeanors for a kid his age and now he's in jail. He had that monster flat bib. Oh, God. And with the sticker still on it. And for Christ's sake, don't crease the bib. The bib. Don't crease purple piss kid's monster energy drink bib.

[01:01:44] He's got the iPhone with the fucking cracked screen. Holy shit. Dude, we gotta get like a Photoshop thing going on. Purple piss kid. Purple piss kid. Oh, shit. For now on when we review games, if they're really bad, we give it like at a purple piss kids. At a purple piss kids. Whoa. How did we get here? Oh, God. Purple ketchup.

[01:02:15] That's what happened. Purple ketchup. Fucking fuck purple ketchup. All right. Here we go. My last pick. The Sony PlayStation. You had it. I've heard that's good. I had it. I've come to tell you that it is very good. And I will argue it is the goat of console libraries. I would agree with that. Yeah. There's a lot of fucking head hitters on that biatch. Like, sure. There's no Zelda.

[01:02:44] There's no Mario. But like, it doesn't need it. It's got like fucking everything else. It's got so many crazy games. Matter of fact, as I was picking this list, I was like, oh, I gotta I gotta like make this short and sweet. Because if not, I'm gonna have like four pages of games just listed off. Fuck yeah. There's just so many. Like, we both had Parasite Eve. So like, I won't retread that too much other than I only just played Parasite Eve one recently. Like, fairly recently.

[01:03:13] And I didn't know that that was like a turn-ish based game. I thought it was just fully like Parasite Eve 2. Like, Resident Evil style. But I actually really enjoyed Parasite Eve 1. And I like how they're both completely different games. Like, you'll get something different out of both of those games. Of course, Final Fantasy 7, 8, and 9.

[01:03:38] I like to believe that Final Fantasy 9 is my favorite of the Final Fantasies. Oh, it better be. I say it all the time that it is my favorite. I do. It's like, it's only like just a smidge more than 7 for me. Because I really love 7. 8 is good too. But it doesn't... 8 didn't have like the lasting appeal to me. Like, over time. Like, I beat it once and was like, cool. I'm good.

[01:04:08] This was a fun game. Laguna is really cool. And so is his theme. But... I still need to beat 8, dude. God damn it. I keep putting it off. It's good. The junction system is so fucking complicated. And I just need to learn that shit. But... Yeah. People love to hate on it. But... I mean, it's okay. Yeah. I don't know. There's something about 9. The simplicity of 9. Just going back to like the roots of a turn base.

[01:04:36] And I think that's kind of why I like Dragon Quest games so much now. Yeah. Because like they have that simplicity. But like they... I don't know. They just tell this like really grand epic adventure every time. And that's kind of what 9 does. Yep. It's fantastic. Of course... Like... One thing that you listeners are going to realize real quick about me is I really like platformers like Mega Man. And I really like survival horror. A lot.

[01:05:06] And... Dino Crisis, dude. Dino Crisis though? Yeah, dude. Dino Crisis is what's up. What is the term that they coined for it? It's like survival panic or something like that. What? For Dino Crisis? Let me look it up. Like when they were developing the game or whatever, they tried to give it some like different name. Or different like...

[01:05:35] That name. Genre? I'm going to fucking look it up real fast. Dino Panic. Fuck, where is it? I know they fucking gave it some dumb stupid thing. Survival Crisis. Dude, have you ever played Dino Crisis 3 for Xbox? No, I've just heard that. It's a piece of shit. I still want to try it. Capcom would later market the game as panic horror.

[01:06:03] It's references for animating the dinosaurs and programming their behaviors. I mean, it was... Because they were smart as fuck. Dude, those raptors? And like, you'd walk into a room and you'd just hear like... And you'd just turn around and go back out the other way. Not going in that room. Yeah, Dino Crisis and Resident Evil 2. Like... God damn. Those are so good. And then of course, the Mega Man X games.

[01:06:32] Like X4, 5, 6. Like... Have you played Mega Man X4? I think I've played bits of it. I have the Mega Man X collection on Switch. But I don't think I've beaten X4. And... Have you played Mega Man Legends? Like a little bit. I haven't beaten that one. Oh. Oh. I do have a... I've got an ISO of it downloaded and ready to go though. There you go. There you go.

[01:07:02] Attaboy. Got those ISOs. Yeah. Like all the Mega Man games on PS1 are all good. Like all of them. Mega Man Legends. I still need to beat Mega Man Legends 2. Um... But yeah. Like... They're... Even like weird spinoff shit. Like Misadventures of fucking Tron Bon. I still can't believe they have a main series Mega Man on the fucking PlayStation. That's so wild. Mm-hmm.

[01:07:31] Mega Man 8 is awesome. Probably like some of the craziest sprite work I've ever seen. And then of course, two absolute bangers that like sometimes people just kind of forget about. Dude, Xenogears was wild. I only just recently beat that. And it's just too bad that like the second disc literally becomes a visual novel. But like without the visuals.

[01:07:58] It's literally like just black text for a long time. It is whack. Because they ran out of like fucking funding and shit. Yeah. That really does fucking suck. I always... Fuck. I want to know so badly what that game would have been like if they did have the money to finish everything. It would have been insane. It probably... I mean it's still considered one of the best RPGs on the PS1. I feel like it would easily...

[01:08:28] If they had the funds to finish it the right way. It would still be among like the best games of all time. Because it was already on track with like one of the most crazy stories. But another thing was Square did not like the fact that they were using religion as like the crux of the story. And they were like, eh, we don't really... We don't think you should do that so much. And they were like, well, whatever. It's already done. And then they were like, yeah, well, you guys...

[01:08:57] You've had enough time with it. That's enough. And they were like, oh, okay. I guess we'll just make black screen text and finish it off this way. And then it's just kind of like boss battle after boss battle after boss battle. Black screen text, black screen text, boss battle. Like it's too bad that it ended up the way it was. And then of course, Suikoden. Have you played Suikoden? I always wonder how this is pronounced. This right here. Suikoden.

[01:09:27] I've heard it called... I'm pretty sure it is Suikoden. Yeah. Suikoden. Suikoden. Suikoden. So... Suikoden. Like some kind of fucking monster living down there. Purple piss kid is down underneath your house drinking that Suikoden. That's all he does.

[01:09:58] What's his name from Mario RPG that's in the sewers? That big dog thing that licks everything up? Oh, I can't remember his fucking name. That sounds right. Bellum. I think it's Bellum. Yeah. Suikoden is a fucking wild ass game that has like an infinite amount of people that you could just recruit. Pretty much anybody with a portrait that you talk to, you could just recruit them and use them in your cart. That's fucking cool. Yeah. And then you build like a base. Like you have like a castle. And like all these people just end up going back to your castle and then you can just like go around before you go out.

[01:10:28] Yeah. Dude. You gotta check how Suikoden. And it's some crazy shit. It's a video game. It's a video game and it's cool as fuck. Now, I'm excited to hear about your last pick because it's a console that I feel like it's not talked about enough. But goddammit, we're going to talk about it on this show. You're fucking right we are. I didn't. Oh man. I didn't grow up with this console at all.

[01:10:56] And I didn't really discover how much I loved it until maybe like just recently until I started like digging into it and learning more and more about it. Ah, TurboGrafx-16. It's surprisingly super duper fucking solid. You got shit like Devil's Crush and Alien Crush where they're just like badass demonic pinball games. Yeah, demonic, fucking xenomorphic, fucking disgusting H.R.

[01:11:26] Geiger looking shit. But pinball. And it's just fun to pick up and play whenever just to see if you can beat your last high score or see if you can get to like the next secret stage or whatever. Fucking Air Zonk, which I also recently discovered is really fucking good. Just to... Oh yeah. Yeah. Did you beat that game? No, dude. The last fucking stage is so stupidly difficult.

[01:11:56] It's like... That's what I heard. I was literally talking about this game today. And my buddy Dolo, he was like, dude, I got to the last thing and it was just crushing. Like beyond crushing. Like just insane. And I guess he had used like an infinite lives cheat just so that he could like get through the game. But... Oh, that's what I should do. Yeah. Fuck.

[01:12:25] It's fucking stupid. So it'll be... Well, I mean, it's not stupid. It's just difficult. It's going to be stupid. I hate it. It'll be your regular like shooter stage. And then a boss battle against like one of the main bad guys. And then more shooter stage. And then boss rush. More shooter stage. And then another main bad guy boss battle. And then another boss battle. And then I think that's it.

[01:12:53] But fuck, I've never gotten past that boss rush because there's one boss for like the underwater stage that's fucking stupid difficult. And yeah, I never beat it. But it's cool. Maybe I will tomorrow. I'm going to use that infinite lives cheat. Do it. Do it. It's just... It's so fucking surprisingly well made. Like everything looks... It reminds me a lot of Mega Man X.

[01:13:19] It's the way everything looks kind of like part robotic because there's like robo fish, robo animals. All the fucking enemies have really fucking cool and cute designs. And... Is that one considered a cutem up? I think so. Yeah. I like a cutem up. I guess, yeah, I guess you would because you're... I don't know. You don't ever... Well, I guess you do a fire rocket. Whatever. Who cares? Yeah. There's cool fucking power ups like homing rockets.

[01:13:50] Boxing gloves. Boomerangs. I've never played it. Dude, it's so fucking good. And the music is really fucking good too. The... I wouldn't worry too. There is a sequel. I think it was on the... The Turbo CD. But it's not... It's not very great. It's not... It's not good at all. Yeah, it's... For one, they slowed the whole thing down.

[01:14:19] So much. Oh! Oh! I forgot to mention... Air Zonk. There's... You can pick like a partner before you start a stage. And there's just... Just like fucking... Eight different partners. And they're all dumb, goofy little things. Like a sentient baseball. A little witch. A mummy with a drill on its head. A fucking inflated cow. And you can... During a stage, you can like merge with them. And you'll become invincible.

[01:14:48] And you can just flood the screen with bullets and shit. Yeah, the sequel to it sucks. Don't play the sequel. What else did I put down? Chew Man Fu? What the fuck is that? Dude, it's this like... Weird little puzzle game where... You just walk around... This little maze. And there'll be balls you have to push around into different spaces. That's um... Like there'll be a...

[01:15:17] A space with a color. Like a... So there'll be a green space. And like a blue space. And there'll be different colored balls around the stage. And you basically just have to get... The... The colored ball to its corresponding spot on the stage. But there'll be like enemies walking around blocking your path. Or... Like other balls that you don't need blocking your path. And you just basically... You have to figure out a way around... All your obstacles. And get the balls to the little spaces. And then... Once you get them in the spaces...

[01:15:47] You know, boom. On to the next one. And it gets really fucking difficult after a while too. I like a puzzle game. I'll check that out. It's fucking awesome. And then... You got... Blazing lasers? I've heard of this. Couldn't get that burp out of my throat. Yeah, blazing... Blazing lasers is... Blazing burps. Blazing lasers is so fucking wild, dude. It's like it's... I think...

[01:16:17] When did it come out? 89. It's one of like the first games on the system. I believe. And it's... Nuts. Like you can upgrade your lasers to like take up almost the entire screen. And... There's... There's just really fucking cool, gnarly looking enemies. It won't take you very long to beat. I think it's... Maybe like... 30 minutes? 30 or 40 minutes to beat? But... Oh. Fucking...

[01:16:46] Boppin' soundtrack too. Hell yeah. Boppin'. Every single fucking game I'm going to talk about is a boppin' soundtrack. Yeah. Twist it. Punch it. Hell yeah. Yeah. TurboGrafx-16. Well... There you go. That's the... Our three favorite consoles ever period final EX plus for now. Director's Cut featuring Funky Kong.

[01:17:15] Oh God. But we will be back with our closing comments and recommendations right after this message. Hey Jerry. How do you feel about ink? Ink? Like incorporated? Or like ink? Like the black shit that comes in? Yeah. Like the black shit. The black shit? Not fussy. We use ink for a lot of things. Pens. Pasta, I guess.

[01:17:45] They have squid ink pasta. We're not talking about squids though. Hey, why don't you come on? Why don't you bring the whole family on down to Rancher Ahab's Octopus Farms? You know, we've got... We've got... Nine different breeds. Nine different breeds of octopuses. And we milk them for ink. We harvest their ink. The older to finest. That's right. The free range. No hormones. It's just good ink. It's just ink. All those tentacles are natural, baby.

[01:18:15] We just squish them and squeeze them. And they plop that ink out. And then we'll use it for books. Typewriters. What else do we use ink for? Shirts. Yeah. Yeah, shirts. Kindles. We squirted into those Kindles too. So we can look at our manga. That digital ink. Oh. Oh my God. What did you...

[01:18:44] I thought you were saying candles. I was like, what the fuck are you talking about? I'm in them octopus candles. Oh my God. Oh my God. Now, also, if you act today, you can get the all day hentai pass. And it's just tentacles for days. There's no ink. Just tentacles for days. You just... You can do whatever you want with those tentacles. You'll be in a secluded room. You can do whatever you want with those tentacles.

[01:19:14] That's totally up to you. It's your discretion. Your money. Your orifices. Your tentacles. Now, the only catch is Ahab has to watch. But you get used to it. You just tune him out. He's just over there. You just forget it. Licking his lips. Yar. Them tentacles be looking very salty today. Oh God. Rub his hands together. Rub his like one hand against his hook hand. It's like... Yo. Oh fuck.

[01:19:45] Yeah. Yeah. So... I mean... You know, I'm sure eventually we'll get better sponsors for this show. But... This is... This is what we have to work with. I mean... This is what we got. Thank God for Rancher Ahab and his octopus farm. Thank you Rancher Ahab for sponsoring this episode. Thanks Rancher Ahab. He's a quality guy. I'm telling you.

[01:20:15] Put them in your hole. The tagline is... Put them in your holes. Put ink in your holes. Two in the ink. One in the stink. I don't know. I think anyway. Oh shit. Jerry, come back.

[01:20:45] Closing comments. Now, as part of our show. Each show we're going to have a nice closing comments. And kind of like a nice recommended game. So... It's almost like a... Hey, if you haven't tried... We recommend you try this one. And... You know... Take our... Take our word for it. It's good shit. Aaron... Go ahead. Because I don't know anything about your recommended... Recommendated? Recommendated?

[01:21:15] Your recommended game. Your recommendation. Oh man. Oh man. Well, fuck man. Custom Robo. It's like... It's one of the few custom Robo games we've gotten in the US. It was on the GameCube. And... Bopping soundtrack. Gotta throw that in there. Bop. The soundtrack bops. Hoo dog. Who doesn't want a bopping soundtrack? Exactly. Why wouldn't you want a bopping soundtrack? You don't want a dumb soundtrack.

[01:21:43] You don't want some dude in the background going... Hoo hoo hoo. The entire gameplay. But... That was dumb. Yeah. Custom Robo is... How the fuck do I explain it? So... Is it like a... Like a strategy game? Ish? No, it's... Kind of ish. So in the future world of Custom Robo... Everybody solves their differences by battling with their Robos. They... They'll...

[01:22:13] I don't know how you explain it. They'll create a holiseum. And then... A holiseum? Yeah, it's like this holographic coliseum that comes out of nowhere. It just appears when you're like... Hey, I challenge you to a robo battle or something stupid. And then it just pops out. And then you fight with your Robos. And basically, like... The combat is... They'll be in this like enclosed area... With... Like different walls and other obstacles...

[01:22:43] In between you and the other robo. And basically, you just fight. There's like... You have... You have... I think five different parts to your robo. And that's kind of where the name comes in. Custom Robo. Because you can customize the fuck out of it. There's different like models of robos that have different stats. Like there will be heavier ones that have... More HP and more beef. But they're slower. Or like ones that are faster and lighter. But they have less beef to them. Then you pick different guns.

[01:23:12] Different bombs. Different legs. Whatever. That sounds cool as shit. It is. It's awesome. And like nobody's played it. But... So who... Like who is this game for? Like fans of what? If you like shit like Armored Core... I almost said Mech War... But I think that's the one that's like first person. Isn't it? It is. Yeah. Yeah. Because Custom Robo is third person. Right? I think. Yeah. It's like third... Kind of like...

[01:23:41] Over the... Like over the top a little bit. Top down almost. Kind of. Yeah. If you like Mech Warrior... If you like customizing mechs... And fighting in little like arenas... Kind of... Kind of almost like Bomberman... Then... Hmm. This is for you. And it's got a really cool soundtrack... And a cool like little... Little cool overworld... You can walk around in and explore and... It's great.

[01:24:11] And what console is this on? GameCube. Unfortunately. GameCube. What do you mean unfortunately? GameCube fucking kicks ass! I mean it is good. But like... They just don't... It's hard to emulate. So I guess... Yeah. If you don't have like a... A hacked Wii U... Or... A Wii... And you don't own it physically... And have a GameCube... It's... It's kind of hard to play now. But... If you want to... Try and do the GameCube. Yeah. Dolphin.

[01:24:41] Dolphin's the way to go. If you want to emulate. We'll definitely have more... On... The... You know... The GameCube setups and stuff... In the future. For sure. Absolutely. My recommended... I keep saying this... That's not even a fucking word! I don't know why I keep saying recommended... Recommended... Is it a word? I don't know. I bet it's not. It is now. Recommendated... Recommendations, man.

[01:25:08] The first thing I see... Someone wrote a review on TripAdvisor... And said... I highly recommendate this game... Or this fucking place. Highly recommendated... This is definitely... Yeah. That's not a word. So me and that other person thought that was a word. That's cool. There's at least one other person. So... Yeah. My recommendation... Yeah. For everyone to play... Is...

[01:25:38] A game that I was talking about earlier. Castlevania Legacy of Darkness. It oddly has... Like a weird... Souls-y... Like feel to it. Like... Almost like... Demon Souls-ish. Like early... Souls kind of stuff. But it's also like... Got some cool platforming... That's... Kind of challenging... But like... It's not unforgiving. Like save points are really... Really like... Good. Like it doesn't... It didn't feel too crazy. And again... I play this game without save states.

[01:26:08] So if I... If I can do it without save states. Fuck yeah. Yeah. It's totally doable. And again... This is a... A remake-ish... Of... Castlevania 64. So it is... It is essentially that game. Just with more content. And a lot of the problems of that game ironed out. And let me tell you... It's super fun. Really, really fun. It's not terribly long. I think if you check how long to beat...

[01:26:37] It's probably gonna take you like... Six hours. Maybe. No, it's not bad. And if you really wanna like... Complete everything. And like... Cause you unlock characters... After you beat it. Like... With the first guy... You unlock the next character. And that playthrough is totally different. It's like... It's almost like a speed run. In a way. And then... You unlock the next character. Which I don't really know what... Cause I... I mean I beat it with the main guy. And I was like... Cool. I'm out. But... Maybe... I mean my save file still... It's still there. So I can always go back and...

[01:27:07] Try it with... With the other... The other dude. But... Highly recommend it... For... You know... People that are into... Like hack and slash games... If you... If you... Were listening to this and said... Fuck yeah. These guys are talking about Mystical Ninja. Well... This is... Kind of like that too. Like it's just kind of like... Running around and... Slapping dudes. It's good. It's real good. I love slapping. Slapping's cool. Yeah. Slap the shit out of those... Skeletons. Fuck em. Fuck em.

[01:27:38] But... But... Anyway... That is the first episode of Retro Rehab. I really hope that... Whoever is out there listening in Listenerville... That you guys enjoyed this. There's gonna be lots more to come. Lots of cool stuff that we're gonna be doing. We have some YouTube content... That's gonna be coming out eventually. Don't know like a hard date or anything on that yet. In the meantime... Aaron... Where can the folks find you? If they wanna find me... Superpodsoger.com

[01:28:08] Hell yeah. Everything you need to know about me is on there. Except for my blood type. Not even I know that though. So... I don't know what mine is either. Oddly enough. For real. Yes. Yeah dude. I like to think I'm typo negative. I hope I'm like A plus. I don't know blood types. A minus. Just good blood. Really good blood. Got that good blood. Yeah. And then of course...

[01:28:36] You'll find me over on Super Ghost Radio. And all the Super Ghost stuff. But... I mean... That's... We're under that umbrella here right now. So... Yeah. You know... Go support Super Ghost. Go support Super Pod Saga. Both Super Podcasts. Ha ha. Ha ha. Um... In the meantime... Uh... Aaron has told me that he is going to... You know... He's gonna rehab himself and... And course correct. And he's going to try to stop buying...

[01:29:05] So many micro SD cards labeled one terabyte... That are actually just 256 megabytes... Full of hand tie off Teemu. Um... So... Buddy... I... I truly wish that you would stop doing that. So I... I do believe that... I do believe that you can get better. I do believe... You can get better. And I... I believe you're gonna... You're gonna continue your work... On a PhD as a Bill Cosby historian. Because... Uh... Man... Oh man... Man... Oh... That's... That's... That's rough. I wish you the best.

[01:29:36] Yep. I will work on that. All those sweaters... The Puddin' Pops? All the sweaters and Puddin' Pops? It's a wonder he didn't get his sweaters full of those Puddin' Pops. Fucking stayed to shit, dude. Just like his reputation. Oh shit. Rip Bill. Anyway... Yeah. Rip Bill. And uh... Thanks for listening. We'll catch you on the next one. Bye. Bye.