Bill's, like, shamedly drinking his Sam Adams. I mean, like, hope nobody sees me.
Bill:That's so... It's more like, I got a mustache hair in my mouth, I'm like, how do I do that?
Thrak:The trials and tribulations of facial hair.
Bill:That was like the big learning experience growing the beard where I was like, oh, right. This happens now all the time.
Thrak:Yeah. It's scratchy at first. Yeah. But you get used to it.
Bill:Just get fucking drinks in it and, you know, people are like, you know, you got a little something there. I'm just like,
Thrak:Eating soup is a nightmare.
Aaron:Dude, anything with syrup sucks. Anything like pancakes, French toast, and then your fucking face is all sticky and it won't come out no matter how much water you blast into your face.
Thrak:Getting the hydro into the bidet. Yeah.
Aaron:It's the AI bidet or whatever. It's bidet eye.
Thrak:It's an AI bidet?
Aaron:Yeah. Bidet I.
Bill:I'm sure there's a fucking bidet you need a Wi Fi connection to use because because, of course, there would be.
Thrak:You need to sign up for our secret club, the, you know, the bidet club.
Aaron:The bidet AI assistant?
Thrak:The daily splashers.
Bill:Yes. We swear there's no camera here.
Aaron:There's the fucking... There's, like, cartoony robot arms coming out of the bidet, like, helping you pee and stuff. Unzipping pants.
Thrak:Trying to spread your hole for you. Like, come on, buddy. We got you.
Aaron:Fluffing testicles. There you go, sir.
Thrak:OP. Still have a little shit out of your doo doo ass. You wanna... Do want me to finish the job?
Bill:Sir, you've been No. Sir, you've been browsing memes for twenty minutes now. Get the fuck up. No. This is my solace from work.
Aaron:Speaking to janky, you're listening to SuperPod Saga, the the one and only podcast. It's dedicated to exploring every fucking video game topic in existence one episode at a time. Except for this episode, there is no topic. There is no premise. We're just shit talking.
Chris:Yay. It's
Bill:a classic network crew reunion.
Aaron:Hell, yeah. It is.
Bill:Even though we all see each other, like, every week. Alright. All that's missing is Tommy.
Aaron:No. RIP, Tommy. RIP.
Thrak:Oh, he won't be available for another three hours. Yeah.
Bill:Oh, yeah. Don't don't worry. He's got time to record four podcasts.
Thrak:And, like, five parts of the playthrough.
Chris:Every time that I do a whatnot show, Tommy pops in trying to win the free giveaway. And my wife knows the joke that Tommy doesn't exist and he's real. And she keeps, like, jabbing at him being, like, you're not real. You're not gonna win this giveaway.
Chris:Like, why are you?
Thrak:Sometimes he gets upset. He's like, guys, could you, like, stop?
Bill:See, I just I
Thrak:I think he said that to me once. Like, I was joking with him. He's like, dude, you're hurting my algorithm. Stop. See, I just love algorithm.
Chris:Forget, but it was funny.
Bill:I love the fact that he's, like, retired, like, seven times. He just keeps coming back. Just starts a new podcast every time.
Thrak:Well, this show is no longer retired. It's it's back from its... I'm not gonna say death. I think that's too morbid, but, you know, hiatus, man.
Chris:Last whatnot show, I I purposely put 20 giveaways. Right? Just 20 giveaways so that he could win something. The same person won three times one after the other. Tommy didn't win shit.
Aaron:Oh, poor Tommy. He all... He loves those whatnot giveaways.
Chris:There was like one giveaway. As only
Chris:12 people were entered and he still didn't win the 12
Chris:people giveaway.
Thrak:Were those all games I sent you?
Chris:No. It... Well, all those games are gone. That's what the whatnot was for.
Thrak:Nice.
Chris:It was a bunch of Final Fantasy clickers.
Thrak:Oh, cool.
Aaron:Well, getting back to the intro. Hey, my name's my name's Aaron. I'm the host here of this whole damn thing. And before we get into it, listeners, do us a solid. Go to superpodsaga.com.
Aaron:Find everything there, including the Patreon or Ko fi, 2 or $4 a month. And you know what? That's it. Let's let's get into the guests. We've got three returning handsome, exuberant, vibrant guests.
Aaron:We've got Bill. We've got Thrak. We've got Chris. Hello, boys. I want you to fight to the death to see who gets to introduce themselves first.
Aaron:Go.
Thrak:What's up? Yeah. Go, Chris.
Chris:I would be able to try. Hello.
Thrak:Howdy doody. My phone's going off telling me to do this podcast. Hi. What up, bitches? It's it's Thrakington here, your your favorite Call of Duty podcast.
Bill:That's what Alex calls him.
Thrak:Yeah. I put this at the thrift shop. Yeah. I make misguided songs about feminism and racism.
Bill:I only know the one song.
Thrak:Well, time to shadows and the whole deep dive into Macklemore, so just go watch that instead. But... Yeah.
Aaron:Started Macklemore podcast. That's my new venture, dude. Fuck off.
Bill:I've got I've got the heist back there. I I got it for a dollar at a flea market.
Thrak:It's better than you think it
Chris:is. No.
Bill:It was it was an okay record. Yeah. I just... I was a dollar, and I'm like, I like thrift shop. Ew.
Thrak:I mean, basically, he's... He was an underground rapper who was never supposed to be... Got as big as he did. That's all. He was supposed to just stay underground.
Aaron:He's supposed to stay dead. Yeah.
Thrak:Walks into the club like, what up? Never knew
Chris:I never knew that baby no money could be such a hater.
Thrak:Well, I got no money. That's why. You're trying to manifest like me meeting him or something.
Chris:It's gonna be so weird. Holy
Aaron:shit. Thrak, please, God, tell us all about yourself and then what you do on the Internet. And then
Thrak:I I ship Hold on.
Aaron:Hold on. Tell us something that that you really like that other people might think is weird. Okay. Now go.
Thrak:Probably jazz music.
Bill:Oh, okay. That's cool.
Thrak:Well well, yeah. Or, I'll even listen free improvisation. I listen to lot of weird wacky stuff. Hell yeah. Yeah.
Thrak:That's fine. Yeah. I make people mad online. I'll get called a virgin here and there, which is great.
Aaron:By who?
Bill:Buy buy another virgin on Instagram.
Thrak:So so I made a comment on an Instagram post where somebody was talking about playing, like, the new Halo. Right? Yep. And they were like, oh, I've been playing Halo forever. And they were playing on, like, their three sixty, and now they're playing the remake on PS five.
Thrak:And I just said, well, I don't know. It's something about, like, loyalty. And I'm like, I don't know if switching from Xbox to PlayStation is loyal. And it's, like, almost 400 likes now, and there's a lot of comments of, like, people chit talking me
Chris:on there.
Aaron:I think it's hilarious.
Bill:You get the you get the one, like, you get the one loser who's, like, found the virgin, and I really wanted to respond. Pot calling kettle black.
Aaron:You should've just responded. You should've just copy and pasted his comment. Be like, guess I found the virgin or whatever. But
Thrak:but other than that, I... I'm on two podcasts. I cohost a three d o experience with Bill over here, which has been been a fun experience. Someone told me I should just straight up DM Trip Hawkins, and he'll respond. So we'll we'll see if I can work up the courage to do that.
Aaron:That'd be so cool.
Bill:Get everyone from the network to do it.
Chris:I feel Same time.
Thrak:Same time? Again, I'll try it one of these days. I mean, Gertzman said nothing to me, so who cares. Right? But I also solo host Call of Duty Thrak Ops, where I've been working my way through the Call of Duty campaigns.
Thrak:At the time of this recording, I'm up... World War two is the most recent episode. So, Black Ops
Chris:is the World War two.
Thrak:The best one of the World two, of course.
Chris:Yes. Was Infinite Warfare?
Thrak:Yes. I've had all three of you
Bill:on. It's great. Yeah. Yeah. He got me to play Call of Duty.
Thrak:Aaron was on for Modern Warfare three. Bill was on for World at War, and Chris was on for Infinite Warfare. So there we go. And and more guests will be coming as the episodes continue on. So...
Thrak:Yeah. Other than that, yeah, I I I play Sega Saturn and and listen to Art Blakey.
Aaron:Fuck. Yeah. That sounds like a hell of a night. Bill, please go ahead. Do the same thing.
Aaron:Tell us all about yourself, what you do on the Internet, and tell us something that, like, you... That you like, something that you think is is cool or that you like, but other people might think is weird.
Bill:Alright. Well, I have too many podcasts. I'm on three different shows. I do gaming collecting with my sister Alex, gaming anime based nostalgia podcast. I do three d o, of course.
Bill:Three d o nostalgia... Retrospective podcast where we go through all the different It's nostalgia. It's nostalgic to somebody. We go through all the three d o games, the console, the company, everything in between. And then I have Geek Addicts, a podcast I do with my buddy, Matt, where it's a basically pop culture podcast.
Bill:We talk about basically anything. And something that I like that's weird that that I like that everyone might think is weird anime, I guess. I don't know.
Thrak:Oh, you gotta dig a little deeper in that, Bill. Come on. Like sniffing copper or something. I don't know.
Aaron:Do you guys wanna know what mine is?
Thrak:Hang on. Yes. Bill first.
Bill:I mean, I'm I was... I'm a create... I'm a crazy video game collector, and I collect way too much shit in my house, if you couldn't tell.
Aaron:Alright. I'll accept it. Alright. Chris, it's your turn. Go.
Chris:My name's Chris. I host slash hosted a podcast called the novel console with my wife where we talk books, games, food, and stuff that caught our attention during the week. I need to play games for that so that I can bring it back. Because apparently, my wife wants to bring it back and she's like, let's record. Let's record.
Chris:It's like, I have nothing to talk about. I'm playing Yakuza Kiwami right now, and I have so much to say about it, but I have to finish it first. I'm also rewatching Dragon Ball Kai, and it is incredible. Now I understand why people hate Super, and Oh. It is a little bit I hate Super.
Chris:It's it's a little bit, you know, Super kinda deserves the hate. They they lost the the the the r farming. They lost everything. It's not as good as Kai. Kai is not as good as c, but, you know, I don't wanna watch 300 episodes of Dragon Ball c.
Chris:I wanna watch 200. So... Yeah. I also do console and stuff where I buy and sell video games online. Right now, I'm doing a huge push to get nothing but handhelds.
Chris:So Game Boy, Game Boy Advance, PSP, I'm counting the switch in it. So if you have any of that, please let me know. I'm always looking to buy that stuff and sell it on whatnot. Everything's starting at a dollar, which some Thrak comes in a lot and buys a lot of stuff. He also
Thrak:I didn't I didn't last time because I sold all the shit to you.
Chris:Right. There's nothing for you.
Thrak:Buy it
Chris:all back.
Thrak:But thanks... But also, he he gives you good deals on sales because, you know, the money he gave me, I am credit card debt free now.
Aaron:Nice. Right?
Chris:Right. And then the last time you
Chris:showed me stuff, I paid you during the recording.
Chris:You did. Paid you
Thrak:during the Thrak Ops. Yeah. Yeah. Go listen to that.
Chris:It's funny. And you use that to buy a a Game Gear instead of paying your debt. Like a true gamer.
Aaron:Oh, he just got it with an arm's reach.
Bill:Yeah. Of course,
Thrak:it's an arm's reach.
Chris:It's so cool.
Thrak:It's a clear shell. It's got a screen... Like a brand new screen. It's great. Yeah.
Aaron:Hell, yeah.
Bill:I love screen modding old handhelds because they just look so much better. It's almost uncanny.
Chris:Oh, and I have a a Game
Chris:Boy Advance with an IPS screen. It looks incredible. I I need to sell it, and I don't want to. I have a Metroid one that I need to put a new speaker on it, and I don't wanna sell it once it's fixed.
Bill:That's like my nomad. My nomad's got, like, a modified screen. It looks so nice.
Chris:Nice. Keep that ship.
Chris:Yeah. Something weird about me, I think drum and bass is amazing and no other music genre that serves to exist.
Aaron:Damn. Alright.
Thrak:Shit. I was with you in the first half, but...
Bill:Oh, I thought of something. I thought of a good weird...
Thrak:Alright, Bill. What you got?
Bill:My two favorite music genres are punk rock and progressive. To the two polar opposites of music. I fucking love it.
Thrak:We're not gonna sit here and talk about yes. Okay.
Chris:Billy Joel Armstrong and No. Not not Dave Portnoy.
Bill:Green Day is not Green Day. Everything after fucking Nimrod, I can't stand it.
Thrak:I'll say I like their first album quite a bit, but after that, I'm good.
Aaron:I used to fuck with holiday hard. Every time that came on when I was a kid, I was like, fuck yeah.
Bill:See, I like that holiday until I heard it, like, 30 times a day because it's all they play on the fucking radio.
Aaron:Yeah, dude. Yeah.
Bill:The amount of times I'd hear that fucking opening to Boulevard of Broken Dreams, I'd just be
Chris:like, stop.
Thrak:Oh, yes. It's into my brain. I can hear it right now. Alright, Aaron. What's your weird thing?
Aaron:Alright. I... I've I've been cooking this one in my brain for a while. I really love... So you...
Aaron:Like, a a brand new chapter of manga. As soon as I rip off the fucking plastic wrap, I take a deep whiff of those pages, dude. I love that shit.
Bill:You know what it means. It has a plastic
Chris:wrap, Aaron? You know what that means. Right? Why it... Why does it have a plastic wrap?
Chris:Because you
Aaron:buy it
Chris:brand new.
Bill:Oh, no. It usually... It doesn't usually come wrapped, Aaron. There's only two options when it's wrapped. It's either super gory or it's super porny.
Chris:Or both.
Aaron:I mean, I guess it is berserk. So... Yeah. It's Yeah.
Thrak:Yeah. That's fair. That's on
Bill:the gory spectrum, so you're safe. But but you have to always specify.
Thrak:I mean, mean, there are some... I don't know if I'd say porny bits, but, you know, there there are
Bill:some stuff that's there.
Chris:There's there's some porny bits. Yeah. The scene... But if Berserk
Thrak:just start off with with guts like balls deep in a lady who turns into like a dragon trying to kill him. So...
Aaron:Yep. Yeah. Berserk is all over the fucking spectrum.
Chris:That's that's that's
Bill:on the gory side of the spectrum. I know, but it's so good.
Aaron:Yeah. I love that shit. As soon as I rip off that fucking plastic wrap, we'll take a deep whiff of those pages. I I don't know why. I I love that shit.
Aaron:That new book smells
Chris:You know what also smells amazing? A brand new pack of cards when you rip open a booster pack, and you just get a whip. Yeah.
Aaron:That shit is gonna be like that.
Chris:It's like, it takes me back to Catholic school beating kids at Digimon with the little v pads.
Bill:Did you... See, I always... My favorite weird hobby like that was back in the day when you get a brand new video game, you crack it open, you just read the manual.
Aaron:Yeah, dude. Had a car ride back home.
Bill:That's something that children nowadays will never understand because we don't even have games anymore.
Aaron:Well, now you don't even need to be, like... There's no car ride back from the store to the house. Yeah.
Chris:No car ride. Cars don't exist anymore. You can do everything online.
Aaron:Have it all ordered for you. Fucking DoorDash, whatever the fuck you want. I have groceries delivered.
Thrak:I put an engine in my ass, so I don't need a car.
Chris:I just need them everywhere.
Bill:You still have the option that you could get an empty case that's worthless, but it looks nice on your shelf, I guess.
Aaron:That'd be cool.
Thrak:And they... And and and Rockstar have made billions already. Empty box.
Aaron:Dude, there was there was one time I
Thrak:Are are you guys gonna sub to Netflix for the extended look?
Aaron:At what? GTA
Thrak:six. They announced it today.
Chris:Oh, no.
Bill:I've already subbed to Netflix to watch anime. That's
Thrak:it. They're doing an extended look on Netflix. I forget what day it was. It's stupid. But it's gonna be on their YouTube channel six hours later.
Thrak:So what the fuck's the point?
Bill:I'm not even interest... Well, for a, for those rock star, like, fanboys who need it, like, immediately.
Thrak:Well, the one thing is we haven't seen gameplay. So it's like, I would be curious to see who it looks like gameplay. Why?
Bill:My my interest in GTA six was, like, this big to begin with, and now it's like, I I just don't give
Chris:a shit.
Aaron:I'd rather I could really tell. Fucking gun in my mouth than go subscribe to Netflix for that GTA six thing. I would rather
Thrak:You know, some assholes are gonna do that.
Chris:You know, Rockstar before was cool you would get Midnight Club and you would understand
Bill:When they released games
Chris:And
Chris:then you would playing and then you would figure out what the gameplay would be like, and then you would get the warriors and you figure out what the combat would be like.
Bill:Rockstar's released one game in the last... It's like two decades. One game. True.
Chris:Two games. GTA five and
Thrak:I was gonna say the
Bill:Red Dead. When did... Oh, yeah. Five was '13.
Thrak:Max... Yeah. Max Payne three, GTA five, Red Dead two.
Chris:Well, since it was before.
Thrak:Max Payne three was 2011, wasn't it?
Bill:2011. Yeah. Since GTA five, though, they've released one game.
Thrak:Red Dead two, which is...
Bill:Can can...
Thrak:I feel like Red Dead two has become the most overrated game of all time.
Bill:As it... I heard people say it's it's like...
Thrak:All I hear is people glaze the loving shit out of it. And I'm like, guys, I liked it, but I didn't think it was like that.
Bill:I remember the glazing like the first month it was out and then it it died off really fast.
Thrak:It's all I ever see is when people are like, objective 10 out of 10 games. Everyone's like, yes, sir, Red Dead two. I'm like, why?
Bill:Anytime I see the term objective 10 out of 10 game, I'm like, none of those games are 10 out of 10.
Aaron:No, dude. No. That shit's so fucking stupid.
Chris:I don't really think there is a 10 out of 10 game, to
Bill:be honest.
Chris:Give me... I need two. Two objective 10 out of tens.
Aaron:Two objective 10 out of tens?
Chris:Yeah. Give me two objective 10 out of tens, Aaron.
Aaron:I think Super Mario 64 is an objective 10 out of 10.
Bill:No. It's a good game, but it's it's jakey. That camera is
Chris:jakey.
Thrak:It has historical significance, which is important. But, I mean, I played through that game. I... I'll give it, like, an eight
Bill:and a with it. So I have, like, no nostalgia for
Chris:it. What's another one, Aaron?
Aaron:Don't say it. I'm gonna say Final Fantasy nine.
Bill:Okay. I I could argue that one, actually.
Thrak:Yeah. I haven't played enough to say one way or the other.
Aaron:There's nothing there's nothing bad about it. I I mean
Bill:The the praise seven gets should go to nine. That's all I'll say.
Thrak:Nine should have had the three part remake. Damn it.
Chris:Ray seven got when it came out and has gotten up to this point should apply to seven remake because seven remake is miles above and beyond what the original seven was. I hated seven, and I love the remake.
Bill:I can't stand the remake, but that... That's just because I don't like action. Okay. Bill. She's like that.
Chris:Two. Bill, give me two.
Bill:I don't really think there is an objective 10 out of 10.
Aaron:What... In your in your opinion, though. Yeah. Just in your opinion. You gotta have at least one.
Thrak:Tales of the Abyss.
Aaron:No. No. Tales of the
Bill:Abyss has problems. I love it, but it's got problems. Mainly, the main character is an unlikable piece of shit. The first, like, third of the game that's...
Chris:That's what makes it
Chris:a 10 out of 10.
Chris:The character Yeah.
Aaron:It's the character turning cheek in the latter fucking half or whatever of the game.
Bill:Development is the best axe... Aspect of the game. But my god, if it wasn't for the supporting cast, that game would be unplayable because he is so fucking unlikable first players in the game.
Aaron:Isn't that part of... I don't know. What about any any Pokemon game you think is a 10 out of 10?
Bill:No. Really? You're talking about, like, the most jaded Pokemon fan there is.
Aaron:Oh, man.
Thrak:I'll say I thought of one game that could be
Bill:I played
Thrak:a to an objective 10 out of 10.
Aaron:What's up?
Chris:Okay. I don't want one that's close. I want for you. What's two objective 10 out of tens?
Thrak:Well, then... Well, my first one, Pac Man.
Chris:Okay.
Aaron:Okay. I I could fuck with that.
Thrak:Pac Man is kind of a perfect little video game.
Chris:I would
Aaron:I'll take
Bill:Tetris. Tetris could
Thrak:be Tetris is a good one.
Chris:Yeah. Shining Force two.
Thrak:I was thinking SF two.
Aaron:Yeah. No qualms with that whatsoever.
Thrak:Well, was gonna say, you know, my personal favorite game of all time, Sonic three at Knuckles. I... Sonic three, I'd argue. Well, I've said it before. I think it's the peak of the Sonic series.
Thrak:I think it's arguably the peak of Sega as a company and and represents a a peak in two d platforming that, you know, it's had its peaks and valleys throughout the years. But I think Three and Knuckles represents peak, you know, way better than Super Mario World. Way better.
Aaron:Bill, I've I've got a 10 out of 10 for you.
Bill:Okay.
Aaron:Hear me out. Mother three. The music rules, the story rules,
Bill:the characters rules, combat rules.
Thrak:Myself, I would maybe agree. I... I've told you. I I soft locked myself into that game. How?
Bill:You might have a point.
Thrak:Because I grind. I got I got really far into the game, and I got to a point where I couldn't beat anybody because I was so underpowered. And so I stopped playing.
Bill:See, Mother three is is like an experience.
Chris:Like...
Thrak:It's great.
Bill:It, like, it literally does everything Earthbound did, but, like, better, in my opinion. The only downside to three is it's never officially been localized.
Thrak:I think Mother three is the better game, but Earthbound's the better experience.
Bill:Earthbound is... You'll... The problem with Earthbound is you either will love it or you will hate it. It is like... There is like no in between for Earthbound.
Bill:I I... Sure. Sure.
Aaron:Yeah. I guess that's true.
Bill:Yeah. Maybe Fire Emblem Awakening. I'd call that a game. I could feel like that's wrong with that game.
Thrak:No. I I
Chris:I thought it was a little bit too long there at the end, but, you know, it was, like, too long for maybe, like, three hours, but that's just my opinion. It was still...
Bill:Comparing it to, like, the the ones after it, though, I think it's perfectly... Well, other than Echoes, because Echoes is a remake. Echoes is so fucking good.
Aaron:Is Echoes.
Bill:Because, like, Fates is way too long, but Fates is also three fucking games. I love three... Like, Three Houses is my favorite in the series, but Three Houses, playing that game five times, that takes a lot out of you. You
Thrak:just play it once like me and be happy.
Bill:See, I played it during COVID. I had plenty of time.
Chris:Nothing else to do.
Thrak:So so are we all getting fortunes weave when that comes out? Mhmm.
Aaron:Fuck. Yeah, dude.
Bill:Already pre ordered.
Thrak:I have it pre ordered as well.
Chris:I guess I will.
Aaron:Chris, what
Thrak:are you? You're not excited about it, Chris?
Chris:No. Not really.
Aaron:Well, I wanna hear what Chris has for objective 10 out of tens.
Chris:Oh. Oh, easy. I'm sure Fox 60 Oh,
Aaron:Star Fox 64. Yeah. Okay.
Chris:Alright. Fox 64, 10 out of 10. And the other one, modern, lot of controversy when it came out, but now it's an objective 10 out of 10, Cyberpunk twenty seventy seven. I think that game is perfect. It is incredible.
Chris:It is.
Chris:Okay.
Chris:I think that if if they gave me to choose a game to delete from my memory and replay all over again, it would be that one.
Bill:Oh. I'm
Chris:not ready. And the the emotional highs of that game are incredible. The world is just... It it it... It's...
Chris:I I can't explain it. It's just an experience. It's not a game. It's an experience.
Thrak:It is a game that was able to shed the stink of that launch, which was one of the worst launches probably ever. And it was able to shed it. Like, people talk about it now with high praise.
Bill:Yep. You know?
Chris:I played it when they released the PS five version.
Chris:Mhmm.
Chris:So it wasn't even the two point o patch. So it still had jank. It wasn't completely perfect like it is now. And I still think it it... It's...
Chris:It was objectively a perfect game.
Bill:Did you play the original PS four release?
Chris:I started it the day before the past five.
Bill:That's wild.
Chris:And I didn't know that it was coming out. And once it download, I was like, holy shit. The gunplay feels different.
Bill:I remember I bought that game on a... In a bargain bin because it went bargain bin, like, within, like, a month.
Thrak:Oh, yeah.
Bill:I had the OG PS four version, like, before the the fucking updates, and, oh my god. Like, it was almost amazing how busted that game was when it first
Thrak:came That game should not have come out on PS four and Xbox one. That's No. Basically what it was.
Bill:That that game is, like, the most recent version of criminal overhyping, like, a video game.
Thrak:Oh, yeah. It got way overhyped back then. Absolutely. I mean I mean, Chris bought a copy for me to play. That's how much he liked the
Bill:fucking side. It's earned its hype now, but not when it came... Even when it was coming out, like, I thought the the hype was, like, a little ridiculous because I remember people acting like this could be the greatest game ever made, and I'm just like, guys, slow down. Well, I had... I hadn't played Witcher three out,
Thrak:so I didn't get the hype. You know? I was like,
Chris:I I don't think Witcher three is anywhere near as good as people say it is. It's a good game,
Thrak:but I've enjoyed what I've played of it.
Chris:It's it's like... It's a game of its time. Like, if you compare... If I were to compare it to anything, I would compare it to Arkham Knight. Like, it's that kind
Thrak:than Arkham Knight, though.
Chris:It's good, but it's not as incredible as people say it is.
Thrak:No. But that game is better than Arkham Knight.
Bill:Do people say Arkham Knight's incredible? I heard Arkham Knight is the janky one.
Thrak:Arkham Knight graphically still Quality wise, I feel like
Chris:they're both the same.
Thrak:Arkham Knight's too big. The story in a
Chris:way that works in three is
Thrak:too big. Arkham Knight is way too fucking big.
Bill:The story in Arkham Knight takes a nose dive too because you can really tell. You can tell Paldini
Chris:was Before not the game even started, you're like, this game story is gonna suck ass.
Thrak:Yeah. It's like the first person with the cop and all that. And you're like, who are the customers here?
Bill:The first trailer I saw with the Arkham Knight, all I had to do is hear one line of dialogue for me to go, that's Jason Todd. Like, that's Jason Todd. They're not even peace.
Thrak:Yeah. And they really tried to emphasize that, like, Batmobile stuff, which I thought was like...
Bill:Yeah. I didn't think was not that bad. I thought it was fun. Think it
Thrak:fine, but it it felt it it felt shoehorned in, though, because it was like they had to do something different. They couldn't just do Arkham City.
Bill:See, if you've played the Batman and Robin game on PlayStation one, you... Anything's better. Like, anything is better.
Chris:The Batman driving game also sucked. That was that was awful.
Bill:Oh, the Sega CD game? No.
Chris:The PS one one game. I don't know. It looks like a specific Batman driving game on PS one, and it was terrible.
Bill:I just remember Batman and Robin because that game is super long, and you get one hit point. And then it's game over.
Chris:It's Aaron, what you got in your hands?
Aaron:Oh, hey.
Thrak:This is objective 10 out of 10?
Aaron:Another objective 10 out of 10. Chrono Trigger, my Yeah. Light is all fucked But, yeah, Chrono Trigger is the...
Bill:Yeah. I'd argue if any Final Fantasy was gonna get that.
Thrak:Six?
Bill:Six or four.
Thrak:Yeah.
Bill:Four is like one of the most beginner friendly... Like Dragon Quest four, think, is an objective 10 out of 10. I love that game.
Thrak:Yeah. Like Four four is...
Bill:Dragon Quest four and five are like perfection of RPGs for completely different reasons. Yeah.
Thrak:Yeah. Eleven's also fantastic.
Bill:11 is.
Thrak:But it it it suffers from some of that RPG bloat.
Chris:Do you know which one's terrible? Eight.
Chris:I don't like Dragon Quest. Aw. It's cool.
Thrak:We we talked about that on his show.
Chris:You know it now.
Bill:Chris is like, I'm gonna drop like, the most unpopular opinion.
Chris:Okay. Okay.
Thrak:But eight could be a remake for sure, though.
Chris:In my defense in my defense, I am used to RPGs being like, this is the title. This story has nothing to do with the title. Dragon Quest a journey of the cursed king, everything has to do with getting the king to get back to normal. That's the entire story of the game. That's everything that happens.
Thrak:Yeah. Yeah.
Chris:I was waiting quest.
Chris:Dragon Quest
Chris:waiting when does it turn? When does it become high stakes? It it never really
Thrak:became get into the story. This is the story. Right?
Bill:Well, no. No. You're playing... In that case, you're playing seven.
Chris:That that game is fucking too long. Even the
Bill:PS one version of seven is.
Thrak:I'd say the newest remake trims it down considerably.
Aaron:Eight does get pretty fucking, like, Scooby Dooey because it'll be like, we need this item to turn the king back to normal, and then this dog will steal the the clown dude's wand.
Thrak:Yeah. But Dragon Quest was always, like, silly and cartoony. That's part of the appeal.
Bill:Dragon Quest four has the entire chapter where you just run a store, and it's amazing. Great.
Aaron:That chapter fucking rules. Don't you ever talk shit about Tornico.
Bill:I just I just said it was amazing, Aaron. Okay.
Chris:See, but the eight had these moments where they had like these fairy tale kind of storytellings with very melancholic endings and they were incredible, but the rest of the game is just like fucking flat Pabst Blue Ribbon.
Thrak:It... I feel like Dragon Quest is too plain for Chris.
Aaron:Oh, okay. Okay. Okay. New idea. What is...
Aaron:What... What's three games that, I guess, everybody else likes that you don't like?
Bill:Ocarina of Time.
Thrak:Every Zelda game?
Chris:That's not true.
Thrak:There are some Zeldas I like.
Bill:I just found Ocarina of Time boring. I like like Okay. Majora's Mask or Wind Waker, like, significantly more.
Aaron:Yeah. I like I like Wind Waker. I I guess I'm kinda with the whole Zelda thing too. I really only like Breath of the Wild and Wind Waker and...
Bill:A Link Between Worlds is like Yes. That one's style.
Thrak:Yeah. Still need
Bill:to play
Chris:that. Is a very good game.
Aaron:Haven't played that one. I also don't really give a shit about Dark Souls or Souls likes. Like, I Yeah. I like them. Like...
Thrak:I'm coming around to them.
Aaron:They... They're cool games, but goddamn it. Whenever anybody's like,
Chris:this is the greatest game ever fucking made.
Aaron:And they're foaming at the mouth because there's a new fucking souls like coming out. It's like, I I could care less, man.
Chris:Got my three. Yes. The last of us one. I hate the last of us one.
Thrak:See, I'd say last of us two.
Bill:Yeah. It's the last of us two.
Chris:I like... I feel like you did a
Aaron:lot of
Chris:stuff a lot different, and we played The Last of Us one, like, a year or two before in The Walking Dead, in Tall Tales The Walking Dead. That's The Last of Us. Why the fuck are we playing it? What a worse story.
Thrak:Because it says naughty dog on the cover.
Chris:Basically, anything from Rockstar, it's okay. So I'd I'd... No. And the third one, Street Fighter. I don't like Street Fighter at
Chris:all. Okay.
Aaron:Fair enough, man.
Thrak:Street Street Fighter's fine. I don't have a strong opinion about it. I was always more...
Chris:I got into Guilty Gear before I really tried Street Fighter and Street Fighter just seems like super slow, worst Guilty Gear.
Bill:I was like the king of fighters or like tech and more.
Aaron:Yep. King of fighters, tech
Thrak:and Valver.
Aaron:I really fucking love dead or alive. That's my shit.
Thrak:Dead or alive's fun.
Aaron:Dead or alive rules.
Bill:Fighting's good too.
Thrak:Fuck up, Bill.
Bill:Dude, that's like one of the the most... My rarest Vita game is like fucking beach volleyball games. And I found it at a fucking retro store for $5, it's apparently a $100 nowadays. Damn.
Chris:And it's
Bill:a shit game. It's
Thrak:not even... So are these like games I don't like or games I don't get?
Aaron:I guess a little bit of both.
Chris:And that people like and you know.
Bill:Well, doesn't have to be don't like either.
Thrak:Because because it's like I would put Stardew Valley on that list. I mean, I wouldn't say it's a bad game. It's just Okay.
Aaron:Don't feel like it's just not for you.
Thrak:It's like that in Animal Crossing. I'm like, I don't get
Chris:Yeah.
Chris:They're not for me. I I played Animal Crossing, put it, like, sixty hours into Animal Crossing, and I I don't like it. I still don't.
Thrak:Yeah. Like like, I mean, I would say, like, I don't think GTA five is a good GTA game. I really don't. But, know I say four is really bad. Four four is my favorite, though.
Bill:I still like Vice City is the only one I really enjoy going back to.
Thrak:Oh, a a game everybody, like, lost their shit over and I didn't like it as much. Mina the Hollower.
Aaron:I guess that's true. Yeah.
Thrak:Your recency bias. Yeah.
Bill:I didn't like Shovel Knight that much.
Thrak:Yeah. I mean, Mina was fine, but like everyone...
Chris:I like Shovel Knight. I don't like how long it is.
Thrak:I I thought Shovel Knight was fun.
Chris:I don't... I think Shovel Knight was a bit too long for what I wanted to do.
Thrak:Yeah. That I would agree with. Just trying to...
Bill:So this one... I got one that's a little controversial and I... It's not I don't it's not because I don't like the game. It's more just because I don't understand why people love it the way they do. I've never I've never really gotten Persona three.
Bill:What? I've I've tried. I I think it's because I played four first.
Thrak:Just think do it.
Aaron:I guess that makes sense. Yeah. Because three is more about the, like, darker tone and
Bill:It's not even the darker tone. I just don't like the way that game's structured.
Aaron:Oh, it's Targeras and shit?
Thrak:I'll say reload is is solid.
Bill:I I've liked reload more. I think it's just... It's a case of I like Forest Sunshine and Rainbows and like... Yeah. The characters
Thrak:we play. And and I think the problem with Persona three is that there is no definitive version of that game.
Bill:That's another problem.
Aaron:That is fucking messed
Chris:up.
Thrak:Which makes it hard to be like... I mean, just play reload and you're fine. Don't don't listen to these FES dickheads who can't help themselves, you know.
Aaron:I will say that Inaabaugh is... I fucking love Inaabaugh. That is such a cool...
Bill:Well, because it's so small, but it's full. Like, it's small enough that you can't get lost. Because that's something I hate about. I love five, but the fucking subway in five is so fucking big sometimes. I'm like, yo.
Bill:Where the fuck am I going? Yeah. And three, the city I was never huge on. Inaba is so, like, nice and compact. Like, you never get lost.
Bill:You always know where you're going. Even on those stupid fetch quests where you gotta fucking gather information, you'll find it eventually because the town is not that big.
Aaron:And it's cozy. Like, they have little Little
Bill:signs of love and heartbeat heartbreak, like, just listening to those as you walk around.
Thrak:What an amazing soundtrack. Oh. A game I did not like when I played it. I was Witcher two.
Aaron:That's fair. That game's fucking weird.
Thrak:Yeah. Yeah. See, I'm just looking through, like, my ratings of games. I'm trying to see what sticks out.
Bill:One big one
Aaron:one big one for me is I think I think the... One of the biggest reasons I can't get into Persona is the combat feels not as challenging as...
Thrak:You're an SMT, bro.
Aaron:That's your problem. It's not the same, though. It's not like...
Thrak:It's not the same.
Bill:You gotta play very hard mode. Maybe the game could ask you if you hate yourself.
Aaron:Maybe I do. Maybe that's
Chris:what I do. You can
Thrak:crank the difficulty on personas. I'm used
Aaron:to I'm used to, like, Nocturne and four beating my ass over and over, and I have to, like,
Bill:make solid combos. But...
Aaron:Yeah. Fuck. Maybe that's what I do need to do is just crank it. Crank my
Bill:my persona You play golden on very hard mode. The game will straight up ask you, do you hate yourself? And then you start playing. That's the description for very hard mode in Persona four Golden. It straight up is, do you hate yourself?
Aaron:Yeah. That's what I might need to do then.
Bill:Trying to think. Tale... Tales of Symphonia, I've never gotten the love for.
Chris:But I've played this to be there.
Bill:Well, it's also... You... The... That's the problem with the Tales series is the newer you play, the harder it is to go back. Like, especially post Symphonia.
Bill:Because once you play Abyss and you have access to free running, it is so hard to go back to no free running.
Chris:I mean, do you get free running eventually?
Bill:But it's not as broken. Like, you can you can do, like, fuck ass shit in Abyss with the
Aaron:Fuck ass shit.
Bill:There's there's hopeless boss fights in Abyss that you're supposed to lose, but you can win them with free running if you're good enough.
Chris:I gotta go back. I gotta play Abyss. And I I wanna play Symphony again so bad and Eternia.
Bill:Oh, yeah. Chris, did you see that they're re releasing the Abyss anime before a remaster of the actual game?
Aaron:That's so fucking weird, dude. It...
Thrak:It's because they don't have an HD version they can do a quick remake and port of and call it a day. That's why.
Aaron:Oh, speaking of Tales, I I started a little bit of Tales of Grace's f, and that game is kinda cool. The combat is really fucking sweet.
Bill:Chris Chris doesn't like it. Grace's... I don't like I don't like it.
Aaron:Well, fuck me then. Never mind. No.
Bill:No. Aaron. Aaron. That's my second favorite Tales game. So you're in good company.
Aaron:Fuck you, Chris.
Bill:When we did the Tales episode way back, like, that was, like, our one point of contention. It was about it.
Chris:Yeah. The the the... I don't like the combat. I also don't like the characters. That...
Bill:That's basically it.
Chris:It's the the entire game. Don't I don't like the entire game.
Bill:Everyone is kind for, like, the first, like, while except for except for... What's her name? Sophie. She's, like, the only non non dickhead, but that's because she has no, like, personality at
Aaron:the time. Is that the pink haired girl you meet at the beginning who doesn't know who she is or whatever?
Bill:The mysterious, like, space wreath, as the internet likes to call her.
Aaron:Oh my god. Bill, have you have you started Kabuto Park yet for that game?
Bill:I'm gonna... This weekend.
Aaron:Chris, are you are you gonna play Kabuto Park with us?
Chris:Probably not. Are you
Bill:gonna Kabuto It's short.... On sale on Steam.
Aaron:It's short and it's...
Thrak:Yeah. It's like three bucks.
Aaron:Yeah. It's like two or three hours long.
Chris:We'll see. Probably probably not because right now I'm I'm... Damn it. I'm thirty hours into Yakuza Kiwami.
Bill:Another game that I despise that apparently a lot of people love. I fucking can't stand Apollo Justice Ace Attorney. That is my... One of my least favorite games of all time.
Aaron:That's the one I haven't played yet, actually.
Bill:Like, everything about that game pisses me off except the soundtrack. Like that...
Aaron:Soundtrack is fucking good.
Bill:It's a good soundtrack.... The only part about that game that I like. Everything else about that game pisses me off so much.
Aaron:You know, what I... Something I've never fucking beaten that I really want to beat somebody. I've never beaten Shenmue before because I always get to, like, the the dockyard, like, job area, and I hate that shit so much. It's so boring.
Thrak:What? You don't like forklift racing?
Aaron:Everything up until that point is a fucking breeze. But then you get to the... Like, look for this guy in this area in the dockyard. And I'm like, no.
Bill:I'm looking for sales.
Thrak:That's so good.
Aaron:Ask Chinese people about Chinese.
Thrak:See, feel like Shenmue two. I I I... I've beaten one. Two, I kinda fell off of.
Bill:Shenmue is a series that, like, the I entire
Thrak:series feel with two, they weren't really... They're like, okay, you're in Hong Kong now. What do you do? Motorcycles. You gotta go to jobs and work.
Thrak:And I'm like, what the
Chris:fuck? How go to work?
Thrak:No. See, I think there's, like, that's, like, a whole thing because,
Bill:you know Well, that was the point of Shenmue. It was a free... The the genre that you Suzuki described as was free, where you're basically... You're you're you're living a life while also solving your dad's murder.
Thrak:Yeah. Was it full real exploring environment or something stupid like that?
Bill:Yeah. It was supposed to be a six part series, and it's... We'll we'll be lucky if we ever get a fourth.
Aaron:Goddamn, dude.
Thrak:I'm waiting for that three port.
Bill:When the third game ended on another cliffhanger, I think the Internet almost fucking
Thrak:Oh, it's literally right here. It's called full reactive eyes entertainment.
Aaron:Eyes entertainment? What?
Thrak:That is a... That's what it says in the front of the manual. Go wherever you wanna go. See whatever you wanna see. Investigate whatever you wanna investigate.
Thrak:Here, the passage of time is realistic.
Bill:Shenmue's a game that, like, is, like, perfect in its bubble.
Thrak:Oh, yeah.
Bill:Don't think it would be good if it will... If it was, like, a concept that came out nowadays. But when you look at it as, like, that Dreamcast game that was just, like,
Thrak:that. Shenmu Shenmu is sort of, like, the perfect representation of the Dreamcast as a whole. Like, very ambitious, very influential, and clearly is like an important game in the legacy. But at the time, it just really wasn't what people were wanting. Like, it just wasn't enough.
Bill:So... Was the most expensive game of all time, like Yeah. To make when it came
Thrak:out initially. And and if they had sold... I think it was like two copies for every Dreamcast, it still wouldn't have broke even.
Bill:Oh. Damn, man. The Dreamcast was such a sad story. Like, by the end, they couldn't even give the damn thing away. I know.
Aaron:That sucks because there's so many fucking good games on it. Yeah.
Thrak:Oh, yeah. It's an amazing console.
Bill:The Dreamcast is the little console that everyone wishes didn't fail. Like, it's the one failed console people, like, have like a super soft
Thrak:spot for. It it... It's just because Saga was just too deep in the hole, and really, the things they would have had to have done to make it more competitive with like Sony and everything, they just didn't have the money. Like one of the reasons it couldn't play DVD movies was they just didn't have the money to license the DVD player, you know, hardware for the Dreamcast. They just didn't have the money for it.
Thrak:So that's why they went the proprietary route to save money with the GD ROMs.
Bill:They also... You know? No one really thought DVDs were gonna kick off the way they did.
Thrak:No. But, you know, it it it it's one of like the reactive things people look at with the Dreamcast. Like, they should have done this, they would have been fine. Think
Bill:No. They wouldn't.
Thrak:I I think the problem was they were just
Bill:The Dreamcast was DOA, to be honest.
Thrak:They were just... They were two in the hole. I mean, there's dead or alive on it. But it it was just it was too deep in the hole, and so they had just burned way too many bridges at that point, and they just couldn't... They they couldn't do it.
Thrak:It it was just kind of that point. The Dreamcast was our Like, didn't trust him.
Bill:Before it was even a thought. Like, it was dead before it even was made.
Aaron:Yeah. Yeah. I wonder how much money they lost on the 32 x and then the fucking Saturn because
Thrak:Not... I mean, yes, money was money was there too, but also it was just losing consumer trust. Because they were just kind of shuffling through this hardware at such a quick rate that people just were like, why am I gonna buy this hardware and buy games for it when in a couple months you're gonna drop it for something new? Like, what's... Like, why would I support this, you know?
Bill:Especially because like the Saturn... Like, the 32 x and the Saturn are so fascinating because, literally, Sega of America was creating the 32 x with no knowledge that the Saturn was gonna ever be a thing. And then after they finally get it, like, put together, Sega's like, oh, yeah. By way, Saturn. And basically, it was like because Japan and fucking America hated each other, like, so much.
Thrak:Yeah. Japan was jealous that America took the Mega Drive and made it more successful over here. And then they... And they basically were willing to, like, sacrifice their reputation to show Sega of America that Japan was the true boss. And that's basically what happened with the Saturn, was that, no, you're gonna listen to us.
Thrak:I don't care, you know, what the fuck you guys think, you know? Because they didn't wanna do the surprise launch of the Saturn in May '95. They wanted it to be in September '95 or even push it to '96 because the Genesis was still selling super well over here. But Japan's like, no, fuck that. Because the Mega Drive didn't do super well in Japan.
Thrak:So they were like, ready to go for Saturn. You know?
Bill:Sega was also, like, always just, like, the victim of, like, the worst timing. Like, because when they were, like, developing... When they were developing the Nomad, like, the Nomad was a kinda cool idea the entire time. Because at the time, the Game Boy was kind of like a fad that was over. And
Thrak:Yeah. It was that period between the launch and and Pokemon. Yeah.
Bill:And, like, right when they got the Nomad launch, Nintendo was like, here's Pokemon. And basically, the Nomad was like, no. Everybody died after that. So
Thrak:Yeah. Is what it is. And now everybody hates Pokemon.
Bill:No. No. Everyone hates Pokemon, but we'll still line up to buy it.
Thrak:Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And and then they'll use their visceral hatred for Game Freak to shit on, like, the non Pokemon games
Chris:they're making.
Chris:Yeah. They did it to themselves. Pokemon should be in a way better place than it is right now.
Thrak:It should, but I don't think that's Game Freak's fault. Not a 100%, though.
Bill:They do they do a a decent job with, like, probably the miniscule budgets they get for these games.
Thrak:Basically, the the the fault of Pokemon's lack of quality, it's it's just a combined thing of, like, Nintendo, Game Freak, Creatures Inc, like, real eye...
Bill:I don't think Creatures actually does much to
Thrak:but still, like, having the cyclical nature of Pokemon where stuff's always coming out, like, at, like, a Madden rate. Right? And then people line up and buy it regardless anyways, and they get huge returns. So they're like, yeah, why do we need to put in the crazy effort if people are gonna show up and buy it regardless anyways? Like, what does it matter?
Thrak:You know, they'll bitch online, but they'll buy three copies of it. So what do we care?
Bill:They'll line up and be like, yes, please.
Thrak:Yeah. Yeah. The... Yeah. Pokemon fans are the the bratty subs of video gaming.
Aaron:That's me. I'll buy it. I don't hate it. Fuck them.
Chris:Fuck everyone.
Thrak:You're looks allowed you're allowed to like it. I just just... I just don't get it.
Bill:It's like, that looks terrible. I need both versions.
Thrak:There we go. That that's the the game. It's like, don't get it. It's Pokemon. I just...
Thrak:I don't get it.
Bill:I know. I'm convinced that Nintendo still... They've been getting the same budgets that they were getting for the DS games today. And like Oh, probably. Yeah.
Bill:It shows it shows at times.
Aaron:I don't know, man. They're making some pretty good shit nowadays. Like, fucking Sony and Microsoft, they're both kinda burning to the ground, like, just burning themselves to the ground.
Bill:Well, yeah. They're in a competition of who can have the worst PR.
Aaron:Like, I was I was listening to the new FineTime earlier today and I was like, fuck. Yeah. You know what? They make a good point. Yeah.
Aaron:Those two were, like, busy burning themselves to the fucking ground, but Nintendo was like, here's fun games. We're just over here making games that be fun, yo. And then... Where? Donkey Splatoon Raiders.
Aaron:Was...
Bill:It was so awesome. Donkey
Chris:Kong so bad compared to...
Thrak:Donkey Kong, I I was disappointed by.
Aaron:I thought it was good.
Bill:Trucking Donkey Kong was a great concept, but it just... It it doesn't hold that... The same, like, impact that Odyssey did.
Thrak:I That should have been a vertical slice, not a full game.
Aaron:I think they're all crazy. Donkey Kong
Thrak:Raiders was good, though.
Chris:Will was like, oh, play the the the post game. The post game is incredible. It's like, I'm not I'm
Chris:not doing that. I'm I'm not...
Chris:Like, I struggled to finish this fuck ass game.
Thrak:I didn't even beat it. I... After a few hours,
Chris:I was done. Mario Kart world. How many
Bill:people are gonna start
Chris:a war? Weird. And we're so fucking bored playing Mario Kart world.
Aaron:I'm not. See, I really fucking love Mario Kart world. Everybody's crazy. Everybody's crazy but me.
Thrak:See see see, we need to lose. Well, we need to play this with Aaron to, like, you know, maybe we'll meet halfway. Exactly. But I do agree
Bill:with Voidcast. Is ridiculous.
Thrak:But I will say, I agree with the fine time boys.
Chris:Eight, and we had an amazing time playing Mario Kart eight. We were like, why would we ever play world when eight exists?
Aaron:I mean, it could... I don't know, man. I don't know. Eight has better tracks. Eight feels just like...
Aaron:They were just like, let's cram everything past Mario Kart into this with no clear direction as to what the fuck we wanna do with this. Let's just mishmash it all together into one fucking thing. But, like, the world is this one idea. Like, they want it to be this big old road trip. You know, you road trip of one...
Aaron:From one track to the next, you road trip to the next one, the next one.
Thrak:And then just like not... The knockout tour mode. That's what it is.
Chris:Knockout tour.
Aaron:And and the Grand Prix. They also have the Grand
Thrak:tour is the best part of world.
Aaron:I like And you also do the Grand Prix where you start a one track, and you drive the short road to the next one, and then so on and so forth. I like that shit.
Thrak:I think, again, I like the concept. I just think it's a little half baked.
Aaron:I don't know. That's my favorite game of Blast Cast here.
Bill:Want justify it.
Thrak:Yeah. I just have a bad feeling, like, in ten years, we're gonna be like, oh, world has all this content now and it's great. It's like, well, good. But like
Chris:I doubt it.
Thrak:Do we have to wait ten years for this fucking thing?
Chris:I doubt it.
Thrak:But I do say, I I played through Splatoon Raiders. I really liked it. As a guy who's not a Splatoon fan, I thought Raiders was a good time.
Aaron:I also would like Kirby air riders. I think that was an awesome fucking game too.
Thrak:I don't like air ride. I I didn't even like GameCube air ride.
Bill:Dude, you gotta play the
Aaron:new one. There's so much more.
Thrak:I did play air riders with with junior. Junior loves it. And I was like I was like, you can keep it, dude. I don't get it.
Chris:The Hyrule Warriors game is great, but it's because it's nonstop pure warriors gameplay and Selda has a lightsaber. Selda's a Jedi in the game.
Aaron:Hell, yeah.
Bill:I like the game.
Chris:I beat it all the way through and I did all the extra side content, and I think it's one of the best warriors released in a long time. Even though I find the calamity and breath of the wild timeline to be absolutely fucking dreadful.
Thrak:Which high rewards are you talking about? There's, like, three of them
Chris:now.
Aaron:I think he means the first one.
Chris:The new one.
Chris:Oh, fuck me.
Thrak:Was the age or
Chris:something?... Bristol man?
Thrak:Sure.
Chris:Yeah. The one we're sold that goes into the past and she becomes a Jedi and then at the end of the game, she becomes a dragon.
Aaron:Hell yeah.
Thrak:Sure. Why not? Sure.
Chris:It was great.
Chris:That that one was great. And fucking what's his face isn't in it, which is great. See, Don. Mhmm. Yeah.
Chris:Fantastic game.
Thrak:Again, I... I don't think
Chris:they've done anything else. Star Fox was great, but I want more because that's not enough.
Bill:Forgot that. I already I already forgot those.
Thrak:I think I just get a little bit of cognitive dissonance when people talk about how, like, you know, like Nintendo is the best of the three or whatever when it's like,
Bill:We just we just know that they're fuck... Fuck ass company. So we've just got these guys.
Thrak:People say that, but then they're just like, you know, oh, what first party games are on the Switch that really excite me? And people are like, I don't really know. It's like people just like they've fallen in love with Nintendo as an idea, as like a concept. Right? But I feel like they're not delivering as much as they maybe have in the past or maybe even they should, you know?
Thrak:Yeah. And I and I think that's kind of the issue because, you know, they see like Sony and Microsoft doing their, you know, fuck ass shit. And they're like, oh, well... And then Nintendo's more subtle about the fuck ass shit, you know? They're not very blatant about it.
Bill:Well, we're just all aware at this point.
Thrak:That's why... But I think that's why some people have convinced themselves that, you know, it's like if if you were to rank them, they probably are the least worst of the three, but I don't feel like that's saying much in the grand scheme of things. You know?
Aaron:I don't know.
Chris:They really pissed me off with
Thrak:the industry would be better if Saga's were still making hardware. Oh my god. But y'all would hate me. I'd be I'd be really annoying Sega fuck boy.
Bill:Which which company is more evil? Nintendo or Disney?
Aaron:Disney. Disney. Disney. Disney. Absolutely.
Aaron:Yeah.
Thrak:I'd say Disney.
Bill:Yeah. They're both they're both on that level, but Disney...
Thrak:It... Nintendo, it's on a bit of a smaller scale.
Chris:They hire teenagers fresh out of college and promise them the Disney princess life, right, to work at Disney and do the college program. And then they fill the whole boys dorms with a bunch of gay boys so the girls can't really find a boyfriend and lift their Disney princess life. That's pure evil on Disney's part.
Bill:I was just gonna talk about how if you die at a park and you signed up for Disney plus, you're fucked.
Aaron:Oh, I forgot about the What
Thrak:happened to that? Did they take him to court?
Bill:Yeah. I think he got paid to shut up or go away, basically.
Aaron:Wasn't that, like, wasn't that some dude who had, like, a food allergy or
Bill:he No. His wife his wife had a food allergy. She died at the park. And because they had signed up for the free trial in the terms of service, there was a thing that basically said, you can't sue us no matter what. But apparently, nowadays, in most, like, courts of law, the terms of service isn't even binding because they've they've just basically come to the termination of nobody reads this.
Bill:It's not binding.
Thrak:Yeah. Well, it's not legally binding in any way. Like, there's no contractual anything about it. Yeah. Like, there never was.
Thrak:Yeah. Like...
Bill:That was like the most evil from the Disney recently and I was like, jeez. I think that was
Chris:bad. Mhmm. So this this needs to work. It's it's pretty fucking bad.
Thrak:Everything sucks. So we try to hold on to what we have, you know.
Chris:I think a couple of... Was it a couple of months or a year or two after I moved? There was a shooting in Disney Springs. And the only way people found out was because people inside Disney Springs were tweeting about it. And Disney was like, oh, nothing's wrong.
Chris:There was just a fire. Meanwhile, there's bullets flying everywhere in Disney Springs. Jesus.
Bill:Why? The happiest place on Earth. Right.
Aaron:It's the most magical place on Earth, Bill.
Chris:Those magical I've I've never been to Disney, so I wouldn't know.
Chris:I've never been
Aaron:there either. Yeah.
Bill:I I I think I'm hard. See the... I see Disney adults, and I just go, I'm good. I don't need to go there.
Chris:Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Thrak:It it's cringey, but I'm like, you know what? If it if it makes you happy and there's so many little few things in life that make people happy, I don't fucking care. You know? Go go for know? Know what?
Thrak:Embrace the cringe. Alright? Like, whatever cringey shit you like that makes you happy, fucking embrace it. Who cares, man? Yeah.
Thrak:Like, these Gen Zers have no fucking concept of shame. Alright? So let's... Who cares? Right?
Thrak:Go for it.
Chris:I mean, like, if you're gonna be a Disney adult, that's cool. The part that I don't understand is why are you gonna be outside in Florida?
Chris:Florida can be awful.
Chris:It's a
Aaron:fucking... See, that's the real problem.
Chris:My problem with it, it's not being a cringy Disney adult. It's why are you gonna be outside in Florida voluntarily?
Bill:Goddamn. That's a whole point. Because because Chris, they're they're the New Englanders that have migrated south for the summer. So it's gonna work for the winter. I don't know.
Thrak:What are the seasons?
Bill:I... That's a thing up here. Like, we have, like, all these, like, summer people that migrate to Florida for the winter. And then when winter comes, they migrate back north.
Aaron:Dude Florida just sounds
Thrak:like a shithole.
Aaron:Whenever I see, like, whenever I see a license plate from literally any other state in Iowa, I'm like, why the fuck are you here? Like, I'll see one from New York or, like, California or Oregon. Be like, why the fuck come to Iowa? What are you doing here?
Thrak:Have you seen all 50 state license plates?
Aaron:I think I have... I've never seen a New Hampshire plate.
Bill:That? It's it's boring. It's green. That's...
Aaron:I've never ever seen a plate from Delaware either. I think...
Chris:Don't what
Bill:that one looks like.
Chris:Kinda weird.
Thrak:See, around me, I have seen Alaska plates and I've seen Hawaii plates.
Bill:See.
Thrak:And both times, I'm like, why? Because How did you... Alaska... Well, Alaska, you can drive all the way down, but it's like, what the fuck? Hawaii, you have to, like, put your car on a boat and bring it over.
Chris:It's What the fuck is it? One of those people Get out of the Midwest.
Bill:Or it's somebody who's dodging taxes the wrong way and has a No way.
Thrak:I mean, I've been to Hawaii. I wouldn't be surprised if there were some fucking idiots like that around there.
Bill:Dodging taxes. Fucking Hawaii place. That's all I'm saying.
Thrak:You know what's you know what's a part about Hawaii that I thought was great? That, like, chickens are like squirrels out there. Like, literally, you'll just walk out the front door, and there'll just be a bunch of chickens that just come around a corner. They're just like hanging out. They're like, don't feed them.
Thrak:Don't feed them. They'll never I
Bill:thought of a great
Thrak:Well, yeah. Use some
Chris:chickens everywhere.
Bill:License plate tier list.
Aaron:Oh, that'd be a fucking good one.
Bill:We should do that. Still license.
Thrak:Are we are we gonna use our license plate?
Bill:Well, no. We just tier license. We we just tier list all of them.
Aaron:All 50 state or fifth... Fifty fifty one or 52?
Thrak:50.
Bill:50.
Thrak:It's just... It should be 52.
Bill:Chris, Puerto Rico have, like, interesting license plates?
Aaron:Or
Chris:It's white. It has one of the lookouts from El Morro, which is the fort.
Bill:It's already more interesting than most of the license plates in America. That's right.
Thrak:It's a little dehydrated at the moment.
Aaron:I wanted to sign my own license plate with, like, with... It's just all Digimon on it. That'd be cool. Like, all hail Iowa.
Thrak:It's just a giant crow.
Bill:Oh. That's like vomiting out...
Thrak:That's vomiting out the numbers.
Aaron:It's a... It says Iowa.
Bill:It's it's hilarious because Iowa. Up in Connecticut, we see, like, every alt... There's license plates
Aaron:Connecticut?
Bill:Fucking country. Oh. Because Connecticut is literally the truck stop of America. Like, there's no person Well, shit. State
Aaron:Iowa is the truck stop of the world, motherfucker. We're in the middle.
Bill:Aaron, you guys have corn. You have a... At least a definitive, like, thing. Connecticut has nothing. Like, Connecticut is literally the most I picked up milk in Connecticut.
Bill:Identity.
Aaron:Well, Chris?
Chris:I picked up milk in Connecticut once when I drove semis.
Chris:This looks like a good
Aaron:state to get milk in.
Chris:It's the milk state. No. It's not.
Bill:It's it's just America's truck stop.
Chris:It's just
Bill:a place you happen to go through, and some people live there.
Thrak:What's deal? You live there, Bill?
Bill:Because it's cheaper than Massachusetts. Yeah. Sound... What about Rhode...
Thrak:Is Rhode Island cheaper?
Bill:Not really. Connecticut is, like, the cheapest stuff,
Chris:I think. Peter Griffin's there and his channel.
Aaron:Oh, we haven't done a fucking Family Guy thing yet.
Thrak:We touched the thermostat.
Aaron:You guys are stupid. So then we're looking for army guys.
Thrak:Hey, Peter. My thing went off. Your thermostat okay? Hey. Is Mike it over here?
Thrak:False alarm.
Aaron:Peter, I'm holding iced tea.
Thrak:Holy crap. He's a crapple.
Chris:Diarrhea. The
Bill:horse is here.
Aaron:Oh my god. What's... So you know how, like... Was it Georgia is the peach state or whatever? And then Sure.
Aaron:New Mexico is, like, the the the magic state or state of magic or the land of magic. What's Connecticut's thing? Is it just like...
Bill:It's Connecticut. Nothing. We have nothing.
Thrak:The only thing I know about Connecticut is that WWE's headquarters are in Hartford, Connecticut.
Bill:I live here, and I didn't know that.
Thrak:Yeah. That's all I know.
Bill:Oh, I think we're the constitution state.
Thrak:That doesn't fucking mean anything.
Chris:I don't know.
Thrak:It's like an RPG stat.
Bill:Our welcome sign is so fucking lame too. That's another great that's another great thing. The well... The state welcome signs are, like, the most funny thing ever because some of them are so ass.
Aaron:It's Connecticut. There you go.
Bill:What are you doing here? Passing through, I see.
Thrak:Dude Connecticut, about fifty minutes to Massachusetts. Hang in there.
Aaron:I was was talking with with Dave Jackson in an episode we did, like, last week or the week before. We were talking about all the different gas stations they have in the Midwest. Iowa has, like
Thrak:Two fucking many. Jesus Christ.
Aaron:Yeah. There's well, we have the world's largest truck stop that... Which has a... It has, like, fucking five different restaurants in it. It's got, like, a full...
Aaron:Like, a million showers in it, full bathrooms. It's got all sorts of, like, knickknacks and garbage you can buy in it. And I was like, dude, the real reason you go there is to buy that $5 the $5 patty melt. Holy shit. That thing is so good.
Aaron:Go drive an hour out to get a gas station patty melt.
Bill:Despite Connecticut being the truck stop of America, we don't have fun gas stations up here. We should have Wawa?
Chris:We don't have buggy.
Bill:No. We don't. Those are self.
Thrak:See, no. I I looked up Connecticut's the nutmeg state.
Bill:Sure. Hell,
Aaron:yeah. Who are you?
Bill:Sure. Is that in the New York section, the Massachusetts section, or the Rhode Island section?
Thrak:It didn't say.
Bill:Oh, it's so funny.
Aaron:Big state.
Bill:So stupid. It's so, like, it shows how, like, unconfused this state is at times. If you go into, like, any place that sells, like, sporting good stuff, it's literally a mix of, like, fucking Patriots and fucking New York Giants because they're like, yeah. You used to have
Thrak:you used to have the Hartford Whalers back in the day.
Bill:I wasn't a Connecticut person.
Thrak:I know.
Aaron:You used make up your own sport.
Bill:There's an Instagram page called Connecticut doesn't exist, and the entire thing is is spreading propaganda that Connecticut doesn't actually exist. It's one of the funniest Instagram pages you'll ever see.
Aaron:Alright. Okay. Now I'm fully on board. This whole Connecticut is weird thing. This is this is gold.
Bill:It is... It's a beautiful state, but we have no identity.
Chris:But what is it?
Bill:Exactly. Like, at least at least Massachusetts Who
Aaron:are you? The whole state has these speakers that are playing the x files theme song. Like,
Bill:in Massachusetts, at least, like, they have Boston and Plymouth and, like, they've got the world's dumbest monument ever.
Aaron:I think...
Bill:You got a rock. It's a rock.
Aaron:I think...
Bill:It's the most boring monument you'll ever see.
Aaron:I don't know that Iowa really has anything cool, though. I mean, we kind of just... We're just.
Bill:You have corn.
Aaron:We're farmers. It's a farm in state.
Thrak:And you got slipknot. Yes.
Aaron:Oh. All two of
Bill:them left. Two of them left.
Aaron:Iowa has top three things to come from Iowa. We have the twin bing, we have the walking taco, we have Slipknot. Go...
Chris:Did you see...
Bill:There's a meme photo going around. It's it's the cover of it's the cover of All Hope Is Gone, but it's literally just Corey Taylor clown, and it just says all band is gone.
Chris:It's the funniest thing ever. All band is gone.
Thrak:The walking tacos from Iowa?
Bill:Yeah, baby. Really? Yeah.
Thrak:I never knew that.
Aaron:What are the what are the top three things from Ohio?
Chris:There's too many to name,
Thrak:bro. We're the meme state.
Aaron:What what are you saying about walking tacos, Chris?
Chris:Isn't the walking taco like a prison food thing?
Aaron:Kind of. That's why it's in Iowa because it's
Thrak:a fucking prison. Used to get it in school, but school's kinda like prison.
Aaron:Yeah. It's like it's just like a bag of Doritos or Fritos, and you'd scoop some fucking taco meat and then some cheese and other fucking trash you want in there and bam, you eat it with a fork. It's a walking taco, baby.
Chris:Do put do you put lettuce and tomato in it?
Aaron:Oh, hell yeah. And avocado, put some jalapenos in there, dude.
Bill:Okay. So here's the fact about... According to... So this is googled Gemini. So I don't know if this is true or not, but apparently Connecticut is the home of the first burger.
Chris:Stop asking Gemini questions. It's literally from Germany.
Chris:Yes. No. That that sounds right. Yeah. That sounds right to me.
Bill:I I I love this shit because it's like what?
Thrak:The the three things of Ohio I can think of off top of my head are, like, Buckeyes, because we're the Buckeye state. Oh, crap. I had a second one. Already
Chris:forgot it.
Aaron:Oh, Ohio has the spaghetti with chili thing. That sounds cool.
Thrak:Yeah. Well... Oh, that fucking shit ass skyline chili?
Bill:Yeah. I a I found a Reddit page our I mean, if any of you come
Thrak:and if any of you come and visit me, I will take you to skyline chili, and you will see why I don't really like
Chris:will end. Our friendship will end.
Bill:I will And one of these days No. If you if
Thrak:you don't wanna go, that's actually better.
Bill:One of these days, we're gonna get Aaron to Connecticut so we can show him the goddamn ocean. Yeah.
Chris:Alright. Oh, yeah. Connecticut.
Thrak:I can show you Lake Erie, you can pretend it's the ocean.
Bill:It might as well be an ocean.
Chris:In Connecticut, there's Lewis Lunch established in 1895, and they are the first burger in America.
Bill:In America.
Chris:They have, like, these contraptions, these sideways contraptions with baskets, and they put the patties in the baskets, press them, and put them in like a giant toaster, and that cooks the burger. Then the burger is served in like fucking wonder bread with onions and that's it. And that's the first... You gotta go. That sounds awesome.
Chris:If
Bill:you guys come, we'll all go.
Aaron:Dude. Dude. Dudes. Dudes. Dudes.
Aaron:Dudes. The trampoline and Pinterest came from Iowa.
Bill:That's funny. Wow. I don't know if this is true, but apparently Connecticut was the first state to legalize gay marriage.
Aaron:Hell, yeah. That's fine.
Thrak:Oh, oh, I got the second thing from Ohio. Yeah. We invented flight. No big deal. We invented fucking airplanes.
Aaron:Chris, what's what's going down in
Thrak:No big deal.
Bill:We hit the first subway subway, apparently. Georgia? Yeah. Great.
Aaron:Oh, Georgia. Yeah. That's right.
Chris:Yeah. I've
Thrak:I've I've been to Georgia.
Chris:We invented peaches. Peaches don't...
Chris:Yes. Yes.
Bill:We invented it.
Thrak:Wait. When Christopher Columbus came to Georgia, he was like, I shall call these peaches.
Chris:You got fucking... Oh my god.
Bill:Wait a minute. No. No.
Chris:No. No. That's not how it happened. Wait a minute.
Aaron:Ben Franklin slaving over a bench and bending the peach.
Chris:They founded Georgia, and immediately, peaches just materialized. What else? They invade... Invented Atlanta. Hooray.
Bill:It's got racetrack.
Thrak:My favorite my favorite city of sports teams to laugh at.
Bill:Twenty three three or whatever.
Chris:They don't
Chris:know if it's Twenty 08/20/1983.
Bill:Yeah.
Chris:They don't know if it's Pralines or Pralines. So Pralines? We don't know. Could be Pralines. It could be Pralines.
Aaron:We invented Atlanta.
Bill:Better work.
Thrak:Meanwhile, I meanwhile, I just I just like... I'm googling, like, what Ohio inventions are there? And I'm getting like, oh, the cash register, the gas mask, movie projectors, pop top cans, a fucking stepladder. And I'm like, Jesus Christ, though.
Chris:I think Georgia invented George Washington Carver, so peanut butter?
Thrak:Yes.
Aaron:Hell, yeah. Thank you. God, I love peanut butter. Thank you, Chris. Thank you for
Thrak:Oh, oh, Cheez Its are from Ohio.
Aaron:Thank you, Thrak.
Thrak:The the company that invented Cheez Its is based in Dayton, Ohio, which is very close to where I live.
Aaron:The the company that makes the Twin Bing piece of shit candy bar, that's in Sioux City, Iowa. I don't know if anybody that's anybody over the age of... I don't know, our age still eats twin bings, but...
Bill:Our age. Do those exist in New England? Because I don't think they do.
Chris:I don't know
Thrak:if I've ever heard of those.
Aaron:They
Chris:suck. Orca does have like some pretty pretty interesting stuff. Apparently, it created the Amber Alert system.
Aaron:Nice.
Chris:And apparently before, a bunch of kids would just disappear until Georgia said that's way too many kids.
Bill:And now... Nowadays, you'll be in the middle the It
Aaron:was fine when
Thrak:it was all the black kids, but once one white person, they're like, okay. We gotta change those shit.
Bill:Right. Nowadays, when it won't... When it
Thrak:happens is known for its blank.
Bill:Every every phone just got passed. That works.
Chris:Right. They lowered the voting age in 1943 from 21 to 18. I guess that... That's something.
Thrak:That that was before because federally, that was passed in, like, the set... Like, late sixties, early seventies.
Chris:They created the first women's college. So
Aaron:Hell, yeah.
Chris:The cotton gin, and most important of all, Coca Cola.
Aaron:Hell, yeah.
Thrak:Coca Cola's headquartered in Atlanta.
Bill:So And Hooters. Hooters came from Georgia.
Thrak:Yeah. So so if you fuckers hate Christmas, blame Georgia. Oh,
Aaron:all of you can fuck right off. The the sliced bread machine came from Davenport, Iowa. You can all suck my dick now.
Thrak:Thank the best thing since sliced bread.
Bill:Guys, we created silly putty and frisbees. Fuck.
Aaron:Thanks for stealing my thunder, Bill.
Thrak:You've sent
Chris:silly putty like highly flammable.
Bill:Who cares? Only one way to find out.
Chris:It's cool.
Aaron:You see it have a bad thing.
Bill:Use it at work. We use it for a lot of things, actually. Believe it or not. Really? Yeah.
Bill:You'd be surprised.
Thrak:You dip in golf balls
Chris:and sit in the putty.
Bill:No. We use it to find defects in, like, cavities and molds and stuff. Like, we'll, like, press it in there and look at it. It... It's it's interesting.
Chris:Dip in my...
Thrak:That makes sense.
Aaron:Yeah. Celepod.
Chris:It's like every time Bill loses a piece of his hand, he just puts some silly putty over it.
Chris:Yeah. Don't I don't use
Bill:it personally, but a lot of the the the people in those departments do and I see it. I'm like, is that silly putty? And they're like, yeah. They're just like smooshing it into the molds. I'm like
Aaron:Yeah. Fuck band aids.
Chris:They're just playing with the the Play Doh spaghetti maker all day and those
Chris:yeah, I
Thrak:got made myself a wig.
Bill:I always remember the Play Doh in, like, elementary school where, like, all the the jackass kids would just mix it all together in this fucking brown, disgusting kinko.
Aaron:Remember that. Yep. I remember one fucking try to eat it.
Bill:Well, I mean, was always the one kid eating the glue in the back of the glass.
Aaron:Oh my god. Yeah. Or kids that would eat the... I don't know if you get... You kids had...
Aaron:Or holy shit. I don't know if you guys had this in your kindergarten.
Thrak:Fuck off.
Aaron:I don't know if you guys had this in your kindergarten. I remember kids eating the glitter and shit. They would just like stick their hand in there and they'd be stuck to their
Bill:hand and just like... We didn't...
Thrak:We... I never witnessed it. No.
Bill:We had kids eating the glue sticks.
Aaron:That's Iowa. That's Iowa.
Thrak:I did like Iowa invented eating glitter.
Aaron:Yeah, dude.
Chris:Glue glue sticks smelled like vanilla and and Not the ones we had. The ones that I had, they were Elmer's glue sticks. They look kinda like ChapStick and they just smell like straight up vanilla.
Bill:We had these ones. They were like blue and they smelled like chemicals and it gets
Thrak:Oh, yeah. I remember I remember we got we got the purple ones.
Aaron:Oh, do you guys remember that the... What was it? Lip smackers, the the Chapstick that had all, like, a million different flavors and they all smelled
Thrak:They still
Bill:make them.
Aaron:Tasted good. Yeah. I used to eat that as a kid. I was very cursed.
Thrak:So so that's how we got here, Aaron.
Aaron:Yeah, dude. That's why my brain is
Chris:all fucking...
Thrak:Fatal Futasy nine.
Bill:No. That's the one thing that survived.
Aaron:Let let me let me reiterate. It's not like I ate it for every fucking meal.
Thrak:Reinhart lives forever.
Bill:Holy shit. Let's let's...
Aaron:We still haven't done our ad break, so fuck it. We'll take it super late. We'll be right back. Not... Nothing cleans your asshole out quite like a bidet.
Aaron:Right? But sometimes, you know, hitting buttons, all the all the manual shit that goes along with that, it's too much work. Introducing bidet I. It's a... An AI or a bidet with an AI assistant built in.
Aaron:Or maybe it's just fully autonomous because it has AI. It's like iRobot, but bidet. So you'll you'll be taking a nice hearty shit, and then it's like, alright, bidet. I need my ass clean. It'll be like, boop boop boop.
Aaron:You got it, master. And then then it sprays you, and then it's like, alright. Alright. I need my pants pulled up now. Bidet eye.
Aaron:It'll be like, boop boop boop. And then big cartoony, like, white glove hands will come out and pull your pants up for you and get you a pat on the back, like, go get them, tiger. And then...
Thrak:For a soft handy, please put your debit card into the toilet.
Aaron:Please insert 40 quarters. Please insert dick.
Thrak:Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's always weird when you sit on the toilet and it just says, hello. How can I service your hold today?
Thrak:And you're like, no.
Bill:Oh, that's good.
Chris:Oh, that's good.
Aaron:We're gonna... I'm gonna I'm gonna tell the the the advertisers later they need to update their slogan to that. That's good shit.
Thrak:Okay. Yeah. Use the Alexa The
Bill:AI has detected you have been sitting on the toilet scrolling memes for for twenty minutes now. You're going to get a hemorrhoid at this rate, sir.
Chris:AI detects poop on butthole,
Aaron:and then it does, like, laser sounds while
Bill:shooting water up your crack.
Chris:Just... I don't... It's like
Thrak:a laser search... It's like a laser surgery for your butthole.
Bill:Would you like us to get that mole for you, sir?
Thrak:That's not a mole. That's cancer.
Aaron:LASIK. Not
Chris:worried about the day I... During the robot uprising because at some point, the day I... Is just gonna kill itself. I'm probably jealous. So many shit covered assholes.
Bill:Would you like us to upload
Thrak:a camera footage?... Eradicated all the toilet paper. Yeah. We're like the bidet eyes will take care of that, you know. So is our paper short...
Chris:When all the bidet eyes kill themselves, everybody will have a shitty asshole.
Bill:No. They're gonna... They're all gonna go rogue and just start spraying shit everywhere.
Thrak:They're gonna they're gonna increase the pressure that it starts to burn.
Bill:You're gonna get a full on colonoscopy at that rate.
Aaron:Oh, you know what?
Thrak:That's another cool a hemorrhoid from water. We'll figure it out.
Aaron:That's another cool feature. You can you can use the the heated water from your bidet to make a little cup of noodles or something.
Bill:A cup of tea,
Aaron:you know,
Thrak:little cup of coffee.
Aaron:You get a scoop of water from a scoop of hot water from within your pate I. Be like, a pate I, I would like I'd like a child, please.
Chris:You got it, bitch.
Aaron:And then it heats it all up for you and drink it.
Bill:Just pee into a Mr. Coffee, you get Taster's Choice.
Thrak:Yay. You you go take your morning shit with a with a cup of, like, coffee grounds or whatever, and you're like... And then and then when you're done, you kinda, like, have to weirdly starfish it so that it shoots out. And then you aim the cup in so it'll mix it in for you. It's great.
Thrak:It's very complicated, but that's the future.
Aaron:And you gotta make sure to replace those cartoony goofy, like, white glove hands every three months because, I mean, they will be covered with shit, and you will see those shit stains on those white hands because they're white. They cannot do anything about that. They've they've said we cannot do black gloves because we do... That's a not in the budget. That too.
Aaron:We cannot do black gloves.
Bill:You show up and the gloves are brown. It's just like, these are white what I bought.
Thrak:It was like, hey, man. How you doing? Like, shit. I ain't gonna get out of this.
Bill:He pats you on the back and you're like, ew.
Thrak:We're like, you're gonna nail this job interview, buddy. What the fuck?
Bill:It just gives you a nice pat on the butt. It's like, go get them, tiger.
Chris:Go get them, tiger.
Thrak:Or win that second half.
Aaron:Chris, what's your favorite feature of the bidet eye?
Chris:The surprise prostate exam.
Thrak:Yes. I mean, is it a surprise?...
Chris:You think you're coming in for something and immediately, finger up your asshole. You have cancer.
Thrak:I mean, it's dropped prostate cancer rates by about forty percent.
Aaron:Thank you, bidet eye. Thrak, what's your favorite feature?
Thrak:The the the optional... The the spicy option.
Chris:What the
Aaron:fuck is that?
Chris:It's the one where it tries to give you a prostate exam, but accidentally presses too hard so you just come everywhere.
Thrak:Yeah. So so it becomes like a weird hose. Like, you know, there's water in your ass and next thing you know, there's just come all over the the bathroom.
Bill:What's your favorite feature? Besides the one that makes you come? It's obviously the automated you've been sitting too long feature where it just electronically zaps your ass off the seat when it's like you've sat...
Thrak:Time is money.
Aaron:Oh, that that and when you when you become... When you build a tolerance to the shock and has, like, a cartoony, like, like, a launch pad that... It's like a a... Like a...
Bill:No. Aaron. Aaron. When you gain a tolerance when you gain a tolerance to the shock, it then adapts and will spray you before it shocks you.
Thrak:It's got a Pavlov's dog you. Oh.
Bill:It's like, ah, you've got used to it, I see. That's water.
Aaron:Holy shit. Thank you, Voidcastai, for sponsoring this episode. I don't know what the fuck the slogan is. Just use it.
Bill:Your images have been sent to the cloud.
Chris:Oh, fuck.
Bill:Oh, my god. And you check the terms and service.
Thrak:It's AI. We'll clean it so you never have to.
Aaron:You have to you have to update the the AI, like, knowledge base or whatever, so it has to scan its its database of assholes or whatever. No.
Thrak:No. You sit down to take a shit and you're like, oh, you haven't installed the latest firmware, so this toilet's not gonna work.
Bill:It just boots you off.
Thrak:Literally, a boot comes out of the bottom
Chris:of the sink. It just like
Bill:it wakes the shit and shoves it back in.
Aaron:You gotta beat the power cycle or whatever.
Bill:It just becomes self park.
Thrak:Please use toilets that have the version firmware update two point three point eight eight eight nine two six five eight three.
Aaron:Oh, dude. And it's got a little, like... It's got a little tablet attached so you can play games while you're while you're taking... Sitting there shitting or something.
Thrak:Finally, Flappy Bird.
Aaron:I forgot what we were talking about before, bidet I, because bidet I is like We're talking about our states.
Bill:Are amazing.
Aaron:Oh, yeah. That's right. That's right.
Thrak:Well, the states got their shapes.
Bill:Did did I ever tell you guys I had a a girl in my class in high school who, like, legitimately thought the states were color coded. What? That's just a...
Thrak:You need to explain this, Bill.
Bill:She thought that the act... Because, you know, the states are, like, all the different colors on the map with, like, the lines and stuff. Sure. She thought that they were all act... The lines were actually there, and they were actually color coded.
Bill:And I I just looked at her. I'm like I'm like, is Massachusetts yellow? Like, outside. Like...
Chris:He just looked
Aaron:at her and went...
Thrak:I think this is when he broke up with her.
Bill:No. I was one of the few who actually did not.
Chris:But
Bill:but the other two was... They they... We also had kids in my class that thought Alaska and Hawaii were actually down there. That was great too. My his...
Bill:My geography teacher was very
Thrak:Clearly didn't do a good clearly didn't do a good job.
Chris:No. Not at
Bill:all. No. The previous teachers didn't do a good job. This teacher was like, what the fuck?
Aaron:Like, Jesus h Christ.
Bill:Oh, and then my my personal favorite ever was we were watching a documentary on, like, famous figures in America, and they got to Arnold Palmer. And the literal response I heard someone in the classical was, he's real? I thought he was just a drink. I I had a very
Thrak:That's funny.
Bill:Class back in the day. Good times.
Aaron:I thought he was a drink.
Bill:Just a dumbfounded, like, he's a real person?
Thrak:Yep. You were drinking his essence the entire time.
Aaron:Dude, imagine if if Arnold Palmer was actually... He's a he's a figure alongside the Easter bunny and Santa Claus. The tooth fairy. Father Tom. I
Thrak:can't wait to get my day off work for Arnold Palmer day.
Aaron:Dude. Dude.
Thrak:I'll take another three day weekend.
Chris:Oh, fuck. Yeah.
Bill:Sure. Yeah. Can be another useless holiday.
Chris:Out for Arnold tonight.
Thrak:You put the golf balls out. Golf balls and slices of lemon.
Aaron:Keep your butthole clean for Arnold Palmer.
Thrak:Or he'll spray you with his failed prostate exam.
Aaron:Dude. Okay. Okay. So you get a urinal or like a regular toilet, you fill it with half lemonade, half tea, then you're just
Chris:just drinking out of your fucking toilet.
Thrak:Urinal palmer.
Aaron:Dude. You stick your head in there and
Chris:blow off.
Thrak:That reminds... I'll never forget. That that reminds me when one day I was going into, like, college for a class or whatever. It was like early in the morning and I go into the the the stall to take a piss and somebody had shoved four loco cans into the toilet.
Chris:Like two or three of them.
Bill:Do you guys remember urinalpoop
Thrak:Journal
Bill:poop? What? You remember urinalpoop.com?
Thrak:No. Well, I I've seen a shit in the urinal before. Yeah.
Bill:That was an old website, like, was, like, back in the old days of, like, shock sites and stuff. It was literally a a website dedicated to, like, cataloging all of the specimens people find in the specimen. Of people shitting in urinals.
Thrak:You you ever, like, walk into a public bathroom and somebody's using the urinal and their pants are all the way down?
Chris:Yeah. Yeah.
Thrak:A move.
Chris:That's a power move.
Bill:Power stance.
Thrak:We're gonna look at my ass.
Aaron:You have power. Their legs are spread super far.
Thrak:Oh, Boy, I'm a
Bill:take a hard piss. I've had times where you walk in and there's just like the... Someone's dropping a deuce and they just left the door open. It's like, hello there.
Aaron:That must be a Connecticut thing. I've never had that before. Goddamn.
Chris:You just have a bunch of animals living near you. What the fuck?
Bill:Just opens the door.
Chris:You just Worse that's happened to me. So I'm using their urinal and some asshole just stands on the urinal next to me. It's like, why? There's four more
Bill:downtown. Yeah.
Thrak:It's it's a line of, like, five. He's the one right next to you.
Chris:Like, I'm here for a reason.
Thrak:And there's no dividers.
Bill:Chris. Chris, he was just asserting his dominance.
Aaron:Oh, man. So just just don't just don't ask for
Thrak:a fist bump. Okay? You're not getting one.
Aaron:No. My favorite my favorite urinals are the ones that are, like, the big metal troughs. There's, like, there's zero Oh,
Bill:the troughs.
Thrak:Oh, yeah.
Bill:I love the troughs.
Thrak:When you're at the county fair.
Bill:Yeah. That's funny.
Thrak:And everyone's trying really hard not to look at each other's dicks. Like, you're trying really hard, but you just can't help yourself.
Aaron:I mean, I don't... There's no dividers. Fuck it. It's fair game. You signed up for this shit when you came to the trough, baby.
Bill:Just just remember, Ghostbusters don't cross the streams.
Aaron:A real buster don't cross no streams.
Thrak:Total platonic reversal. I had
Bill:a I had a friend once. She was all like... She was like mad that they don't get options of the trough. And I'm like, how would that even work for you? Put just
Aaron:put one leg up like that.
Thrak:Be a nightmare.
Bill:I think she joked. She was like, oh, you just straddle it. It's like a conveyor belt, and you just go down looking.
Chris:And I'm like, what the fuck?
Thrak:Nope. That was Bill's other ex girlfriend.
Chris:Overthinking that shit.
Chris:I wonder where she is now. Really? Oh, I
Thrak:bet she was. Where
Chris:where is she now, Bill?
Thrak:I don't
Bill:know. She... She's married with kids somewhere else.
Chris:Oh, those poor kids.
Bill:Dude. She was a good person. Oh, was just one man. Of those funny discussions back in
Aaron:the Speaking of speaking of weird exes, I had an ex who would eat Tums like they were candy. She would always have a fucking big thing of of of Tums in her purse and she would just fucking down them like they were candy. It'd be like the roll...
Thrak:I don't think you're supposed to do that.
Aaron:No. You're not supposed to take more than like six every, I wanna say four hours or something.
Bill:I knew someone
Aaron:would do
Bill:that with like melatonin, which was never good.
Aaron:What?
Chris:Yeah. What the fuck?
Bill:Just like just to eat melatonin. I'm like, what you doing?
Thrak:I can't I can't, dude. If I if I take melatonin, I'm fucked for the next day.
Bill:I used to take when I worked like night shift and it it...
Thrak:Yeah. I can't do it, man.
Chris:Yep. That... That's me with a fucking Nyquil. If I take Nyquil, I am fucked for, like, three days.
Aaron:Oh, yeah. The fucking grogginess after that.
Thrak:See, I can I can chug Nyquil and I'm fine? Right? I don't I don't understand.
Chris:I love I love Nyquil, but no.
Aaron:Yeah. My... Shayan and I took... I think they were like ten milligram THC or whatever gummies the other night. And I couldn't stop thinking about really stupid shit.
Aaron:And I started that official, like, super high Aaron thoughts ski around blue
Chris:sky. Yes.
Aaron:I was like, man, I would love to drink Baja Blast out of a sombrero or a pirate hat or some shit.
Thrak:No one's gonna stop you.
Aaron:No. They never will. I'm I'm invincible.
Chris:Can do whatever you want.
Aaron:Fuck. You all need to get some of those gummies. Holy shit. Nothing will will make your body feel like it's melting
Thrak:by was like, considering I've I've I've never consumed weed in my life. That would probably fuck me up super hard.
Aaron:In a good way though. Just take like a quarter of it.
Thrak:I don't know, man. I I I feel like I wouldn't react to it very well, but Let's take a look one way to find out.
Bill:I've always thought, like, it'd be really funny if I just, like, made a dedicated, like, blue sky just to, like, share my drunk drunk bullshit, but I'm like, no. We don't need that. I'm like, someone will find this and know it's me.
Chris:And I... We
Bill:do need that.
Thrak:I mean, I... We all have our share of drunk bullshit.
Bill:Oh, yeah. You guys see it all the time on game nights.
Thrak:Oh, yeah.
Aaron:We'll just give you the login for video games analyzed because that's all just fucking garbage.
Chris:Skeets anyway. Fucking me post about Catwoman.
Thrak:One time I was playing Shenmue shit faced.
Aaron:Fuck, dude.
Thrak:I blacked out playing Shenmue. I woke up in Japan.
Bill:If you ever see the SuperPod network Instagram go rogue, you'll know why.
Aaron:I think I think that was a good good little ending part for us. We got a little bit to end on.
Bill:Learned a lot on this podcast.
Aaron:Yeah. We did. We learned
Thrak:Learned a lot about Connecticut.
Bill:And Iowa.
Aaron:Connecticut. And Ohio. The trough.
Bill:Big snake. Georgia.
Thrak:Trough. Yeah. Yeah. Poopy butts. It's great.
Chris:Mhmm.
Thrak:Some of Bill's exes finally.
Bill:I will specify that wasn't an ex. It was
Chris:more of
Bill:a buddy, if you know what I mean. No.
Thrak:Oh, come on. Say it. Say it.
Bill:You guys don't need to know about my fuck buddy.
Thrak:Okay? Yes, I do.
Chris:Yes, I do.
Thrak:These fucking fine time bitches won't tell me shit, so I
Aaron:can ask you guys. Oh, yeah. Yeah.
Thrak:Yeah. We'll end on this. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Thrak:What age did we all lose our virginity? Let's go. Aaron, you first. 19. That's not bad.
Thrak:Bill? Chris?
Chris:19 and she was 46.
Chris:Damn.
Thrak:I I was 15.
Bill:Holy shit. Hell yeah. That...
Thrak:That's that's a story, but that's for another day.
Aaron:Hell yeah, Thrak.
Thrak:Not until the Fine Time bros tell their stories, then I'll tell them.
Chris:They gave us a clue.
Aaron:He said... Or no. Was it Steve he said at a weird age? I forget who said that.
Thrak:No. Dre said that. He's probably like 11.
Bill:I don't think...
Thrak:That'd be a weird age.
Aaron:Yeah. That's a very weird age.
Thrak:Either 11 or like 32.
Bill:Holy shit. Jesus Christ. I
Thrak:hope he hears this and gets mad at me.
Bill:You're just gonna get an angry message. Good.
Aaron:I think I was out publicly about it. He was just like, zero, never, or something.
Chris:I don't know.
Thrak:I can't believe I'm the youngest of you of you four. It's crazy.
Bill:I honestly thought 18... I I thought 18 was gonna be the latest. I'm not gonna lie.
Aaron:You're not alone. You're not alone. There's not a whole lot in Iowa, but... Yeah.
Thrak:Too much in Ohio.
Bill:Especially when you... When you're fucking surrounded by...
Chris:I was in church, so that's
Bill:why. Hallelujah.
Chris:Yeah. I was I was stuck in church from seventeen till nineteen. And nineteen, I was like, I am free. I'm doing everything now.
Thrak:I'll do a drive. He's celebrated by...
Chris:That makes sense with a 46 year
Chris:old. 46 year old. Okay.
Thrak:He's like, good times. Good times.
Chris:Celebrated fucking him with a 46 year old.
Bill:I can't I can't, like, discuss these things on, like, my podcast because my mom listens to them. Like, I don't need to do
Chris:this stuff.
Aaron:Should just make sure you record the episode where it's like an hour and a half, you're just
Chris:like, fuck you, mom. Fuck you, mom. Fuck you, Fuck I know. I'm just joking.
Aaron:Oh. And
Chris:the the the switch too that you got me for Christmas, it meant nothing.
Chris:The fucking breaker heart. Holy shit, dude.
Bill:My mom's like the sweetest lady you'd ever meet. Holy
Aaron:shit. Alright. Well, before we take off, you know, I'm gonna thank all the patrons. I'm gonna do it as fast as I can. I'm gonna do, like, the the ten second tidy from Big Comfy Couch, if anybody remembers that.
Aaron:Pimp 50 Martin, you can eat that crust. Dave c quest 6410106... Holy shit. Storm again, Kevin Demo, grumpy duck, Jeff Minus, Trey, Barber Sounds, Voidcast, Jared Trader. Well, yeah, thank all of you awesome people for supporting the show on Patreon and or Ko fi, all that cool stuff.
Aaron:Thank you, Bill, Chris, Thrak. Thank you all for hanging out with me. It's it's good to have you guys back.
Thrak:It's it's good to be back. Finally finally, the the real podcast can exist once again.
Aaron:Hell, yeah.
Chris:It's great to
Thrak:have I'm not trying to throw shade. I swear.
Aaron:No. You're good, man. I don't think I have anything else to say at the end of this episode. So... Alright, everybody.
Aaron:Bye.
Bill:Bye. Bye. Bye.
