[00:00:00] Yeah, get the almonds best one amens is that it No, we got do I not get a say in this no fuck you Yeah, Reese's puffs Why is Goku on that one because Goku's awesome

[00:00:17] Well, yeah, I know that I don't actually know I seen it like huh is that what's next? What's next? process mini-wheats frosted mini-wheats The fuck is H E B. Oh, that's like that's Texas Walmart isn't it probably it's like wow. I'm our could

[00:00:40] I'm gonna fucking overload this thing try to do so much. I want to all this what? How's our fruit loops? What did I miss? See so we got Jared cinnamon toast cruncher captain crunch Fruit loops Oh fruity pep and all you got pretty pebbles

[00:00:57] I'm off all that I'm not can't see it now you're in fucking Lucky Charms on this yet whoops Yeah, the frosted flakes didn't get put on there. We're gonna replace frosted flakes with Lucky Charms All right fine You one choice Can I change my choice no

[00:01:23] To what Cheerios that's no boring. I just want Cheerios They have to be at least like the frosted Cheerios. I want Cheerios and nothing I don't take this out. What are you British now? First your Canadian now your British whatever I want Cheerios dude look at these fucking

[00:01:45] Ads Fuck them ads Fuck them bitches These ads are gonna crash the whole fucking thing those are like seven Please four so I'm just gonna close this cord just to be safe put in the Cheerios

[00:02:05] Get the video ad the Keurig ad the Neutrogena ad why don't you have ad block? I? Don't know I should hang on should have you gone this long in your life Don't look I don't know if I even have one like oh

[00:02:25] Man, oh boy. Why don't you use opera? Cuz fuck you be good chrome is more compatible with I don't use opera either. I use chrome, but everybody else that I also like this is I know what so

[00:02:42] The same way that like I hate arguing with someone that strictly uses Android not anything against Android Because I use Apple for my phone just because I'm I'm embedded in the ecosystem That said are you nothing I hate fucking kidding me I have to pay for this

[00:03:03] Because he's a baby Do I add block wait let me look at what I have get ad block plus and then also get ad blocker ultimate And then just watch that ad block get a brutal combo

[00:03:21] That book like fucking that I book plus yep. That's the one big goddamn stop sign Watch Riverside just crash Watch it just shut down his computer You just get fucking that dude from Jurassic Park coming up being like oh

[00:03:41] Nedry you didn't say the magic word. That's Wayne Knight Jared That's Nedry in the real name his real name is Wayne Knight I don't give a shit what his name is in real life. That's not who he is in the movie

[00:03:57] He didn't look like a knight at all in Jurassic Park. He didn't he doesn't look like a knight in general I Don't think he would have passed as a knight back in the dark ages I fear he would have died at the age of 12 of diabetes

[00:04:14] Well, but seems like a little high Right, how do I stop the bubonic flag at about nine? What am I missing here? We mean I don't know if you can

[00:04:26] Get rid of that video though. You gotta reload the page. Oh man if I if I lose the tier list and we really upset Oh look how smooth it is because there's no fucking ads yeah, dude Oh, what are you doing? You found one They're creeping

[00:04:53] It's way through bro Wait, which which one of those is the other Froot Loops? Why are you looking at these in thumbnail version why are you having to click on all these to find out what I found it Everybody just shut the fuck up. I found it

[00:05:13] This area like you think you'd be good at this by now just listening to us Dunking on you I don't know how this fucking ad got through bro. Like it's it's just holy shit. Hi people. We're uh The fuck do I stop the kite like? Whatever fuck

[00:05:36] I'll just stick on this fucking screen. Yeah. Hello listeners. Hi Yeah, hello, we're doing another tier list this time instead of doing root beers and shit we're doing breakfast cereals I Jared I forgot to find a munching sound bite

[00:05:56] So fuck you. Oh, that's okay. You know what to play We're tearing up so fucking or tearing up because of M bison but also tearing up some breakfast cereals for cereal killing Yes joining me today we forgot to come up She was You sound like a fucking

[00:07:09] Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay we're doing this is where you this is where I would start the episode make that your intro Like a cold open and then now start the episode Hello everyone

[00:07:25] Thank you for joining us for yet another tier list. Hey, we're talking about breakfast cereals We're tearing up some breakfast cereals. We've got we've got two fine fellas with me We didn't come up with food theme nicknames this time Because I mean mine is oh

[00:07:41] What was yours again Jared turd burglar? Okay, yeah, I mean yeah, you can't eat shit you shouldn't but you can't eat shit Jerry do you have a do you have a food theme nickname? You want to throw at us? No, I don't

[00:08:02] Joining me today is Jared and Jerry. Hello Hello, not confusing at all. My name is Jared And I'm Jerry And I'm tits Burgundy Yeah, we're tearing up some breakfast cereal, oh fuck I didn't add like a ding like a like a bell or anything like that

[00:08:28] so we'll just go with Let's get it on you should have got the he needs some milk Fucking big lip Why did you have Tony the tiger on deck for this with his they're great shit Moving on we're

[00:08:53] We've got eight cereals. We're gonna we're gonna tear up on this here list Jared tell them what cereals we got We got a cinnamon toast crunch Got cap and crunch with berries Fruit loops

[00:09:08] Frosted flakes. Nope. Nope lucky charms. Oh, yeah, we changed that to lucky charm. Sorry lucky charms Reese's puffs Fruity pebbles frosted mini wheats and Reese's puffs I know honey bunches of oats Oh Shit this is gonna be so good anybody anybody want to say anything before we start

[00:09:39] Please I'm so tired Can't get enough of that sugar Chris Can't believe you didn't put that on there like come on man Cocoa, weeds the tasty treat that can't be beat more. Chocula is not on this list How to listen listen listen this is such an oversight

[00:10:01] You're an oversight. Let's listen your last minute addition Let's Should wipe you off of my back with a napkin Captain crunch though, right? I mean it's we're doing just like captain crunch not the crunch berries Jared lied to you Don't let him don't let him lie to you

[00:10:45] Hey, they don't know they do now Yeah, we're what should we slap it and be We're just we're just gonna we're just gonna go ahead willy-nilly and throw captain crunch in B

[00:11:02] I mean, all right. All right. I make your argument for why it's not shouldn't be more than B Oh, yeah, why should be more? I think Jerry go first Captain crunch man. I used to think this guy was Yosemite Sam but blue

[00:11:19] So that's why he deserves at least a yes I was took this guy Deceased dad we formed a bond. He's got guns on a cereal box But they buy some guns They're crunchy

[00:11:43] The only reason why captain crunch doesn't get an S tier is because it fucks the roof of your mouth See I don't know about that chair I Mean, I've never had that maybe maybe I just like sopped mine up with milk to the point where they're like fucking

[00:12:01] Slop, but what do you mean milk? You see these fuckers dry I Have never had cereal with lubricant in my life just by the handful out of the box milk flavored lube Lube flavored milk Oh

[00:12:32] What the fuck is it it's like condensed sweetened condensed milk you're pouring that in there why I don't understand what sociopath uses Unsweetened condensed milk I dude I Can't even get into this. I I had a great aunt

[00:12:50] That used to like when I had to stay there the one time a year She would make two things with condensed milk that was Horrific and one of those things was Kraft dinner with condensed milk, which actually wasn't fun too bad, but it was not great

[00:13:10] But the other thing was I get up and she'd be like you want some cereal for breakfast and I'd be like Oh Yeah, she would like wake me up early too and then just be like

[00:13:47] I would be eating it like urging and she'd be like I'm telling your parents Are you you talk about like the thick shit or like I'm talking about condensed milk man. You take you take it

[00:14:05] However, you like because it's sometimes it's a fucking rich lathery cream. Okay. Okay. Yeah other times it is just liquid piss Dude we Growing up we grew up kind of broke and we would get a lot of stuff from the the local food pantry and a lot

[00:14:22] Of the times we would get evaporated milk Which is just powdered milk that you mix with water then who is the most like watered down shit ever But it tasted just fine kind of Jared state your kids can crunch I definitely think it's beat here because it's it's

[00:14:42] Very forgettable You like crunch berries I would put as an a but like plain Jane like yellow square cap and crunch Let's go just tastes like the soggy peanut butter. I put it in B just don't put it in C for Christ's sake

[00:14:57] Okay, okay, and this little this little this will shift as we go along to well, it'll shift and if we have enough time How much time we're going right now? Holy fuck. I cannot look anywhere else besides right here

[00:15:11] Okay, 16 minutes, you know if we have time we can add more Let's uh, what should we do next fellas? Let's do the honey bunches of oats Okay, okay Jared any case anything besides s-tier you're getting beat up

[00:15:32] You can't go wrong with honey bunches of oats that's right you can't Oh Yeah, man I were D for diabetes because okay D for David These nuts oh And then my great aunt just comes down the stairs like Is the letter of the day For dipshit Diabetes

[00:16:10] Don't eat too much sugar. Oh you'll get your leg Cuz I count on my diabetes Honey bunches of oats is good like when you first get it in the bowl any pork milk on it

[00:16:29] Start going to town. It's good. But when you let it sit for too long, it becomes like a fucking slop and I don't like that I'm gonna have to agree with you on that but isn't that every cereal ever? No, I like

[00:16:45] When we get to it later on like Reese's puffs those those hold their fucking their physique Yeah Like honey bunches of oats. It's just like floppy Like almost like Like paper fucking dissolved paper with some slivered almonds and shit Dude, I love some of it. Oh man

[00:17:10] They're good. If it was just a bowl slivered almonds. I'd be fine with that Well, then you're just eating a bowl of nuts Do that every day milk? with gasoline Jerry what do you say do you say see I'll settle on Jared I

[00:17:28] Can't I can't go any lower than a I can't go any lower than the top Well, uh, I Will accept seat here. I love I love honey bunches of oats, but there are a lot of flaws about them Okay. Okay. Okay Jared you gonna pick the next one?

[00:17:52] Who Jared Jared did Jared Do it did You know, let's go with some cinnamon toast crunch Cinnamon toast crunch. Hell yeah this okay. This is s-tier for me, baby I'm like you like here as well. I could eat this by the handful out of the box. Yep

[00:18:17] Hey mayor, I actually had to do that the other day cuz I forgot I had milk But I actually ate a bowl of this right before I got down here Yeah, that's to your god mode let's give it out. Let's give it a happy face

[00:18:33] Well, let me get a our first s-tier Like fireworks sounds do Just a fucking explosion like a deep-fried frozen. You know, you need to do You need for the for the D tier you just got to get that sound bite

[00:18:59] Of Michelangelo in the first Ninja Turtles movies just be like They're like that No, I haven't seen that movie in so long It's about time you revisit the transformers movie from the 90s where I forgot who it was but they're like, oh shit, I

[00:19:20] Used to have a sound bite when when Sam used to host our show and I used to try to fuck him up every time because it was a clip of From the first movie going Sam put the cube in my chest Put it in me Sam

[00:19:42] Cuz I don't know I just love making the pooh sound gross Free bubbles Dude like best consistency ever honestly like Nothing's better than this getting pretty good. Nothing's better than like a fat fucking spoonful right in your face, man. It's I

[00:20:07] Was I want to say a because I would rather have cinnamon toast crunch about like if I was given the choice I Can agree with that? I pretty pebbles are You don't forget your first bowl of fruity pebbles

[00:20:26] No, what are you saying? Jerry? What do you think I agree with a I Also feel like it's a because I'm about to I'm about to throw something out here that might fuck up this whole list. Have you considered? Not only the cereal itself But the milk afterward

[00:20:50] Mmm, yeah, that's why cinnamon toast crunch sits at an S cuz it's got that like cinnamon e sugary milk fruity pebbles afterward It's some pretty wonderful shit Another

[00:21:06] Another they're like mind-blowing thing that we could use in this whole fucking thing too is like cereal as a milkshake ingredient Cuz like I fuck with some cinnamon toast crunch milkshakes, bro Doesn't zombie burger do some stupid shit like that you bet your sweet creamy ass they do

[00:21:23] Yeah, I remember them fucking having some kick-ass adult milkshakes. Oh Man who wants to pick the next one? My pick. All right. I gotta go with because I reminded you that it was not on this list when I entered this chat lucky charms Oh Okay, here's the thing

[00:21:48] Everybody has a love-hate relationship with lucky charms everybody. Okay and Themself I had to be my bike to cough I Was like I'm waiting for like a drop to happen So the thing about lucky charms is that it's a love-hate relationship, I think you guys will agree because

[00:22:16] Who the fuck wants to eat the non marshmallow pieces nobody me sucks. No, that's I don't want the marshmallows What yeah, I don't like the marshmallows is this a bit No

[00:22:34] Gotta be a bit. No, I do not like any cereals like the marshmallows and any of those marshmallow cereals I just don't like it Huh, this is why you like honey bunches of oats. I knew I knew it

[00:22:48] Hey, there's like serial killer vibes about someone who yeah, I kill cereal all day Killing that surreal so it's a role That's Cheryl kill that Cheryl. No actually don't scary for people that might be no

[00:23:13] Let's be honest. No one named Cheryl is listening to this podcast because Cheryl is at least 60 years old Yeah Not Cheryl Cheryl I have a Cheryl actually and she is probably about 60 something But no lucky charms for me is love-hate relationship

[00:23:34] It's gotta be the all the marshmallows and then you just leave my parents would get pissed Leave those other fucking pieces of like drywall left floating in The milk and they'd be like eat your cereal. I'm like, oh I did eat the cereal

[00:23:49] They're like well, you still have some in your bowl. Look I ate the good parts. I ate around it I I considered that like the bone of Lucky charms because didn't want it don't need to eat it tastes like shit

[00:24:01] I'm just here for the for the marshmallows man, and for that reason I would put it in B I'd be fucking pissed at you too. Like if you remind kid I'm fucking scream

[00:24:11] Did I bet he I bet he's the type of person that eats just the fried skin on chicken and leaves the rest Who doesn't I? eat the whole chicken Wait You know what? That's it. I I need to ask now that you've brought it up

[00:24:27] You brought this up you brought this upon your you brought this up you brought it upon yourself So have you ever had chicken hearts? Yes They're not that bad. They aren't Some of gizzards gizzards are pretty good. They took me a long time to get

[00:24:46] Used to the fact that like like the first time I ate it I was like these are really good actually, but like what's the crunchiness and my friend was like that's the aorta

[00:24:54] Yep, don't care for oh, I would rather not know that yeah should not have asked. Yeah Also chicken feet which I'm not a fan of no Even eat them. Let's do a list. Let's do a tier list on feet pigs feet chicken feet human feet

[00:25:16] I think I can only say I've eaten one of those if we're doing a feature There's two people there's two people in the s-tier of a feet tier list and that is none other than Quentin Tarantino and that fucking guy that runs Nickelodeon oh Dan Schneider or whatever

[00:25:38] He did he's gross he had more than a like for feet he seems like a pickled pigs feet kind of motherfucker Yeah, he made Ariana Grande Why are you looking up?

[00:25:55] Dude Hannah's legs feet. What is that fucking red liquid? I've always wondered that was a bread. It's probably at seasoning I've never had these They're fully cooked Jerry ready to eat that captain crunch on the top on that bottle no it's enough feet feet man It's weirder cowboy

[00:26:18] Oh That does not look good at all look at that little kid Okay, nope nope nope. We're good. Nope. We're going way off track here bad. This is bad so for Lucky charms right I say I Said I said beat here

[00:26:37] Would you say a beat here? I said beat here. I thought that's what I say I Could go for some be Jared. I'm gonna go with C See Listen I eat the good half you eat the bad half But the good half isn't the good half see

[00:26:58] Are you the bag from PT? Baby being like I am very bland was you the real you is you am I the real me I? Don't know what that means, but I'm gonna put this on C because honestly I'd rather have cap and crunch over lucky charms

[00:27:15] Maybe um Would you actually consider honey bunches of oats on the same level as lucky charms are you Eddie or God no I'm moving No, I consider. I consider honey bunches like 20 levels higher

[00:27:31] Jerry has swayed my decision. I wish we had the the gavel bang from judge Judy or something Bring out the olives No Mary let go of me Get the gun away from my temple, please Frosted mini wheats um I would put those at an A tier

[00:27:57] I would I'd say that too I like frosted mini wheats especially when they get it kind of like I think it kind of when they soak up some of the the milk and they get kind of like

[00:28:05] squishy, but still crunchy there. Yeah, there. They're also another one that They're another one that can kind of retain their shape and form yes their physique in soaking in some milk And they can become different flavors and those different flavors are so good

[00:28:23] Yeah, like the blueberry muffin ones. Yep. That's my favorite one. I've never had those They are good a tier I agree with a tier on these ones I Think I would almost put those as s-tier

[00:28:39] They're so fucking good, dude, I think you're pushing that oh, that's tough oh That's so tough because I while I do agree that they retain their shape once they get soggy. They're just mush Yeah, but the mush is even good though

[00:28:56] It's like a bowl of oatmeal at that point. It's just yeah, it's like sugar mush Sure, well, that's not cereal anymore Serial anymore DJ sugar mush Sugar bush In the a I think Jared it's your turn That's fucking s-tier for me dude

[00:29:39] No cap hundred percent no, I agree that it's good. Oh, yeah, and I love Reese's puffs, but I'm like anti-chocolate So that's like the only thing that throws me off is like just because I personally don't like chocolate So it kind of ruins it a little bit

[00:29:57] I would just love just like a bowl of just the truck the peanut butter ones. Yeah, I'm sorry Can you say that again? I don't like chocolate It's okay. Um, that's that's that's I just there's not a lot of people that I've met that don't like chocolate

[00:30:12] Yeah, I'm not a fan milk chocolate dark chocolate I Like white chocolate Yeah, white chocolate skin. Well, they have like white chocolate cereal Because they're scared Cowards fucking cowards. I think there is a white chocolate cereal. I think it's called Cheerios. Oh

[00:30:35] You leave the goddamn Cheerios out of this you guys Damn, I totally could tell last day old damn planet Choke up choke a cup of choc choc a pick duo that sounds like a fucking console That does yeah

[00:30:55] Consoles what wait go back go back go back to the top. Oh What is Kellogg's zucaritis, what the hell is that I think it's just like Spanish I use the Spanish frosted flakes, bro Caritas yeah, that's that's Spanish brother Get all the good I does

[00:31:25] This little you don't see those he knows the door's the door's See Mr. Roba with the Reese Reese's puffs. Oh, I I'm sitting there like it between a and s man. I like me three Reese's puffs. I Like them pigs free. I think they go on s-tier

[00:31:53] All right, I won't fight you either on this one All right, so then I'll give you a heart. I'll give you a heart react I don't know what the fuck these are for but Yeah, you get a heart react last one fruit loops

[00:32:08] Hey fruit loops don't care for him. I'm going deep. Hey, I was gonna 100% agree with that one I don't especially now fruit loops. They're just awful Yeah, they're even back as a kid. They were like one of the least ones I would pick They're they're very aggressively, okay

[00:32:26] Same with like Apple Jack's Yeah, those used to be so fucking good back in the day, but now they're just This Apple and cinnamon and it's like, okay. Well one bowl is enough Did you? You put fruit loops

[00:32:43] In D do not hear us talking. We just said yeah, we don't care for him, dude I think I may have blacked it out because I Well, I can't get behind this of all of okay fruit loops as a cereal Okay is just fine however

[00:33:04] Fruit loops has the best goddamn after milk I've ever tasted Jerry. You're drunk go home That's the best That's the best it's the best after milk Give me that fruit loop after milk All day I want it

[00:33:25] In my pantry, but and then I want it to turn into cheese fruit loop Milk cheese. Oh Oh, I don't know how to feel about that um

[00:33:35] What's uh, I mean would you would you rather eat if give it put it if I put a gun to your temple right now? And I said eat either a bowl of honey bunches of oats or fruit loops. Which one would you pick?

[00:33:46] Please don't pick the gun. Okay fruit loops Please don't pick the gun Oh what? It kind of reminds me of that family guy episode where peter has to sign a gun and he crumples it up

[00:34:03] When you sign my gun, oh crap I mess it up you have another gun What was it gary the no trash cougar he's like The garbage throw out your garbage spread the word bam I said it was gonna be nice Um pick it up

[00:34:21] Pick it up. Pick it up. Pick it up. He's pointing the gun at the kid What uh who the who was just talking jerry jerry, uh, no who who just who's talked who just Jerry germaine depre

[00:34:38] No, wait, you chose you chose fruit loops over honey bunches of oats, right? Hb o o okay What about you jared would you pick fruit loops or hb o o? I think you just called him hbo Trademark trademark trademark trademark

[00:34:59] I feel like home box office is delicious. Holy fuck bradley bradley bradley bradley Oh Honey bunches of bradley's The three of us can't do anymore of these I can't do much. They're too much I can't do this show anymore, dude. Should we put it on the same level?

[00:35:34] He's like would you rather have no No If anything you move that honey bunches of oats down and push fruit loops That's it that's it now you've besmirched the good name of hbo Oh All of our reputations are online here i'm not online on on the line

[00:36:09] They are online They certainly are i'm gonna fucking puke dude Please record it Uh, no, no, but uh, so Our multiple pictures and we'll put them in the tier list Shades of my fucking bile What's up What's up what

[00:36:37] I don't know where we are man. Are we doing honey bunches of oats below fruit loops? Fuck no So if given the choice I would rather have Hbo instead of fruit. I'm not saying the whole name over and over again

[00:36:56] You're gonna be like dead and cold in my fucking great another reason why it doesn't belong in c It's got a terrible name. It doesn't even roll off your tongue

[00:37:04] But it tells you what it is like you look at cap and crunch and it's like what is this a pirate? I don't want to eat a fucking pirate I don't want to eat a captain What is the flavor of captain grunch? just Cardboard listen listen jerry

[00:37:23] Let me pull you aside take a seat. Listen, you're you're asking These questions No, no, no, no, these are these are too tough for questions um Why don't you have a seat? Um right over there Some oreos under there too for you if you want them

[00:37:39] You got literary coffee and oreos Um, oh we should have put oreo o's on here I'm not sure No, that's a cookie that doesn't that's like putting cookie crisps and shit like we can't be

[00:37:51] This is a that would become a different podcast. We'd have a completely different demographic All right. We're gonna have to have a cookie cereal cheerless next We've like three of them super pod saga we get fucking canceled bro. We'd get fucking canceled if we did that

[00:38:05] the fans oh the fans The fans you can't even imagine the revolt that would happen if we started just class the revolt That like wait I just realized that stop stop. We're getting off track again. We need to know you need to hear this

[00:38:20] This is I just had an epiphany The reason why they made cookie cereal is because how goddamn good it is to dunk your fucking cookies in milk And they just made it easier Now is pop tart a cereal? I'll take pop tart cereal for 500 trebek

[00:38:44] Trebek's fucking dead, dude Just on the ground fucking like flies bussing and pop tart hanging out of his mouth guy. Yeah, you gotta smile though It makes the fucking wheel of fortune like uh, like eww sound bump bump Can't fucking go bankrupt

[00:39:08] I love the the thing. I like the most about that drop is the trumpet I know the fucking like bagpipes in the background like he's at a funeral or something Oh god, but he's at his opponent's funeral. All right, stop stop stop stop Uh, I would much I

[00:39:27] I'm leaving for a loops at a d I'm doing it. Oh no, no, this has to be jared. What do you think? What do you think? D all the way. Okay, so I would much rather have honey, but hb o o

[00:39:44] So I almost almost put myself into an early grave the hubbu Yeah, the hubbu Hmm Okay, yeah any uh any any other revisions we should make uh, you know like that I think the two st or ones that are there definitely belong there Um

[00:40:10] I think everything else is in its right place except for c and d Well You're outnumbered by two votes there, but i'm really really sorry. Um ask the audience It's too late now Okay We'll take it to twitter roll fast

[00:40:32] It was good, uh, can you cook goose? No still haven't heard back from pitbull about that fucking shit by the way What a guy. I mean he said he would call Dear mr. Bull I hit you up but you still ain't calling Um Who the fuck

[00:40:55] Who the fuck is like is like going into a convenience store keep hearing like bing bong Bing bong that sorry that's that's on my end. You'll have to uh, you'll have to edit that out That's my dog who's trained to

[00:41:06] Bump his nose on a little thingy to let us know that he wants to go outside. Oh, okay. Okay. Okay um That's it Cereal tier list here we go. Here's the standings d tier fruit loops Sorry c tier honey bunches hboo B tier cap and crunch lucky charms

[00:41:30] A tier fruity pebbles frosted mini-wheats an s tier Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on We have cinnamon toast crunch and Reese's puffs Watching it go in Um, yeah, that's the cereal tier list. Uh

[00:42:03] I don't know how to end this other than I will leave one of these right here. Everybody say bye Bye