[00:00:00] I used to do this thing. I used to get into my Sundance and I used to, there was like this in the town that I grew up in. It was like, there was like this really long stretch of like a road that had a dead end and just like a, almost like a little like park area, like gazebo at the end of it. And I used to, I used to get my friends into my fucking Sundance and be like, you want to see some shit? And I used to fucking reverse the entire way at full speed down this road.

[00:00:30] And then, and then swing it around and do like a full, like a shaft kind of thing. Oh yeah. Like, oh man, it was insane. And people would be like, what the fuck man? Like, like I'm putting people's lives in jeopardy and I'm like, want to see some shit? What it do everybody. My name is Aaron and my name is actually Jerry. I lied.

[00:00:59] And my name is Aaron and I can do that thing where you rub your belly and pat your head at the same time, but who gives a shit? Who am I? Uh, you're listening to SuperPod Saga. Yeah. Welcome back to SuperPod Saga people. Hey, it's the greatest collaboration of all time.

[00:01:25] For any first timers, for any newbies, Jerry and I were on a quest to discuss every last video game topic in existence week by week. What are we, what are we doing this week, Jerry? I don't know. I don't know what we do any, anymore. I don't know what any of this is. I don't even know what. I don't even know who I am. I don't know who I am. I thought I was Jerry. You're talking to me like I'm Jerry, but you just said, um, Aaron or something. I don't know, dude. We're doing some fucking draft. What's, you, what, you pitched this to me and my brain melted.

[00:01:54] Good. Okay. So listeners, I hope your brain also melts. This week we're doing our, we're doing the very first SuperPod Saga launch titled Draft Stravaganza. That is. Draft Stravaganza. Yeah. It's funny because the document's still all in Scandinavian from when I was in Finland. So drafts, drafts, whatever the fuck you just said. What is it? Looks Scandinavian.

[00:02:17] But first, uh, listeners do us a solid. Go to superpodsaga.com. Check out all of our episodes and socials and all that shit. Links to your favorite player. You can find our Patreon there too. Two or four dollars a month. Help, uh, help your brothers out. We're actually your brothers, your long lost brothers. Brothers in Christ. Yep. In Christ. And you want rate and review the show. Wherever you listen to us, rate and review the show, please. That helps us out. Enough about us though. Let's, let's introduce our guest.

[00:02:43] So Keith, this is kind of a returning guest. We recorded an episode many moons ago with Nave that ended up, ended up getting lost because, uh, basically I fucked up. We tried to fix it, but, uh, yeah, we have Keith from Main Quest. Hello. Hey, it's good to be back. Thanks for, uh, having me back on. Appreciate it. Damn straight. It's been a long time coming. Yeah. I forget when we did that episode. It was all about video game mysteries and it was, it was fucking awesome. Right, right.

[00:03:11] Real sad to see it go because we talked about a lot of Half-Life. Uh, you should just release it anyways. Oh, you remembered. I remember a little bit of it. I don't remember shit. Just release it and just put a disclaimer at the top of me like, my voice fucking sucks in this episode. Sorry. Everybody else is fine. Might have to do that with the, uh, the video game creatures as pets one, two. They got fucked up because of like, we were having a, basically a hurricane or some shit. And, uh, my internet kept dropping out. Remember that, Jerry?

[00:03:41] Yes. Oh, I remember. It wasn't a hurricane listeners. I'm in Iowa. There's zero hurricanes in Iowa. I'm just being fucking silly. You know what's funny too? You, the, the first episode that I did with you got fucked up too. Oh yeah, the Zelda one. Yeah, we, we lost, I think it was half of yours. Yeah, like half an hour or something of fucking shit. It was good though. The dribble land switch, we lost that whole bit and that sucks. Yeah. It's too bad.

[00:04:08] But yeah, uh, Keith for, for anyone that hasn't heard of you or your show, go ahead and plug anything and everything. Your show, uh, if you do a blog, if you make, if you do like ice sculptures, go ahead and plug that too. Go ahead. Floor is yours. Ice sculptures. Is that because I live in Wisconsin? Am I being typecasted here? No, no. Um, yeah, I host the main quest podcast.

[00:04:32] It is a retro gaming podcast and, uh, it pretty much pertains to the library of games that I grew up with. So if you think you're going to hear an episode on act razor, you're not going to, cause I didn't play it growing up. We, I just wrapped up a listener request month, um, by the time this comes out. So, I mean, never say never. There could be an act razor episode. Maybe. Hell yeah. I hope so. So, yeah, it's, uh, just be kind of, uh, reliving my memories and seeing if a lot of those games still hold up today.

[00:05:03] Um, had plenty of people on within your community. Um, I need to have you guys on at some point. I need to float that document to you guys so you guys can sign up. Yes. Um, cause I'm going to be covering super Nintendo games pretty soon. And by the time this episode airs, uh, you can listen to an episode on virtual racing for the 32 X and, uh, God. God. Yeah. That episode about Knuckles Chaotix was, uh, it was good. Like that, that game is, it's a game.

[00:05:33] It certainly is. Put that on the box. This game is a game. Um, you can play it. Yeah. It's, uh, the third. Yeah. The 32 X is a weird phenomenon. Is that the right word I want to use? Um, yeah. So it'll be my, uh, virtual racing will be my last 32 X game. I talk about unfortunate, fortunately or unfortunately. Yes. That's how you look at it. Yes. Yeah.

[00:06:01] Um, but yeah, you can pretty much find that on any podcast app that you listen to. Nice. Keith, for any of our first time guests, we like to ask you a question to get to know you just a little bit better. What is your favorite gaming memory? My favorite gaming memory. Yeah. Um, well, I sold a bunch of pornography to my friend for beetle adventure racing. Oh, that's a good game. That was fucking awesome. What kind of porn was it?

[00:06:29] Uh, we like talking hustler or like movies or it was a variety of. Yeah. It was a variety of magazines. Oh, fuck. Yeah. I found, uh, I was, it was in my hometown and this was, I don't know. I was probably like 12 years old and behind one of like the strip malls, there's a dumpster just box full of pornography basically, which I had like consumed.

[00:06:59] I did what I needed to do with it. Consumed. I like putting it that way. Yes. Uh, I, I, I like to go to my den and consume my pornography. That's my consummation dem. My consumption dem. Not consummation. What the fuck? Karen, please leave. I am arriving soon. I must consume these pornographies. Yeah. It's, uh, so.

[00:07:32] And I told my friend about it and he was like, oh yeah. When I get rid of this boner, I'm going to give you a fucking game. That's going to rock your world. That's basically how it went down. Yeah. Because I mean, back in the day, you know, you didn't have the internet. It just wasn't readily, the stuff wasn't readily available. Dude, you guys ever draw boobs or something? Like on a piece of paper and just be like, good enough. I've done that.

[00:08:02] I've been hard up. Like with chalk on the, on the sidewalk or something? On your driveway. Yeah, dude. Just trying to draw these big dicks and tits and fucking badges and shit all over your driveway in like all kinds of different colors. But anyone walks by. It's for anatomy class. It's fine. It's for anatomy. It starts to rain. It looks like the saddest pair of tits you've ever seen. Running down the sidewalk. Oh God.

[00:08:31] Oh, it's so good. That's enough. I mean, you can, you can keep, if there's more stories you have, you can go ahead. But that one was really fucking good. That is the story. I mean, that's, I would tell every, I would have that on my tombstone. The great thing was, is Beetle Adventure Racing is an awesome game. That's a good fucking game. Yeah. I went out on that trade. Yeah. I remember the first time I ever came across a pornographic magazine was, uh, I found it all the way, like in the back of my, um, my stepdad's closet, like behind a bunch of his boxes.

[00:09:01] We were looking for, we were looking for clothes for something. I forget, but I found it stuffed behind a box and I was like, dude, sweet. Then yeah. Yeah. That was, that was pretty cool. I'll never forget the first time, like actually seeing porn. I was at like, Oh, that's how it goes. Okay. I was at a friend's house and his like, it was like the first time I was ever at somebody's house where I was like, Hey man, where's your parents? And he was like, Hmm, I don't know.

[00:09:30] Like this is in like grade five. And his parents are just like, not around. And he's like, Hey, you want to see something crazy? Watch what happens when you go to the computer on the intern on Netscape navigator. And then you just type in sex.com. Watch this. And he did it. And then it was just like, it was just like this insane, like pop up fucking just, it was

[00:09:55] literally like he went to sex.com or like went to ask Jeeves or Alta Vista and was like sex, sex pics or like boobs. Like we did the thing that you joke about. Like we just went to the internet was like boobs, show me boobs. And then if you go to sex.com now, it's actually a good website. And let me, yeah, it looks, I'm just kidding. It's a legit website. Trust me. I've went, I've went back.

[00:10:24] I've, I've, I've relived. Um, but back then it was like, I was like the domain wasn't owned by anything. It was just like a pop up fucking extravaganza. And like, I remember just like, I, we were standing in front of the computer and then I ended up like, I, I walked back like six steps and was like, Oh shit. We're not allowed to look at this. And he's like, yeah, watch this. And he like was just clicking on like crazy pictures and shit. And I was like, holy shit.

[00:10:53] Like that was more. Or I mean, I, I grew up in that moment. Like I found Jesus that day. If more so than if Jesus had sick tits, I always laugh at that term. Sick tits. Cause I, I, I also grew up saying like, yeah, that's sick. Yeah, dude.

[00:11:19] But I also, whenever somebody says sick tits, I always picture like tits on a sick person that I'm just like, yeah, my tits aren't doing so good. I think that might be a category on sex.com. Sick tits. Yeah. Good sex. Porn or something. Dot gov. Porn. Dot gov. Just a picture of Mike Pence. I want to see if that's available. Hold on.

[00:11:51] Porn. Dick Cheney with his fucking rictus grin. No, you want to talk about sick tits? Fucking. Get those Hillary Clinton tits up on the site. Those gotta be some sick tits. Dude. Yeah. They're very sick. They're so fucking ill, dude. Like. Licensed to ill.

[00:12:24] Oh, hey, we've got news. Yeah, we sure do. Hillary Clinton's tits are on sex.org. Oh, shit. And porn.gov. I don't know what's better. Porn.gov or sex. No, sex.gov sounds like it's educational. Yeah, porn.gov. The real pizza gate is the fact that her nipples look like pepperonis. Oh, damn. You've ruined pepperonis for me forever. Not me. Think of Hillary Clinton's. Fucking lap them shits up.

[00:12:54] Oh, fuck. We've got news. There's news. There's not bad. Oh, super important breaking news, people. Hey, so GOG's game preservation project, which is fucking dope. They just released. They just keep doing it. Like, I don't know how they're doing it. The list of games is fucking gigantic, too. Like, I voted on, like, seven last night. There was Shin Megami Tensei Strange Journey. What? Fucking Radiata Stories.

[00:13:24] They've got, like, everything on that motherfucker. Radiata Stories? What? Yeah, from PS2. That's wild. It's awesome. Yeah, so Breath of the Fire 4 is now on GOG. You can buy. Anyway, there was a PC version that was released back in 2000-whatever on, only in Europe and Japan. But boom, it's on PC. They've added quality of life fixes, made it look a little bit prettier. It's on PC. It's available. Of course, DRM free because it's on GOG. Thank you, GOG. I love you. Thank you, GOG.

[00:13:54] Thank you, GOG. Doing GOG's work. And I really hope that they can start, like, really flexing this preservation thing because, like, there's a couple of games I really wish, really, really wish they would bring to PC. Shadow Arts. Shadow Arts, please. I mean, sure. Dude, fucking Condemned 2? Imagine getting Condemned 2 in 60 FPS now.

[00:14:22] Or just, like, not running like trash. That game is really good. I mean, both of those Condemned games are cool games. By Monolith, the ones that did not... Not Xenoblade Monolith? Not those guys. I think they're called Monolith Soft. Yeah. But Monolith, the guys that did, like, Fear, they did the Condemned games. Hell yeah. It would be cool to get those on PC. So, kill. Kill. It's probably up on their list. You gotta go look.

[00:14:52] Is it, though? Maybe. Anyway, though, yeah. Yeah. Inbernick and RetroTank and Retroid and a few other companies that are based in China or manufactured in China, they're suspending pre-orders and shipments from, obviously, China to the U.S. Because of the tariffs. Inbernick, at least, though, they have a warehouse in the U.S. that's very well stocked. So, like, when they... I guess, like, before the tariffs, they would ship a surplus of stuff from China to their warehouse in the U.S.

[00:15:20] And then you could ship from the U.S. to, of course, anywhere in the U.S. for faster shipping. But... So, you could still, hopefully, get shit from their U.S. warehouse. Other places, I don't think so. Which sucks. Yeah, it does suck. I am hoping to get a RetroTank this year, especially when that new one comes out. The one that's, like, not as expensive. Have you seen that? No, I haven't. They're all expensive. There's a new RetroTank that's coming out that...

[00:15:50] It's like the RetroTank S or something. I don't know. I can't remember the exact name for it. But it is a little bit cheaper than the original. And it's only missing, like, a couple of different features. Like, it's not really missing that much. I mean, for myself, all I really want to do is have the ability to upscale things. All my, like, all my RetroTank. Because I'll run all of my RetroTank through that tank. And then I'll upscale it to 4K.

[00:16:17] And then being able to add those sweet, sweet scan lines to everything. Even, dude, scan lines on Switch games is pretty nuts. I'll take your word for it. It would just feel weird. I've never tried that, yeah. Sea of Stars, you put it in 720, upscale it to 4K. Oh, I thought you were talking about, like, Breath of the Wild. I thought you were talking about, like... Nah, nah, nah, nah. Yeah, same, yeah. No. Cyberpunk on fucking Switch. Throw all those scan lines on. That might make it look better.

[00:16:47] That would fucking barely run. I feel like that game is barely, like... It's just like... It's like... Turn on the scan lines. It's just, like, barely going. That's cool, though. The news that I have is that... Did anybody take part in the Switch pre-orders? I tried. Anybody do that? I tried. I did. So, what a debacle.

[00:17:13] I mean, TLDR, these websites did not get better since the PS5 launch. They have not fucking fixed a thing. Like, nothing is different. The night before the actual, like, pre-order launch, I think Walmart went live at, like, midnight. And all of Walmart just burned to the ground. Like, the whole site was fucked.

[00:17:43] The site was fucked. But my buddy ended up getting one from that one. I was shit out of luck. Didn't get anything. And then the next day... So, I wake up the next day. And I'm like, sweet. I'm going to tune into all the other things. So, Best Buy. We have a pharmacy chain out in Western Canada called London Drugs. They were also doing Switch pre-orders for some reason. At a drugstore? Yeah.

[00:18:13] Well, it's like... They do, like, electronics and shit, too. So, they were doing it, you know, like... Well, Amazon. So, here's the thing. I don't know if you caught this or not. Amazon was invite only. And the only way you could get an invite is if you had Prime. Oh, fuck off. So, like, at first I was like, oh, cool. Like, that's a good way to, like, sort out, like, the bots and the scammers and shit. But then I was like, oh, wait. That's kind of scummy. Because, like...

[00:18:41] Then you're like, oh, I want a pre-order. Well, I guess I better pay for your service to do it. Which is fucking $17 here in the U.S. Like, I'm not... Yeah. I didn't get shit, by the way. I have Amazon Prime. They didn't send me anything. You would have to, like, go to fucking Jeff. Fucking Bezos. Fucking Jeff. And then, yeah. So, Best Buy... Well, actually, GameStop. They were doing, like, in-store pre-orders and stuff, too.

[00:19:10] But you would have to pay 50% down, non-refundable. So, 50% down, non-refundable. And I was like, eh, it's... Yeah, okay. Best Buy was $10 down, in-store. Refundable. That morning, Best Buy... Like, all these places, their sites were just burning to the ground. Like, nothing was working right. So, I was like, fuck this. I'm gonna go to Best Buy. So, I go to Best Buy. It opens at 10.

[00:19:40] I'm there at 9.30. Not really anybody around. Start seeing some people, like, heading towards, like, the doors. So, I was like, okay, I better get up and get in line. So, I'm in line. The dude comes, opens the door. He's like, you guys all here for Switch 2 pre-orders? We were like, yep. And he's like, yeah, we're not doing those. And we were like, uh, what? He's like, yeah, we're not doing in-store. It's just online only. We were like, since when? He's like, they, like, made the decision last night.

[00:20:09] And we were like, the fuck, dude? And he's like, yeah, just go on the website. All of us. Every single person in the line. We're, like, getting our phones. They'd be like, your site is fucked. Your site's fucked, dude. And the guy's like, I'm just the manager here. And, like, I thought this guy was going to get, like, fucking, like, Black Friday trampled. Because, like, everybody was losing. Like, everybody's like, the fuck, dude? And he's like, just go on the site. I swear to God. It works. I promise. It works. It did. I ended up getting a pre-order on Best Buy.

[00:20:38] But it was like, I got into a queue. And then that kicked me from my browser to the app, which I got into another queue. And it was a whole mess. But I got my Switch 2 pre-order. That's what happened to me. What a debacle. I stayed up until midnight. Like, I was finishing watching a show anyway. So it's like, okay, whatever. Might as well get my phone out. Go on to Best Buy's website. And, yeah, it was, like, waiting in line. And it had, like, the little circle waiting bullshit.

[00:21:05] And I kept tapping my phone to make sure I didn't fall asleep. Like, every 15 seconds I tapped my phone. And after, like, 45 minutes I was like, I'll just look in the morning, man. This is stupid. And then, yeah, lo and behold, in the morning, it's all gone. Bless you, children. God bless you. I'm not doing that shit. I know. It's so stressful. It's so stupid. I would really wish they had this shit figured out. I would like a Switch 2.

[00:21:35] But it sounds like it's going to be a really great console in, like, three years. Like, I don't. I'm not in any particular hurry. Like, I look at the library that I have on my current Switch. And I have probably, like, 300 games, I think, on that thing. Oh, yeah. Of maybe. I think I've played, like, 20. So I'm, like, in no particular hurry to get an upgrade, so to speak.

[00:22:00] And I'm sure once the Switch 2 comes out, they're going to start discounting a shit ton of, I almost said regular Switch. Original Switch games. Regular Switch. We're going back to this. Yeah, maybe. Regular-ass Nintendo. It's true. Maybe. And I think that's it. I don't have anything else in the brain. Do you, Jerry? Is that it? Nope. Nothing's in my brain. All right. News done. No more news. We're done. Last call for news. It's over.

[00:22:35] Now we're on to the draft. That's right. Hey, listeners. It's the draft-stravaganza. We're just going to draft launch titles from three specific systems that we picked. Holy Christ. You got it, baby. I got it. So here's the rules. We're just going to take turns drafting games for each category. I don't know what the turn order is. Of course, Keith can go first. He's our guest. And Jerry, fuck it. You go first. I'll go last. I don't give a shit. But yeah, we'll each take turns drafting games for each category.

[00:23:06] Each category is made up by us. We'll get to those in a minute. Then we'll vote to determine which game we think best fits that category. At the end of the whole thing, whoever gets the most games voted to categories wins a sick prize. I made some cool prizes for us. I'll show them off at the end. Whoever gets second place gets an all right prize. It's still cool, but it's not as good as first place. And the last place gets nothing. Not a goddamn thing. Great. Looking forward to it.

[00:23:36] So here's our draft pool. So last week, we each picked a console. And it kind of worked out really well. I think we kind of each picked one from a different generation. Like the Dreamcast chosen by Keith. That was kind of like a bridge in between 5th and 6th gen. So whatever. Who gives a shit? That's yeah. Jerry chose the GameCube. I chose the TurboGrafx-16. Those are the three consoles that we're picking launch titles from. That's the whole pool.

[00:24:06] And only one game per console per category. Or only one console per category. So like so if we go to the first category. Which is game you want to show your friends. If Keith picks a GameCube game for that category. GameCube is off limits for the rest of that category. Jerry and I can only choose between a game from the Dreamcast or TurboGrafx-16. So basically whoever goes last. Whoever goes first. Can pick fucking anything. Whoever goes last. Which is me. I'm fucked. I'm so fucked.

[00:24:36] You did this to yourself. That's fine. Fuck it. I do this to myself all the time. Self-sabotage. So here's the categories. Self-sabotage on porn.gov. Slash. What the fuck is it? Slash Christ Alive. Gov.org. That's for the DLC. Oh shit. My bad. So yeah. Here are the categories. Keith came up with two. Because he's our guest. He made Game You Want to Show Your Friends. And Original IP. Jerry came up with Destined for a Bargain Bin at Kmart. Which is awesome.

[00:25:04] I wish I would have picked that one. Mine is just most likely to make you rage. But yeah. Good shit. Cool. Cool. Let's fucking do it. All right. Let's do it. You want to start with them in order? Or do you want to pick a. No. I want to fucking. Let's get crazy town with it. All right. Let's go with. Let's go with Jerry's first. Destined for a Bargain Bin at Kmart. All right. Keith. Go ahead and pick. I'm up first. Draft your game. Oh man. So now I'm like.

[00:25:34] Do I pick a good game? Or do I pick a shitty game? Bargain Bin. Oh man. Let's. Let's see. I probably should have actually looked these over. Before coming on. But let's see here. Let's talk it through here. Like. Okay. Looking at GameCube. Which is thinner than I thought it would be. I feel like a lot of these games. games. Pretty much ended up in a bargain bin. Like. Two months. After the console's launch.

[00:26:05] Like. I don't even. Like. What the fuck is expendable for the Dreamcast? Like. I don't even know what that is. Oh dude. Dude. We did a whole episode. Started on Expendable. Launch titles. Yeah. Expendable. Is. Some. Good. Shit. If you have not played it. Oh. Wasn't that the top down shooter? No. It's. It's. I'm pretty sure it's a top down shooter. Is it? Am I thinking of the wrong thing? Oh. Yeah. No. Actually. This game sucks.

[00:26:36] Yeah. I'm thinking. Just throw. Never mind. I'm thinking of something else. And it's not that. I was thinking of that fucking. That Die Hard game. That ended up getting turned into some other game. Like. I can't remember what it's called. Oh. Are you talking about. Die Hard Arcade. For the Saturn. Yes. Die Hard Cade. Die Hard Cade. Yeah. Man. Missed opportunity. To call it that. Right? Uh. Shit. Okay.

[00:27:05] I guess. I will pick. Man. People are going to hate me for saying this. I'm going to pick Sonic Adventure. Sonic Adventure. All right. Because. Even though that's like a popular game. It definitely plays like a bargain bin game. That is. It controls terribly. Yeah. It wouldn't.

[00:27:32] It wouldn't be a guest appearance by me if I didn't make fun of Sonic at some point. So. There it is. You can mark it off your bingo sheet. Boom. There we go. We need to get you and Thrak in a room together. And we just debate. Is Sonic good? I feel like. We've. Thrak. We've had talks about Shadow the Hedgehog plenty of times. Matt Storm would also be disgusted with you. Is Matt Storm?

[00:28:02] I did an entire episode with him on Sonic Adventure. So. He knows. You know Matt. All right. I guess it's my turn. You're next. Huh? TurboGrafx-16 or GameCube? Well. I'm going to. I'm going to throw this out here because this is an easy win for me. Fools. You've. You've overlooked something.

[00:28:27] The biggest bargain bin games are always fucking sports games. All-Star Baseball 2002. Are you kidding me? That. That released as a bargain bin game. That's like. That game is like the equivalent of like direct to video back in the day. Like this game is direct to video. Okay. Like. That's true. Directly to the fucking bargain bin. Directly to the trash can. Yes.

[00:28:56] All-Star Baseball. Get the fuck out of here. All right. You're out of here. Wait. Do they say that in baseball? Yeah. Or three strikes you're out or something. Three strikes you're out. Oh. Fuck. No, dude. I say that to my kids. Batman colon Vengeance doesn't even have any screenshots on this website. Vengeance. Vengeance. That's like the anime version.

[00:29:25] That's the character action game. Vengeance. Avon Batman or some shit. I guess. I'm going with the old TG-16. Dude. Yeah, you are. Fucking. My mind immediately wants to go to China Warrior. I'm curious. Yeah. Cause I was going to pick something from the TurboGrafx. But decided against it. So I'm curious. You know what? China Warrior? That game sucks.

[00:29:55] Big sucks. I'm going to go. I'm going to go. This one's for you, Keith. I'm going Keith Courage in Alpha Zones. That's perfect. That's exactly what I was going to go for. Wasn't that the pack-in for the TurboGrafx-16? Was it? Honestly, I don't even know if I've ever played that. It should not have been. It's a horrible game. There's a lot of TurboGrafx games that I've never played, you know? Or even like thrown on. I have them all in the mister. I should throw them on sometime. Dude, you should.

[00:30:23] Like both Alien Crush and Devil's Crush are really fucking good. Oh, I know those. I'm familiar with those. Alpha Wolf is really good. Or no, Blood Wolf. Never heard of that. I forget what it's called. It's so good you don't know what it's called. Exactly. Yeah, don't feel bad. Like nobody played any TurboGrafx games ever. Except for Retro Hangover Chris. He's like the only other person that ever knows what I'm talking about when I bring up TurboGrafx-16. I covered like eight games when I first started my podcast.

[00:30:52] Oh, really? The first console I covered, yeah. Hell yeah. Those are lost to things to Spotify. Spotify ripped all those down. Really? Not available anymore. Yeah, Spotify sucks now, dude. They did that to Bar Silence, Jameson, Unlockables, Eric. They're doing it to a lot of people. I think Play Along podcast also had some get fucked over. So listeners... Oh, because of the... Yeah, the... Oh, fuck. Listeners, if you're listening and you host a podcast on Spotify for podcasters or whatever, move that shit to a different host.

[00:31:22] Shit sucks. That's your PSA. And Porn.gov. Porn.gov. Porn.gov. Shit, I can't talk anymore. All bricked up. Can't talk about Porn.gov. Yeah, I know. Oh, Keith. We're... This episode has to be called Boners or Beetle Adventure Racing. Beetleboner Adventure Racing? Boner Adventure Racing? Boner. Oh, fuck. That's good.

[00:31:52] Oh, my God. Put that on the box. Drove so fast, I came. It's on the back of the box. A review from Eurogamer. Turned so sharp, I came. A quote from John Stavings. Oh, yep. So, Keith, you're our guest. Go ahead and pick the next category and then pick your game. I will go with a game you want to show your friends. Hmm.

[00:32:18] And I'm going to go with a TurboGrafx game called Dungeon Explorer. Oh. Great fucking soundtrack. Because that is a multiplayer game. Oh, really? It is literally what the game is called. It is a dungeon crawling game. Similar to Zelda. It's kind of ahead of its time for what it is. So, I think back in the day, it's definitely one of those games where I'd be like, hey, guys, I'm like the only kid with a TurboGrafx-16 in the tri-state area.

[00:32:47] Come on over and check this game out. I remember seeing a video of when Lords of Thunder came out on TurboGrafx-16 and they had Tony Hawk out there on the streets trying to shill it to people like, have you played Lords of Thunder on Turbo CD? What? Yeah. Tony Hawk. Yeah. He was out there shilling for it. He's trying to. Like before he had his own game? Yeah. That was way before that. Yeah. TurboGrafx-16 was like SNES and shit.

[00:33:17] Wow. Tony Hawk's origin story starts with Lords of Thunder. Just give me a second, man. I'm looking. There's a lot of shit. I forgot that the Dreamcast had 43 fucking games on its launch day. But game you want to show your friends. You could show them Blue Stinger just to piss them off. Watch me play through the single player game while you sit there and do nothing.

[00:33:45] Oh, and Dogs Talk's real funny. For me, I'm a little bit torn. I feel like it would be like Luigi's Mansion is definitely one that I would like to show my friends. But I don't think I'm going to go with that one because, again, like you said, it's a one player game. The day that the console comes out and you're like, I want to get my friend. I'm even thinking of the Switch 2.

[00:34:12] I'm going to be telling my friends, come over and we're going to play this new fucking Mario Kart. It's going to be awesome. Or here's another perspective for the whole thing. What if your friend gets this one console? Especially back in the day with the console wars. Say your friend gets an Xbox and you're like, dude, I got a GameCube or whatever. Come check out this fucking game. And you slap on fucking Batman Vengeance or something that isn't on another console just to show off. Basically, just showing off to your friends. There's another perspective for you.

[00:34:40] I don't think that would be showing off. Well, no. That was just like... Batman Vengeance? Guys, come over. You're not going to believe this Batman game. And then you lose all of your friends. And then you go to school the next day and get bullied mercilessly. They put you in the corner. This fucking guy invited us over to play Batman Vengeance. On his purple baby console. Yeah. This fucking square.

[00:35:11] We're going to play the fucking square. Here's the thing. I'm going with Dreamcast. Wait, they're all squares. Okay, sorry. Dreamcast on launch day. You know I'm asking all of my friends to come over and play Power Stone. You son of a bitch. Oh, that's a good one. Oh, that's such a good one. Yes. I would totally come over for some Power Stone. Because like Power Stone, even now, I'm like... Like when I got my Dreamcast and I had it all set up and like got Power Stone going

[00:35:39] and I had like my friends come over and I'm like, you guys, we got... Like you're going to shit your pants. Like this is so good. And it does not make sense that this came out so ahead of its time. Like I've like... Oh, God. Power Stone is just such a good multiplayer game. And I mean, if you're listening to this and you haven't heard us rant about Power Stone before on like some of those retro rehab episodes and stuff.

[00:36:04] Before we curse the name Capcom, we were like, remake Power Stone or whatever the fuck. Oh, yeah. But yeah, like Power Stone is almost like a... It's like a top-down Smash. Smash Bros. In a way. Like it's... Yeah. It's one of those. Like it's a brawler. Lots of really cool power-ups. It's such a good like game night game. Like party game. Get your buddies together. And again, the Dreamcast had four inputs.

[00:36:33] Four players. Like I miss that. I miss having a bunch of friends over sitting on the couch, drinking pop, eating pizza, getting your greasy pizza fucking hands all over your brand new controllers. That's why a lot of those consoles look real haggard when you go get some of the used ones these days. Oh, yeah. Have you guys seen the state that some of these fucking consoles are in now? Like I had to deep clean...

[00:37:02] Like I didn't know how to deep clean a console until I bought that Dreamcast. Like it was... Was it really yellow? It was a little... It was a little yellow, but it had like fucking like gunk in every crevice that I had to like take like... I have like a kit for... I don't know. I don't know what the fuck you'd call it. The VMU slot is like notorious for getting a little... Oh, God. Yeah. I had to take apart... It's a gunk in its crevices.

[00:37:32] The controllers completely took apart the console completely, washed everything and like wiped everything down, had to like lay it out as like a fucking like a explosion went off. And it was just like all these pieces all over the place. Had to let them soak and stuff. My Dreamcast controllers are pretty yellow. So I'm not going through the busy work of restoring. Yeah. They're just gonna... It's like a... They're clean. They're just gonna look gross. Yeah. Like I've been smoking for 50 years straight.

[00:38:01] I could take the... I could take like the yellowness of a used console, like retro consoles. But like when you get that grime and shit from like dead skin and fucking Cheetos. Oh, fuck. I hate that dude. Greasy pepperoni fingers. That's so fucking gross. Ugh. Gross. Hey, try having a kid playing with your Switch handheld mode. You're gonna get that thing back and it's gonna look like it was like ducked in chicken grease. And you're gonna be like, where the hell did all this... Where did this come from? Where are these greasy fingerprints? Like holy crap.

[00:38:31] Where did all the slime come from? What the fuck? Right. Well, kids always have slime. Kids love slime. Whatever. There's just human shit smeared across the screen. I'm sure it's happened. I was trying to play Mario Paint. They're trying to access porn.gov on the Switch. On the Switch? Oh my god. On the fucking 3DS web browser? You had to go across both screens? You're doing... Oh my god. That's...

[00:39:00] You should watch two videos at once. Hell yeah, dude. Um... Okay, no, this is such an easy one. I'm going Super Monkey Ball. Actually, I totally would have like... I remember going to a friend's house who had Super Monkey Ball 2 on GameCube and we played the dog fighting mode like over and over and over and bowling. Monkey bowling? Holy shit. That is so fucking good. Super Monkey Ball. Yep. Super Monkey Ball is a good one. Mm-hmm.

[00:39:29] Alright, uh... Jerry, you get to pick the next one. That... Or... Sorry, listeners. We're done with Destin for a Bargain Ben and KMR. We're done with a game you want to show your friends. Now we're on to either original IP or most likely to make you rage. So, Jerry? Let's go with rage. Most likely to make you rage. Alright. Rage games. Let her rip, Keith. Let her rip. Um... Looking through these Dreamcast games and I'm directly looking at Blue Stinger.

[00:39:59] Not gonna go with Pen Pen Tri-Salon? I don't even know what the fuck that is. It's a good game. Oh my god. I remember doing our Dreamcast launch title tier list. And we were like, holy shit, this looks fucking sweet. I know. We were like, what the fuck is this? By the end of it, we were like, this game though, like, fuck Power Stone. Fuck Soul Calibur. Fuck Sonic. It's Pen Pen Tri-Salon. It's a racing game. Interesting. Sort of, yeah. Well... What will make me rage?

[00:40:29] I already got Sonic Adventure on my list. Um... Tarzan Untamed. I mean, I know immediately my picks for this. And I hope that you, uh... You don't take them. Because there's a couple here that I know, like, I have thrown controllers around because of them. Like, like the Legendary Axe, like, I hate that game. I know people like that. Um...

[00:40:58] I don't know if it would make me rage. Is it a tough game or is it just, like, not a good game? Yeah, it's... Yeah, it's got, like, that old school, um... Enemies pop out of nowhere type of bullshit. And also, like, the... Your main attack, you have to charge it. And once you use it... What the fuck? You have to wait for the bar to refill before you can use it again. You can't attack normally? You have to do charge attacks? You can attack normally, but it's not gonna do any damage. What the fuck? What? Yeah, yeah.

[00:41:27] It's just for looks. Uh, I think I'm gonna go with NFL Blitz 2000. Just because I remember back in the day, um, getting pretty... I'm a pretty competitive person. So, when I was playing that with friends, um, I would often get thrown into fits. Because my friends would be kicking my ass. It's also just genuinely a really good game. So, you know, no shade to NFL Blitz.

[00:41:56] I'm bad at it. And, um, yeah. I think just from past experience, that is the one that made me... That made me rage, so... Which... Uh, sorry, which console was that taken from? Dreamcast. Dreamcast, yeah. Okay. Alright, I got mine. What it is. The other game that I was gonna pick was gonna be on Dreamcast, but... I, uh, I was flip... I've been... I was flip-flopping anyways, but...

[00:42:25] On the GameCube... Crazy motherfucking taxi. I have thrown my controller. It has a sense of stress and urgency that's, like, immediate. Also, fuck things with timers. I hate that shit. Even though crazy taxi's good. But, like, anytime I see, like, numbers counting down, I'm like, nope. Nope. Don't want any of this anxiety in my life.

[00:42:55] And I'm pretty sure that's, like, the root of my anxiety stems from, like, childhood things with countdowns. Arcade games. Like Mario? Fuck, man. Or Sonic About to Drown try? Try that at one time. Oh, yeah. That fucking... Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. Like, I'm, like, jumping up and down like a fucking kid. Like, just out of his mind. Just being like, no, no, no, no, no. Sonic, no. And then he makes that gross, like...

[00:43:23] Like, it's like that... Him drown... You watch Sonic drown. At least in Mario, he would just, like, be swimming. And then he'd go limp. He'd go, like... Well, the Mario 64 drowning was so unnecessarily visceral. Just him being, like... Like, struggling and, like, underwater just, like, holding his face and then just... Yeah. Doing, like, a dead man's float. All the while you hear, like... What the fuck?

[00:43:53] You hear dire, dire docks. Like, some of the chillest fucking music ever. Yeah. Meanwhile... Yeah, that's a really fucked up thing to have to go through is having, like, that sweet, chill, dire, dire docks. Like, just soaking that in like a fucking Kenny G saxophone solo. And you're just like, oh, God, this is so... Yeah, so good. And then you got to go through that shit.

[00:44:19] Like, I wasn't ready for that at fucking eight or nine years old or whatever I was. I wasn't able to cope with watching... It'd be like watching fucking Mickey Mouse drown as, like, a child. I'm sure there's a video like that out there somewhere. Mickey Mouse getting fucking brutally murdered or something. But I'm going with China Warrior because that game sucks ass. Does it? I was choosing between China Warrior or R-Type.

[00:44:49] So first of all, China Warrior is a side-scrolling beat-em-up. But, like, there's butterflies that fly at you and you have to try to, like, hit them in the air. But your jump is, like, super fucking quick. So you have to time that shit just right. And it's, uh... Yeah, it sucks. I almost chose R-Type. But at least R-Type, you can memorize the patterns. I don't think there's any kind of pattern in China Warrior. But, yeah. Are you some kind of a savant remembering all the patterns on R-Type? R-Type is fucked, dude.

[00:45:19] Yeah, but you can... When was the last time you threw on R-Type? Like, I think I talked about this maybe a month or so ago. I was trying to play the original R-Type. They had, what is it, R-Types on the PS1 that has, like, a redone version of R-Type. And then R-Type 2, and I was playing those, and... There's too many versions of that game. Yeah, it's a lot. There's a lot of R-Type. Yeah. I'm bad at shooters, so, like, I wouldn't even bother playing that game.

[00:45:49] I had to throw on, like, save states. Like, fucking... I guess, like, back in the day, like, it was alright to have games make you start over when you completely die and run out of lives. But, like, nowadays, I don't have time for that shit. I'm gonna throw on a save state right as soon as I start a stage. And if I die, reload. Start back at the start of the stage, at least. Yep. That's the way. That is the way. We are down to our final category, original IP.

[00:46:19] But before... Should we take an ad break before we get to this last one? Or do you want to take an ad break before we count the votes? Let's do the ad break now. Let's do it. Let's do it! Let's do it. We'll be right back. Feliz Navidad. Feliz Navidad. How about, uh... How often do you guys need sand? Right now? Right then and there? How often do you guys require... Yeah, I... I can't think of a time that I don't need sand.

[00:46:49] Oh. This is perfect for you, then. Introducing Sand On Demand. It's a new mobile phone app that you can download. The app's free. There's no... Well, I mean, I guess there would be a subscription for it. But yeah, you download the app. And the app is just a big button that just says sand. And you push that button. And then, bam. Someone will come to your house within 24 to 48 hours. There'll always be a man named Craig. Fucking Craig. He'll come to your house. Just dump sand right on your front lawn and be like... Is this still Craig?

[00:47:20] Is Craig... Is this his new business? He was doing the taxidermy parties? Yeah, he's doing this on the side. This is a side thing. He's doing this on the side now? Okay. So every time he gets out of his truck to deliver sand, like just a bunch of taxidermy animals fall out. Like, oh, fuck my possum. My party possum. But yeah, so Craig... I mean, like... I've heard of the good work that Craig is doing. I mean, I... I would like to... God bless his heart.

[00:47:47] Tell people that if you use the promo code, which Aaron will give you in a second here, if you use the promo code, Craig's going to show up. I mean, don't just think of it as like, oh, I wish I had some sand from my child's sandbox. Fuck that. Like, you're at a funeral? Dude, what's better than a couple of bags of sand just thrown all over a fucking congregation and just like... We got fucking sand! We got sand!

[00:48:17] We just fucking sand everywhere! We just throw sand everywhere! Yeah, Graham Graham's dead in the fucking casket and you just fill that shit full of sand. People are going up and like kissing her on the forehead and shit. And it's like, that's disgusting. Just throw some sand in that bitch. Yep. Sandblast. Sandblast, dead Graham Graham. Sandblast, grandma's corpse. Oh, man. Yeah. Craig would be happy to come over and blast sandblast grandma. Yeah, you could...

[00:48:46] Yeah, so you push the sand button and you can put in a special note if you want to as to where Craig needs to bring this shit. Otherwise, if you don't give him a note, he'll just dump sand onto your front lawn. Like, no bag. Just taking sand out of his pockets or just cutting the bag open with his cool pocket knife. And don't be alarmed, too. He... Let me paint a picture of this guy. For sure smoking. Won't put it out. He's going to smoke in your house. If he has to come in your house, he's going to smoke in your house. It's just part of the fucking deal. You just leave it alone. It's not even a big...

[00:49:14] It's not that big of a deal that he's constantly smoking. He might ash on your floor, but you can just vacuum it up or rub it in. His belt definitely does not hold his pants up. His pants are too big. And he's... You know, he's... He's always showing off a little bit of Craig crack. Like, it's just hanging out. But, like, he's also just throwing a pinch... Like, he's doing a salt bae on his own crack down his back and into his own crack and just being like, a little sand in my crack. In my Craig crack.

[00:49:44] Craig's crack. Hey, Keith, what's your... What are your favorite parts of sand on demand? What, uh... What, you gonna get a... Fuck. Any good reviews or shit? Oh, I heard that after Milwaukee Brewers owner Mark Anastasio got caught stealing billions of dollars worth of sand that he quickly switched to sand on demand to, you know, beat the allegations and everything. So... Really good to help out, like,

[00:50:13] when you need to build your own private beach home. So... Out of sand? 100%. Yeah. Well, yeah, these billionaires have sandcastles, right? That's what they do. I would. I would. 100% ethically sourced sand. He's just Craig going to, like, a beach, and he's just, like, looking both ways, and he, like, slowly reaches down and, like, grabs a handful, puts it in, like, a Ziploc in his pocket. He's like, heheheheh. Off to the next beach, and then he goes to the next one, and pockets more sand.

[00:50:43] Where do you think Dale got that pocket sand? It came from Craig. God damn it. I was waiting for somebody to bring up the pocket sand. Pocket sand. Sha-sha! Yeah, Craig does the same thing, only when he comes and he's like, hey, fucking sand in my pocket. Ba-ba! And then... Takes a real long drag of that cigarette. He stands there for way too long. Whenever he's threatened, verbally emotionally... Or, not verbally. Verbically. That's like verbally,

[00:51:13] but in a vertical position. There we go. Yeah, whenever he's being threatened, and his immediate reaction is to throw up sand in your face, and then stand there for way too long, smoking an entire cigarette. Did you like that? Was it good for you? Oh, I can't see anything! Oh, my fucking God! Just relax. Just relax. Let the sand do its thing. Wash it out. I only have mouthwash. Wash it out. Oh, boy. Yeah, that's sand on demand.

[00:51:41] If you're poor, you can eat the sand. True. Oh, wait. The subscription price, it's $42 a month, but hear me out. Let's sand literally anytime you need it. Think of which you could feed your family. Or you could build your own beach. Aaron is broken. I am broken. I'm fucking destitute. I have nothing except sand on demand. Show me your sand. What's the promo code?

[00:52:10] Did Craig tell us? He sure did. So, you have to use this special link. It's sand.sex.gov forward slash Christ alive, but on a beach forward slash 42069XXX Craig. And then you have to use the code, which is just sand. But the S is a dollar sign. And then boom. Yeah, you get a discount. You get one month discount. It's only like 10%, but it's a discount. If you go on to the website,

[00:52:41] the website is just a blank website with a bunch of really old website gifs flashing and shit. And it has like the stars background that flickers. And it's just a giant picture that rotates of Craig's phone number. And if you call Craig, he'll tell you, you got to go through the app. Stop calling my number. And it's like, well, that's the only thing that's on the website.

[00:53:10] Just like Best Buy. He's the best buy of sand. But if you text a picture of your own crack filled with sand, he'll give you a discount. There's a double discount. You can do double discount. Okay. Double discount. You use the promo code at the cart, but you go to his website. Don't call him though, for fuck's sakes. You don't call him. You text him,

[00:53:38] picture of sand in your crack. Crack. That's how you get the additional 1.6% off. Man, he's really damn. Okay. How long is that 1.6 discount good for? Is that just the first month or two months? It's for today. Oh, just this very day. That's it? Actually. So yeah, by the time this comes out, it's not going to be, you know what? Fuck it. Send Craig. It's on demand though. Send Craig your cracks. Cracks for Craig. Cracks for Craig.

[00:54:09] Holy shit. Keith, is there anything else you want to, you want to tell us about sand on demand or? Uh, no. Sorry, you caught me off guard. I was doing, I was, I was asking chat, chat GPT about sand on demand. And they said they cannot provide, uh, explicit or suggestive things. So I don't know what that means. Get more information at porn.gov. Exactly. Don't let the URL fool you.

[00:54:38] It's actually all about sand. You think sand and like sexual manners. Anyway, thanks. Thanks. Thanks cracks for sponsoring this episode. I'm going to wish you a merry Christmas from the bottom of my heart. And you're talking to your- Back. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. All right. So last but not least, original IP. Keith,

[00:55:08] you have the floor. Well, does Mortal Kombat count? Because it's a sequel, but technically- That could be- That's the new IP. It's Mortal Kombat. It's not Mortal Kombat. It's not related. It's Mortal Kombat gold. Gold. Gold. Yeah. There was never another Mortal Kombat gold. Mortal Kombat sand. Dude. Sand. Was there a sand level in there? No, I think Mortal Kombat 3 had the sand level. 3, yeah, where you can hit them,

[00:55:37] and you can see like Cyrax, like drowning in the quicksand in the background. Yeah, you don't want to get sand in your cyborgs. No. Oh, no, you don't. You don't want to get the sand out of there. Cyborg sand. Sandy cyborg. No, like stuff- I mean, if you're looking for original IPs, I mean, I'm gonna- Expendable would be one. Flag to flag. Hydro Thunder. I think I'm eyeing up, because I don't have a GameCube game on my list yet.

[00:56:05] I'm going to go with the Luigi's Mansion. Ooh. By the way- Luigi's Mansion. The best. Is my favorite fucking launch title ever made. It's such a good game. I hated that game when I first got it. Same. Only because I was like really salty about- I was really sandy too, about not having a Mario game with the GameCube that I bought. Right. But once I started playing Luigi's Mansion, I'm like, this- This is great. Yeah. Yeah.

[00:56:35] I mean, it's not exactly what I wanted. I didn't ask for this, but I like it. So, yeah. Resident Evil-y Luigi. Yeah. Sucking up those ghosts. Sucking on some ghosts. Yeah. Sucking on some ghosts. Suck on these ghosts. Jerry. All the ectoplasm. Oh, yeah. Oh, I got ectoplasm all over myself. Suck me till I plazzo. That's just like a smoker voice ghost. Oh, no. Oh.

[00:57:05] Oh. I don't know why I pictured Slimer saying that. Oh, yeah. He totally would say that. He's got like a big old cigarette going. You ever see somebody that looks like Slimer? Always at truck stops. I've seen people that looked like Slimer, and I'm like, you could do better with yourself. You could do better. You could probably fix yourself up a little better than that. If Slimer is a ghost,

[00:57:35] then it's weird to assume that in life, that's kind of what he looked like, right? Or a Slimer or a demon. I never thought about that. Yeah. Uh-huh. What did he do in his real life that he was always so slimy? Well, he didn't have legs. True. Maybe he was a snail. I don't know. Don't know. Jerry picking him. He's a real weird dude. Um, original IP. Good God almighty.

[00:58:05] I guess I'm gonna have to go with Alien Crush. Nice. Good. Yep. Fucking on the Turbo Graphics 16. Alien Crush. If you don't know what that is, it's demonic pinball, similar to Devil's Crush, which came afterwards. But Alien Crush was the first one, and it looked like, it looked like Alien, like HR Giger alien stuff. It was like horrific looking, and it was pinball.

[00:58:35] It was crazy. And they had- Bosses and shit. They had another one that was Japan only on, I think Super Nintendo called- Japonly. Called Japonly. That should be the new term for Japan only. Japonly. They had Jockey's Crush, and it was like Japanese folklore based. That's pretty good too. Oh yeah. Let's see. So Dreamcast. Insanely good pixel artwork. Yeah. On those games. Yes.

[00:59:05] Oh man. They did. You want to talk about some scan lines, baby? Oh yeah. Some scan lines on some Devil's Crush, or Alien Crush. All those old consoles, I was telling Aaron, I can't play those games anymore without scan lines. That's part of the reason why, yeah, Nintendo Switch Online is good. I like that. I like that they're doing that thing, even though I feel like it could be a little better. But man, just add scan lines to everything.

[00:59:33] Allow me to do proper scan lines with an integer scale. Aaron, did you pick yet? I'm talking so that you could pick. Motherfucker, do it. I'm picking, but I'm going to pick Soul Calibur, even though I know Soul Edge came before it, but no one, I'm sure nobody has played Soul Edge. Nobody knows that. That game doesn't exist. Okay. Okay. Thank you. Soul Calibur. I'll allow it.

[01:00:15] Well, that's it. That's all of our picks, reach category. So now we're on to the second stage. We're going to all vote to decide which game forever wins that category until the end of time. We're going to start off with game you want to show your friends. So Keith picked Dungeon Explorer. Jerry picked Power Stone. And Aaron, that sandy bitch, picked Super Monkey Ball. Get your friends over and show them your Super Monkey Ball. Show them your sandy crack.

[01:00:45] All right, boys, how are we voting? Who, what do you mean, how are we voting? I'm voting for my own shit. Yeah, I'm going to vote for my shit too. Oh, God damn it. So it's all down to me. Hmm. What do you mean? Well, we each pick for like which, which pick or like which game we think best fits that category. So I guess, yeah, we, hmm, maybe we should think of a better way. I did that already. Yeah, we are, we need to pick one to represent that category.

[01:01:14] I pick my own game for every single category. How about this? What if we, what if we go through like Metacritic scores or something and the highest one wins? Should we do that? Does anything on the TurboGrafx-16 have a Metacritic score? Maybe not, but we'll see. Okay, so Dungeon Explorer has 65%. All right. 65%

[01:01:45] Powerstone has 74%. It's lower than I thought, but okay. Super Monkey Ball 1. Super Monkey Game Cube has to be the Game Cube. Super Monkey Ball. Super Monkey Ball. 75. Aaron slides in for the fucking win. You piece of shit. You piece of shit with your fucking monkey balls. You know it's not as good as Powerstone.

[01:02:14] You fucker. You know it's not as good as Powerstone. Fuck you, I win. Next one is Original IP. First up, Luigi's Mansion. I have a feeling Aaron's going to get this one too. I don't know, man. This bitch. This is, I feel like we all picked good ones. Yes. 80%. 80? Okay, that's going to be kind of hard to beat, I feel like. Alien Crush. Alien Crush. Alien Crotch? Oh,

[01:02:44] 69%, dude. Porn.gov. Oh, fuck. Soul Calibur. Soul Calibur. Come on. Soul Calibur won. 84% you. I knew it. Oh, yes. God damn it. All right. Next up, most likely to make you rage. We have NFL Blitz 2000. Oh, Jerry's got this. He's got this one in the bag, man.

[01:03:14] Oh, crazy taxi. If we picked pretty poopy ones, 80% for NFL Blitz 2000. Okay. Maybe not. Oh, crazy taxi. I am in danger. I think crazy taxi. Crazy taxi. You got five crazy minutes. 72%. What? Whoa. Okay. I think Keith, Keith, if you don't win this, I'm surprised.

[01:03:43] Is there any point of even looking up? I don't know. So I'm doing it anyways. Shut the fuck up. 28% for China. That sounds about right. Wait, hang on. I want to, I want to just see something for a second. China warrior. I want to see what the retire rate is on this. Oh, it's not as high as I thought.

[01:04:13] Okay. Last, the last, last category. Destined for a bargain bin at Kmart, RIP Kmart. Sonic Adventure is the first one. Sonic Adventure has 76%. Starting high. All-star baseball. All-star baseball. Baseball. 2002. 32%. Oh no.

[01:04:42] I don't have high hopes for mine. Keith, courage in alpha zones. Yeah. You might have like the worst scoring games on this entire list. 60%. What? Holy shit. Okay. Oh God. Okay. Okay. So now what is, now it's tied.

[01:05:05] I am going to get you each to pick one game from the remaining games from each console that you picked. So, uh, Keith, for you, it's going to be the Dreamcast. And Aaron, it's going to be you. I'm not going to tell you what I'm judging this on, but you're going to pick one game. Shit. And then I'm going to give you the category. R type. I only have five games left. God damn. Um, Keith,

[01:05:35] you've got Arrow Wings, Air Force Delta, Blue Stinger, Hydro Thunder. Holy shit. Uh, I'm going to go with, uh, I'm going to go with the House of the Dead 2. The category is, launch title, most likely to get a remake. I feel like Keith probably wins this. I feel like, yeah, yeah. R type has already been. R type has already been. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

[01:06:04] So Keith wins. Keith wins. Keith wins. Okay, great. Woohoo. All right. Yeah. I'm going to give out the prizes. Sweet. Fun inside story. Inside baseball. Uh, I made up that in a way that Keith would win because I'm not letting Aaron win this thing with a guest. Like we're going to let fucking Keith win. Okay. That was literally all for nothing. I mean, our type literally has like seven remakes. So like he should have just won by default. So yeah, yeah, yeah.

[01:06:34] So Keith wins. Keith, our guest. He wins. Thank you. And eat dog shit. When should I, when should I expect, when should I expect my free package of sand? Oh, I mean, we're not, whenever you pay them, whenever you pay the $42 subscription. Oh, I thought, oh, that's not the problem. Wait, wait, I'm going to Keith. We're not fucking made of money, dude. Okay. I'm not made of sand. Uh,

[01:07:03] if you boys open up the group chat and discord, I'm going to send out the prizes there. You know what? No, I'm not Jerry. You can still have second prize. I'm going to be generous. Yeah, you do. You're, you're going to want it. I promise. If this is a dick pic, I swear. It's not. I promise. Hold on. It's going to be boners.org. Boners. Dot com. Boner adventure racing. All right, Keith, here's first prize. I'm ready.

[01:07:32] I made this with my own two hands. You made this? Yeah, dude. This is a great. It's the waifu cup. Okay. Uh, what I'm saying, let me, let me describe what I'm saying here. Um, I am seeing a giant, uh, golden cup that has a heart on it and a bunch of waifus. Um, all pulled off of Google as Googled waifus. And then I don't see,

[01:08:01] I don't see not one fucking waifu on this that I would J my D to. Not one, not one, not one. Oh man. Well, let me take a closer look. And you know what, Keith, this is your prize. You do that as you wish. You can, you can send it off onto social media. Be like, Hey guys, I won this in a very cool and fair competition. Oh, I'm already on it. This is my prize.

[01:08:31] All right. Here is a second place. Hold on. It's uploading. Here you go, Jerry. This is for you. A Sundance. No, it's a Toyota Corolla. You win a J. Nice. You won a Toyota Corolla. Yeah. A JPEG of one, but it's a, it's a Toyota Corolla. Nonetheless, I really wish it was a gift, but oh, well, I'll take what I can get. we'll have to do a part two to this with, with different consoles. And, uh,

[01:09:00] what next time we should all put a, put a prize into the prize pool. And then we'll just like draw for prizes or something next time. Or like we pick who gets what. I don't know. That'd be kind of cool. Yeah. Well, Keith, just fucking profile photo on discord to the, to the waifu cup. I'm proud of the waifu cup. I've earned this shit. Yeah. God damn right. You have. Fuck. Yeah. Look at that. That's awesome.

[01:09:28] I stumbled into the waifu cup. The waifu cup chose me. Yeah. I was about to say that too. You didn't choose the waifu cup. It chose you. Sweet. Well, that was, that was a lot of fun.

[01:09:58] That was really good. Uh, unfortunately now is the saddest time. It's the saddest. What time is it? What time is it? Hit it. Random Recommendated Games. You know what time it is? Saddest part. Most generous, generous lovers over here. We, uh, we always leave you with something, a random recommended game. And, uh,

[01:10:25] today I would like to give Keith the floor. Sure. As the guest to recommend us something. Well, we've been talking about shooters a lot, not a lot, but we brought up our type plenty of times. And earlier in the episode, Aaron was talking about good old games, uh, bringing back old video games and, and, uh, what's the word I'm looking for? Not documenting them, but, Oh, preserving them. Preserving them. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

[01:10:55] Like a jar of marmalade. Yeah. And from, uh, I w I was going to bust my nut. Talk about this game. I was talking about this game when we were talking about the news, but I saved it. I edged the entire podcast to talk about this. Here comes the come. If you will. And it's apropos for. Sorry, Keith. Sorry, go ahead.

[01:11:24] No, it's, it's apropos for the video game that I'm choosing. Uh, it's a game called steam hearts, which is basically, uh, a pornographic shooter from, um, for the PC 88. Uh, I played the Sega Saturn version specifically. Oh my God. And it just recently got a steam release, but it's all edited. Oh, so it's like, it's like, okay.

[01:11:53] So this game that only was Japan only, um, also on the Saturn. So like nobody had any of those. So it's like kind of a rare release. And then you put it out on steam, but it's like heavily edited. And it's, uh, it's weird because like the actual game isn't like crazy pornographic. Like you see some cleavage and stuff, but that's kind of, uh, I mean, the picture I'm looking at right now. Whoops. Nope. That's not.

[01:12:26] Yeah. Are you on porn down porn.gov right now? Check it out. Uh, no, no, no, no, no. Um, but what the, why can't, it's really, it's really not that bad. Um, especially compared to, you know, 2025 standards where, I see a tit and someone with their hands shoved down another person's pants,

[01:12:55] giving them all good old fashioned flick. That's what I'm seeing. It's not as terrible. Is it? Uh, I mean, there's not that terrible about it to be. No. Anyway, I'm, I mean, I mean, I'm into it. I'm probably going to play this game. It's like pornography aside. Uh, it's a really good shooter. Like it is a gorgeous fucking game, man. Like it looks so good. It runs really smooth. Um, and as somebody like I'm terrible at, like I mentioned earlier, I'm terrible at shooters, uh,

[01:13:25] really forgiving as far as the continues go, because I think they want you to experience the, uh, they want you to come. They want, they want you to get there. Um, and I, I obviously played the Japanese version. So I had no idea what anybody was saying at any given time. I was just like, yeah, okay. This is, uh, well, this is certainly happening right now. I get, okay. I guess I'm going to go shoot stuff now. Um, and it definitely lets you shoot if you know what I mean.

[01:13:55] That's my recommendation. It's a really cool fucking Sega Saturn game. God damn it. You heard it here first folks. One Keith, you won random recommended cup. Uh, I didn't make a prize for that, but that was, yeah, that was good. Fuck. I wish I'd recommended a hentai game. Make me another waifu cup. Oh my God. We should just, we should just do an episode with hentai. We should just fucking do it and get it over with. We should fucking do it, dude. Yeah. Top hentai games. 2025. Am I going to be your guest again? Cause,

[01:14:25] well, I don't want to, I don't want to, I don't want to corner myself, but. Uh, whatever you're into. Novel console, Chris, he knows a lot. Chris loves those games. Oh yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. We were talking about steam hearts actually when I was playing it. Yeah. Yeah. He recommended one on our anti game of the year one time, uh, which the format of this episode is basically what anti game of the year was. Um, but with way more nave and track. Yeah. Um, so yeah, the, the,

[01:14:55] I remember Chris talking about cookie cutter, which is like, I think that is very sexual. It's very sexual. It's like a Metroidvania. It's a Metroidvania. Yeah. And it's like super gory and shit. It's a good game. Threw it on. Let's go in reverse order. I'm going to talk about nubbies number factory. It's fuck is what the fuck dude? I don't know what it is with, uh, with these like pachinko deck building roguelikes, but I fucking love them, man. I'm a sucker for, for deck builders.

[01:15:23] And ever since these fucking pachinko deck builders came out, I've been like, like just put it, just put it in, put that fucking needle in me, man. I want it now. And nubbies number factory has this like weird, like, um, the art style is really hard for me to explain. It's like a, like an almost like early internet, my space kind of look to it where everything is like, it's got like the same two frames repeated over and over.

[01:15:49] And it's got like a windows 98 S kind of art style kind of thing. And so, yeah, it's just like you, there's this little ball named nubby. That's your, your ball that you'll just shoot at, at little pegs. And every time you hit a peg, depending on what items you have collected throughout your run, it will trigger certain effects. And the items are stupid. Like one is called pants and it's just a pair of legs that walk. There's one called poop butt. And it's just another, uh, uh, I almost said gubby.

[01:16:19] It's another nubby, but with feet and their items are all wacky and insane. And you can break the game pretty fucking easily too. If you just pick shit that you think synergizes really well together and you'll see the ball, like bouncing back and forth, like faster than you can fucking comprehend. And you're racking up points and you're like, Oh, big money. Uh, there's like a certain amount of points that you have to get each round in order to win. And yeah, it's, it's really fucking fun. There's different characters you can pick for your,

[01:16:49] your supervisor, which gives you different abilities and yeah, shit's fun. Nubby's number factory. It's pretty fucking cheap on steam. So go buy it. Yeah. Deck builders. Um, pretty hit or miss with me. I can't, uh, I don't know something about card games. Just like Bellatro. Have you played Bellatro? Oh yeah. I know it's probably completely different setup, but, um, man, I don't like RNG. I get no fucking power in that game.

[01:17:19] To do what I wanted to do. I get that ship. I have that. Like, I'm probably the only person in the world. I haven't beaten slay the spire with, uh, I think at all, like every time I get really close to beating the final boss with any character, I always get like the shittiest fucking hand and I die and have to start all over. And it's like, fuck, I, this game is so good, but also fuck. That's one of those games that I like want to try. Cause I hear like such good things about it. And then I'm just like, I don't know.

[01:17:48] Am I going to be wasting my money on this? Am I, am I even going to like it? It's on sale a lot. I mean, I think you get it on your phone as well too. I wish I had the confidence to get it. If you have an Android download Google opinion rewards and every now and again, you can do surveys for like, for like 10 cents to a buck. And then just save that shit up, buy some cheap mobile games, take you like maybe a month and you'll have like five bucks racked up. It's pretty sweet. That sounds like an awful idea. It's awesome. I do it all the time. Now it's your turn.

[01:18:18] Hey, so I was going to recommend, I'll tell you what I was going to recommend at first. We're going to recommend. Cause I can't stop fucking playing it, man. I can't stop fucking playing Pokemon trading card game pocket TCG pocket. I can't stop playing it. I didn't know how to play the Pokemon card game like four weeks ago. And now I'm like obsessed with every day, getting that notification.

[01:18:48] Like you can open a booster back now. And I'm like, yes, give me dopamine. And then I'd flick through. Cause now I have like a thousand cards and I'm, I'm just flicking through being like, have it, have it, have it, have it. This is fucking bullshit. But I sign up for it every single day. That said, I don't really want to recommend that one. Cause like, I don't really, I don't know something about it. Just doesn't really feel like a good recommendation. Cause I don't think it would be for everybody.

[01:19:18] That said, I cannot believe how insane Claire obscure expedition 33 is. It's so good. If you are a fan of, I'm going to, I'm going to, I'm going to throw out some boxes here. And if this checks any one of those boxes, you need to run and play this game. You need to sprint to your console computer monkey or whatever. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You need to sprint like a, a,

[01:19:47] a thrust forward. So panting once you get to your X, so this game, do you like timed hits in your RPGs? Do you like a fucking world map? Like an old school world map. Oh yeah. Give me that shit right at the bottom corner of the screen.

[01:20:11] Do you like a very dark fucked up story that has amazing character building? Yes. This game grabs you by the fucking balls. The set, like within 15 minutes, it's got your attention. Probably not even that. Holy shit. Like, yeah. Within 15 minutes. And like, dude, the thing about this too, is it has that classic RPG feel to it.

[01:20:39] Like it does the thing where like within five minutes, it's like, Oh, we're going to show you a battle. Like right off the hop. It's like, Oh sweet. I get to experience a battle like real quick. And then it just thrusts you into this chaos. And like, I had my eye on this game for a while. Like when this got announced, I was like, Oh shit, this looks fucking crazy. Cause we don't get a lot of turn based games,

[01:21:10] right? Like they're not, they're not as common as like an action RPG these days. Like, yeah, you get your, your, your personas and you get like dragon quest, dragon quest and stuff like that, which is great. And I, I, I love it. I love to see like these turn based games, but what's blowing my mind about this game is how God, damn good. It is like the combat is fantastic. It looks great. It plays well.

[01:21:38] It's well optimized and it's by a team of 30 fucking people. Really? 30 fucking people made this game. Shit. And it is way better than like, I mean, I, I, I liked metaphor. Re fantasia. I liked it. Not nearly as much as I like this game already within the first, like couple of hours. And it's already fraction, like a fraction of the play time too, from what I've read.

[01:22:08] Yeah. I think it's, it's like a 30 hour game. It's, it's kind of settling in there, like in that comforter, like the comfort zone for an RPG. Like it's not crazy long. Like it's not going to be like a 60, 70 hour game, which I think metaphor took me like over a hundred hours to finish, which was wild. And that's the thing. Like, I don't, I don't like, it's funny. I've been playing a lot of RPGs. Like I beat two Pokemon games this year so far, but again,

[01:22:37] they're that sweet spot. They're like 25 to 30 hours. That's perfect. I love that. I don't need RPGs to be fucking 90 to 200 hours. And this game's combat keeps you so engaged. There's so many layers to the combat. I mean, if you like those Mario and Luigi games, like it's got all that shit. It's got like, when you get attacked, you can either dodge out of the way. If you time it right, you can parry every single attack.

[01:23:06] And it takes some time to like actually get the parry down, right? For a lot of these enemies and bosses and shit. It's got the, it's got a gun mechanic where like you can just, it's turn-based or is it action? It's turn-based. Yeah. Oh. And then like, you can do like jump dodges and then counter. If you're like, if you jump and then hit the attack, like an attack button in the air while you're jumping, it's got so much engagement in the combat itself.

[01:23:34] I would recommend anybody that's just looking to get a really cool new story and get just sucked into like a new world that it's, it's a brand new IP. We're not, this isn't some like new game in a series of other games. I just, I cannot record like this right now will be my hardest fucking recommendation for this year so far.

[01:24:02] Like if I had to take away all of my other recommendations just for this one, this would be the one. Go play this. And it is fucking awesome. This game was not on my fucking radar at all until Jerry recommended it to other people recommended it to me. And I was like, okay, fucking fine. I'll play it. And then just like Friday night, I put it on per Jerry's immediate recommendation. And I was like, Oh, I was live texting him shit that happened. I was like, dude, like right.

[01:24:31] As soon as they get off, I'm not going to say anything, but don't spoil too much. Yeah. But I, I really love how the characters like, yeah, they play totally different from each other. Like the main dude, he's got like a sword and a gun and his moves are really sweet. His, the skills you can learn with him are really cool. And then there's the, I forget what the, the second person you get, the chick's name. She can get it by the way. Luna. Yeah. She's pretty hot. Or Loon. Loon. Yeah.

[01:25:00] And her like cool spells. And yeah, there's a shit ton of layers to the combat. You could just attack and dodge and be fine with that, but you can get crits on enemies and do an almost like topple kind of effect. Like in Xenoblade. I like how they have like each one of the characters, you haven't gotten a third character yet, right? No, not yet. So the third, each one of the characters have like their own kind of thing going on. Like the, the main dude, Gustav, he,

[01:25:31] his attacks can build a charge. Yeah. And then like the more this is charged up, the stronger attacks that use that charge are going to be. So you almost want to like layer different attacks to compliment. Cause like you'll fill gauges with certain attacks that will give perks to other ones. So like the, the second character that you get, she's more of like a magic user and like using one spell will add, like you use that a few times and you,

[01:26:00] you like add up these little orbs and then you consume those orbs to power up another attack more. The third character, Aaron, that I just got this morning while I was playing has stance changes. Oh, so like cool. Yeah. So she will attack like a normal attack. We'll put her in like defensive stance. And then there's like an offensive stance where it's like 50% more damage,

[01:26:29] but 50% more damage taken. And then there's like another tier where it's like 75% more damage or something like that. Like, um, and then after you use each one of those, uh, attacks, it will put her into that stance. Oh my God. So like you're, you're layering them on top of each other. Like I can't believe how good the combat is in this game. Like I really cannot get over how good it is. And the fucking skill trees let you kind of further tinker with how your,

[01:26:57] how well your party synergizes together. Like you can fine tune them to be like when, uh, cause I think what's her face? The second character, she can, uh, when she doesn't attack, she can light an enemy on fire. And then your main dude can do something with that. I forget, but yeah, that game is, is really fucking cool. 30 hours long. It's on game pass. Go check it. Yeah. Do it.

[01:27:29] Get us out of here. I want to go play more. That's, that's the show folks. Keith wants more, go ahead and plug your show. If you'd like, tell everybody all about yourself one final time. Uh, again, I host the main quest podcast. It is a retro gaming podcast. Can listen to it wherever you find your podcast. You might be able to find it, whatever you're listening to this on. Um, and if you want more stuff, you can follow me on the social medias. Um, I'm on all of that stuff. Um,

[01:27:59] you can find all of that at, uh, link tr. r.e. Forward slash main quest pod. Hell yeah. I'll put that all in the, uh, in the show notes and everything, or in the episode description, whatever you want to call it. And everybody, that is it. If you've, if you've listened to us thus far and you're all the way at this point, Hey, I love you. Thanks for hanging out. Check out super pod socket.com. Uh, sure to tune in next week where Jerry, he plays Claire obscure expedition 33 until they get to the 69th,

[01:28:29] uh, expedition at which point they chug sand. Sure. Yeah. Yeah. And, uh, Aaron is going to focus on one game for a week. One game. All clear. Obscure week. We'll see. I'll put Nubby's number factory on fucking hold. I'll uninstall everything. Yeah. When you were like, dude, I got so many things on the go right now. I don't know if I can get to clear obscure. Cause I got like Nubby's number fat. I was like, shut the fuck up. What the fuck are you talking about?

[01:28:59] Nubby's number factory over Claire. You edit your goddamn mind. I think I pretty much said that to you. Like you shut the fuck up. You shut the fuck up and go play this game right now. All right. Let's hear it. Oh man. All stairs. So that's it. That's the show. Uh, everybody say bye. Bye. Deuces. Bye.