[00:00:00] One of these days I'm gonna show up to an episode, hey Jerry did I ever tell you about my fake eye and then I like pop out my eye like, ah, that was real, I'm just kidding, I'm in enormous amounts of pain I was just gonna say like imagine if I like tried to commit to that bit just now and I was just like no no seriously and I just start like pulling my teeth out Tears rolling down your cheek, you're like, yeah Just pulling them out one by one That's the, like always sunny, Charlie's just like pulling them out with no fucking, they're not really pulling them, they're just kinda coming out
[00:00:31] Gang's all here Hell yeah Yeah, yeah, yeah Speaking of teeth, let's do this thing, let's chomp right on through Bite it What it do everybody, my name's Aaron, I can play a perfect cover of Raining Blood on the recorder And I'm Jerry and I don't think you should eat a Magikarp, but that doesn't mean you can't That's right, yeah, and you're listening to SuperPod Saga
[00:01:08] When the song goes here, and then it's just, then it's Raining Blood being played on, being played on a recorder Raining Blood Sorry, I was just Fucking insane That's right, that's right folks, this is Could you imagine if that's how like Tommy called the Dragonzord in Power Rangers Cause you know how he used to have that like synthesizer flute
[00:01:36] On his like dagger, you remember that? Yeah dude And he called the, imagine if Man we need, we just need to get a video of that And then Do an overdub With Raining Blood But I'll just do it That's the entire song But I'll do it With like I'll, I'll like Mix like A recorder sound But like a shitty like MIDI one Just being like Like Game Boy Color
[00:02:05] Yeah Yeah, that's what That's, that's We need, let's do that We need to do that That'd be really cool Yeah That'd be funny We should just start making Our whole video content Shouldn't even be video games It should just be us Overdubbing dumb shit We do Basically like Kung Pao Oh my god Could you imagine if we Overdubbed a whole movie And put it up on YouTube Holy fuck We might have to like Chop that up into segments Like do Bit by bit by bit
[00:02:34] I bet he stays the same though His shit is just solid gold Nah Kill him No, I mean like We do our own thing I know I'm just joking Yeah That'd be cool Look forward to that listeners Hey, it's Super Pod Saga In case you didn't know Yeah, we're planning All sorts of shit That's gonna be great But yeah This is This is Super Pod Saga It's the greatest collaboration Of all time In case you didn't know For any first time listeners Jerry and I Are on an epic saga
[00:03:02] To discuss every single Video game topic in existence Week by week This week We're discussing The practical uses For video game weapons We're going full stupid This episode Just full Full goof mode I mean Maybe one or two Might be serious But I'm planning on being Pretty fucking dumb Who are you kidding? Yeah Who are you kidding? Right now One or two Are gonna be serious They're all Gonna be wackadoo God almighty
[00:03:32] But first First listeners Yeah, go check out Super Pod Saga.com Our Patreon's there Two, four dollars a month Leave us a tip Ready to review the show Whatever app you listen to it on Check out the rest of our episodes Socials And Super Ghost Go listen to Super Ghost Radio Please Please Do that And That's it Check us out Yeah, that's it For now Let's just Is there any super important Breaking news You wanted to throw At the listeners There was a little thing That happened this You know Past week
[00:04:03] The Switch 2 Got it's release date June 5th So My suggestion To all of those Out there That want this thing You better start Saving your money Or you better start Selling things You best Best get to collecting cash Somehow If people owe you money Now's the time to get it Go Go break some legs Because that Switch 2 Is going to be A Expensive thing Not I mean It's not
[00:04:33] Let's Let's not forget how expensive The PS5 Pro is Yeah Let's not forget about that Uh But it is expensive And people are The internet is not pleased Yeah With the price tag And the Following price tags Of the video games They've announced Well the one video game It was just Mario Kart World That's 80 The rest are going to be like 70 and below From what I've seen Like uh The The Street Fighter 6 bundle It comes with uh
[00:05:02] Of course the base game And the uh Season 1 and 2 DLC bundles And it's 60 bucks Which That's pretty fair The game and DLC For 60 bucks Just to put this into context As of right now 80 USD Over here in Canada Is A hundred and thirteen dollars Oh my god Why did they do that to you guys? What's I don't know Are you guys alright over there? Uh We're good
[00:05:32] Are you okay? No Um Dude once those fucking tariffs Finally kick in I think they said in May 2nd They're gonna kick in That switch is gonna be Way more Oh The other Interesting thing Is that You guys They're Putting a pause On pre-orders For the US Yeah Until Until I forget April 9th No Maybe Don't the pre-orders
[00:06:01] I don't know I put my name I went on to The I logged into my Nintendo account And I Selected the bundle And was like I'm interested in this And I've been patiently Waiting for You're supposed to say In the symphony of night voice I'm interested in this Sorry go ahead Um Yeah $113 Now You know Damn I was thinking about this When all this commotion Was happening With these The pricing
[00:06:30] I remember paying In 1997 Or 98 98 Yeah 98 100 bucks For Diddy Kong Racing Just the game Just The game Diddy Kong Racing Was like 100 bucks So like 100 Canadian dollars In 1998 That Is
[00:07:00] That is $177 Today Is what I would have paid For Diddy Kong Racing So yeah Let's Let's all just Chill the fuck out About these prices For a second I'm I'm glad That Yeah I'm glad You agree On that whole thing I People keep saying Like Oh Nintendo's greedy And like They just Oh They just want money They're finally Catching up to The competition In terms of hardware
[00:07:29] Now they're jacking up Their prices Like Yeah I'm sure They've been Working on Mario Kart World For a really Really Really long Time Seeing how Fucking Mario Kart 8 Came out Like 10 years ago On the Wii U Yeah And then Mario Kart 8 Deluxe That came out Like Two months After the Switch One launch So they've Been working On this Fucker For probably A long Time And pumped A lot Of money Into it And they Just want To make Money back On it Man Like It sucks I hate Seeing all The negativity About this Shit
[00:07:59] But I mean People have A right To be Man I suppose Like It is A lot Of money For one Game I get It is Yeah I I did Make the Decision Because at First I was Like Do I Get this On launch So I Consulted With my Wife I'm Like Hey Switch Two Is Coming out On June 5th And she's Like Oh yeah And I'm Like It's It's Expensive And she's Like Well then I guess You're not Getting it And I was Like You don't Understand You don't
[00:08:29] Understand I've Had A Nintendo Launch console As long As I can Remember I've always Had The consoles At launch And I was Like I I Gotta Have It So I Was Like Alright How About This I Started Like Bargaining With my Wife I'm Like Okay How About Birthday Christmas Wrapped Into One There You Go And she's Like Okay So you Get it For Christmas I Was Like Bitch Don't Play This Game Like
[00:08:59] Do Not Toy With My Emotions You Did One Of These Are Like Bitch So Then I'm Like Running Things In My Head And I'm If I Really Want To Do It I Could Push Out The Backlog That I Have Left On My Quest Three Get All Those Done Sell That Fucker Use That To Fund The Switch Two It's Going To Be I'm Going To Get More Use Of Switch Two Probably
[00:09:29] Actually No That's Indefinite Because See The Problem Was I Was Like Maybe I Wait Till Launch You Know Like I Can Get Some Of These Games Still On Switch One Like Metroid And Then I Watched A Video Of The Comparison Of Metroid For Metroid Prime Four Running On Switch One And Then Side By Side Running On Switch Two And I Went Oh I'm Not Waiting I Am Not Waiting That Game Looks Insane On Switch Two Like There Is There Is
[00:09:59] Details In That Like Trailer Where They Show That Game That Are Just Straight Up Not In The Switch One Version Like When You're Looking Off In The Distance And You See Like Mountains And All These Guns Firing Off And Shit You Don't See None Of That In The Switch One Like It's Just Like Fog That It Looks Good On Switch One Don't Don't Get Me Wrong It Does Look Good And It Appears Like It Is Running At 60 Like It It Looks Like It It Looks Fun But
[00:10:28] Dude It Looks Insane On Switch Two Insane Yeah So I Was Like Well I Guess I Gotta Have It I Won't Be Buying The Fucking Camera Nothing None Of That Bullshit But Switch To Yeah I'll Get That I'll Get That Bundle With That Mario Kart Don't You Worry I Think I Am Too Cause That Oh Dude It
[00:11:08] If You're Freaking Out About The Price Of Mario Kart World And You Want To Get A Switch To Just Get The Bundle Like I Don't See The Price Being An Issue Just Get Bundle Yeah But I've Been I've Been Looking at All The Costumes And Shit On Mario Kart World Cause They Have Different Costumes Based On Different Countries And Shit Like That They Look So Fucking Cool Dude I Want This Game So Bad Yeah Nice Yeah It Should Be
[00:11:58] Completely Locked In At 60 FPS On Street Fighter 6 60 FPS The Whole Time The Whole Fucking Match They Were Playing And It's Just There's So Many Small Details That You Can See On Switch 2 That You Don't On PS4 And It Just Looks So Good Runs Smooth As Butter It's I'm Excited For This Fucking I Don't Care What People Say They Can Egg My House If They Want But I'm Buying Switch 2 Yeah I'm Excited About It Too And I Had A Steam Deck
[00:12:27] And I Did Enjoy That But That Doesn't Have Those Juicy First Party Nintendo Because That's The Thing At The End Of The Day When People Get Upset About This Price And It's Like You Don't Have To Buy It Like Are You Even A Nintendo Fan Like Do You I Gotta Have These First Party Games I'm All In On Pokemon Now So Now I'm Starting To Get More Excited On Z
[00:12:57] A Metroid Is Like I I Have To Have That Same Thing With Mario Kart I've Always Had All I've Always Owned All The Mario Karts Always And What New Mario 3
[00:13:47] Mario 3 World 2 Hmm You Know Or Like Super Mario World 3 That Would Be Insane And It Would Be Like An Open World Mario Game In The Mushroom Kingdom Can Imagine How Fuck That Would Be They Can Make It
[00:15:57] It It It It It Damn Good Game From What I What I've Played So Far It's I'm Definitely Going To Keep Playing It Hell Yeah The My My load Out My Primary Secondary One Is A Big Old Two Handed Sword That Does Fire And Ice Damage Big Old Two Handy Sword Going Ape Nuts On People Secondary One Is A Dagger That Like When You Do A Full Three Hit Combo It Does Poison And Fire Damage In A Big Area Except To The Third Hit You Just Have This
[00:16:27] Big Old Poison And Fire Explosion And It's Great Shit And Then In My Other Hand Is A Tome And I'll Just Put On Fire Armor And Just Be Unkillable Um But Yeah The The Exploring In That Game I Think I Love It A Lot More Than I Do The Exploration And Breath Of The Wild And Tears Of The Kingdom Because There's No Stamina Wheel When You're Exploring The Stamina Only Has
[00:17:11] Yeah I've Been Really Enjoying The Loop For The Game Of Just Kind Of I Just I'm Not Very Far I Just Did The I Killed That Bear That Was Had Like The Dream Scourge Or Whatever Yeah So I Did That And Now I Don't Know The Fish Dude Wants To Talk To Me Fish Man The Fish Man The He's Pretty Cool The Companion Stuff
[00:17:41] Is Really Good Yeah Like Kai Is Still Probably My Favorite That Dude That's The Guy Kai My Man My Fish Guild Dude Fish Boy Once You Once You Start Learning More About His Story And Like Why He Does What He Does And All This Shit Like His I
[00:18:41] shot like a I don't know it's some sort of like sniper shot and it fucks enemies up and usually it'll stun them and then I go in for the kill one like teeny tiny complaint I have with the game is that the glory kills are always the fucking same thing I wish there was more grinding with that but I mean it's whatever I'll take it though still cool
[00:19:24] yeah that's it that's all there is for news yeah speaking of cool though hey yeah today we're talking about practical uses for video game weapons so I jotted down a bunch of different scenarios that might require a weapon whether it's a gun or if you want like a sword even a stick I don't give a shit just a bunch of scenarios we're gonna describe them a little bit instead of just saying hey home invasion bam go we're gonna describe it just a little bit just add a little bit of flavor and
[00:19:53] goofiness to it and then yeah you pick any video game weapon and describe it as stupidly as you want you know what I'm dying to get into this so let me give you Aaron the first scenario do it so you and the missus are out on a date night okay you guys got a sitter you just went and seen some dog shit marvel movie
[00:20:21] and now you're on your way home but hey what's this looks like there's a light on in the kitchen pretty sure you turn that off it sounds like you guys are getting your home invaded no and when you go in there you open the door and who do you see mario lopez just rummaging through your cabinets looking for some bushes baked beans it's all he wants but yeah because you know jokes on him I ate them all
[00:20:51] he hasn't been he hasn't been in anything substantial for a bit he's struggling you know people have been seeing him doing the fenty fold here and there and now he's just looking for some bushes baked beans so here you are standing you need to defend your wife Aaron from you know feral mario lopez feral mario lopez what do you do which which video game weapon
[00:21:21] are you gonna use in this situation to put the to put mario lopez the fuck down dude I'm immediately thinking double needlers double what needlers from halo I don't think that's necessary bullshit it's not have you seen mario lopez he's fucking ripped that's so overkill so so yeah
[00:21:51] I come into the kitchen he's eating all my beans be like hey mario mario lopez is munching on your beans he's just he's on the counter like hunched over like like a like fucking um like a gremlin yeah like a gremlin he's just like oh here's like scoop slosh slosh and like all of a sudden I'm like hey mario and I reach for my my double holstered needlers that I totally have that you just yeah you just have those at the ready just in case
[00:22:20] like when you guys were leaving to go out to see this dog shit marvel movie you were like oh shit hang on I forgot something you're doing the pat down you're like you're like okay phone wallet ah needlers forgot my double double needlers on the bed thanks on me dude yeah so I pull him I'm like hey mario and I pull him out so they fuck you and then and then he's all these needles flying everywhere my kitchen's destroyed but mario lopez is fucking toast dude he's dead all right hella dead
[00:22:50] and then the halo announcer goes double killed even though I only killed one person in the lead oh before we get too into this I this is something I need to tell you about have you seen the movie Y2K no but I know that Fred Durst is in it yeah okay that's why I need to tell you about it he shows up did you watch it yeah we watched it last night because we were like is it good it's stupid and funny but it's worth watching
[00:23:19] like there's this one character I forget his name but he's in Fred Durst no not Fred Durst it's another character he was like some long haired kid in Stranger Things West Borland no Borland is in the movie too but he is yeah dude but so one character is like they're escaping this garage because these robot monsters are trying to attack them and he's like he's got roller skates on and he apparently loves to roller skate and he sees this
[00:23:49] like basketball hoop playing down he's like oh shit then all of a sudden it's like it starts playing that one Limp Bizkit song it's just one of those days and he goes to try to grind that basketball hoop and he fucking trips and cracks his head open and dies and then Fred Durst becomes the president at the end because he saved humanity I need to watch this I need to watch this fucking movie it's stupid but it's funny you know what I should I should get baked later and fucking watch this movie alright give me give me a give me a scenario
[00:24:19] Aaron let me let me try my hand at this let me take out home invasion real fast Mario Lopez home invasion super Mario Lopez home invasion feral Mario world super Mario home invasion it's a me Mario Lopez okay alright Jerry so so you got
[00:24:49] drafted for the war right you're like ugh I miss my wife and my kids I just want to go home and then you're up in the chopper you know it's playing Barron it's playing unfortunate sun by CCR and then they're like alright man let's go go go and then you jump from the chopper you hit the ground you see terrorists you're ready to take out these fucking terrorists for the for the sake of whoever Canada or yeah yeah I didn't think about that part
[00:25:19] but yeah yeah you're in the Canada military you're going for your guns to or whatever the fuck you have to destroy these terrorists stop them from committing their evil uh uh holy deeds or whatever the fuck what what are you reaching for what do you have what are you armed with so this is this may be a controversial pick here but I'm gonna say it anyways because I think it is a weapon I don't have a weapon on me per se nothing like a physical weapon
[00:25:48] all I'm gonna do is I'm gonna get up kind of close not too close close enough to these terrorists and I'm gonna open my mouth and I'm just gonna start sucking like Kirby like Kirby I'm just gonna suck them all up and then spit them at each other like as a little stars or whatever just pew yeah yeah just you know unhinge my jaw suck up a couple terrorists fire them back terrorists
[00:26:17] and it's yeah and then maybe you know one of the terrorists has like a really cool knife or something I like suck him up and then just like crouch down for a second and then all of a sudden it's like and I get like terrorist knives for hands you're gonna fucking dynamite vest and then yeah I just start doing copy abilities on terrorists yeah I don't think I would be stoppable I would be
[00:26:46] unstoppable yeah in fact yeah there'd be no way I could I could press a whatever I don't know might like just push on one of my nips and just be like and it like creates like the co-op guy oh and then it's it's like a co-op terrorist it's just like you but green and he's a terrorist yeah he's just all like what is my purpose like come with me
[00:27:22] it's just there there's men laying on the ground they're like help me brother they've got like legs blown off by grenades and like landmines and shit and just like suck them up poyo poyo or whatever the fuck you're eating a hot dog you fell on the ground to recover health it's just covered in sand yep that's good that's how I that's how I will defend my country that's right that's right sucking up terrorists sucking off
[00:27:51] I mean up those terrorists could you imagine that scenario that would be that I like I would I would pussy out so fast in a war I'm not cut out for that shit I would just immediately like get down it would be like the ending of Mandy when the guy is just like on his knees and he's like I'll suck your dick man just let me go I'd be fucking slobbing on them knobs
[00:28:21] just to get out of that fucking situation slobbing on them if need be I'll be a knob slobberer if need be if need I don't take requests oh that was good to protect my family I definitely didn't expect the curb Jerry where are you going I'm protecting my family tonight I told you
[00:28:52] imagine this in like the case of a home invasion with Mario Lopez you're like and then you suck up Mario Lopez and you're fucking oh my god press down on that press down to slobber on that knob oh man that hurt holy shit all right so here we go here's another here's another scenario for you okay yep try to weasel your way out of this one okay so you come home
[00:29:23] after seeing a dog shit Marvel movie you went by yourself because now your wife is pissed that you've brought her to so many of these dog shit Marvel movies yeah and you know she's still a little bit shooken up by the super Mario Lopez incident and she was like fuck this I'm staying home so you go see your dog shit Marvel movie you come back there's light on in the kitchen oh no PTSD
[00:29:52] is kicking in is this Mario Lopez return again no there's no way he's he was reduced to ash the last time there's no way it could be him but you go in and you hear a familiar sound it's the sound of a creaking bed shit and it's it's moving in a way that you're like hmm hmm that sort of sounds like when I fuck my wife but it sounds like they're doing a better job I better investigate
[00:30:23] learn so you bust in the door and Aaron you're not gonna believe this you're not gonna believe is it Mario Lopez no it is not Mario Lopez it is Mario Mario this one half of the Super Mario Brothers is just railing your wife I mean going to like his he took two of those blue mushrooms
[00:30:54] and they weren't the ones that make you smile you know what I'm saying they're the ones that make you big but in in a different way so Mario is in bed with your wife Super Mario not Lopez Super Mario is in bed with your wife dick rigid and you have to deal with this right now now caveat on the dresser
[00:31:24] there's a fire flower there's a tanuki suit he's ready dude like he he could take that tanuki suit throw that on real quick and go like tanuki stone and you ain't gonna do shit so think about this carefully what do you do hmm I'll tell you what I do I kill the wife and I just go Mario I've been dreaming of meeting
[00:31:54] you one day I just didn't think it would be under these circumstances and then you make out and fuck oh there's so many good options but I think what I would do yeah I think what I would do is I would pull out of my pocket again I have something holstered I have the hammer of dawn from gears of war and
[00:32:27] to focus on whatever you're aiming at so I would slowly but surely aim it over at super mario mario lopez and my wife too I mean I get fuck it no this is not super mario lopez it's mario mario it's just mario mario it's just mario mario okay well I am mario mario mario lopez is dead dude we've already established that you reduced him to dust why is his last name Mario like mario mario it's
[00:32:57] luigi mario mario mario this is canon I don't understand but that so hammer of dawn right this guy is getting fucking destroyed I go hey look over there and then I grab my wife away and then hammer of dawn bam like this big old orbital fucking strike just annihilates this one entire section of and then yeah he's done like that entire part of my house is gone and like
[00:33:26] maybe a good section of our neighborhood but at least mario mario lopez lopez lopez lopez lopez is done for good yeah it's just regular mario the red capped mario oh fuck i killed the wrong one shit yeah there's many more out for my blood how many marios can er take out i'm like the simon belmont of mario's all right lay one on me all right jerry
[00:33:56] so uh let's say that uh let's say that a man disrespects you you know you're at work you're going for like a cup of coffee and then they take all the coffee and you're like you're like dude what the fuck for no yeah what the fuck and he's like hey man fuck you and then he does like a moonwalk flipping you off the entire time uh you approach him at his desk and you're like hey man you disrespected me i i
[00:34:25] demand your respect i challenge you to a showdown so you you're like noon today that's two hours on the rooftop yep rooftop so you have a wild west showdown with this guy on the rooftop of the of your work building you're ready to go what are you what are you going for when they say draw what are you what are you whipping out so i've already i knew that this was going to happen in this scenario i knew that one day i would need to
[00:34:55] kill this man let's call him kevin so kevin has to die and actually no you know what let's let's use the proper uh super pod branding here it's his name is michael so my michael i i've already seen this coming a mile away so i preemptively put something outside of the building when i get up
[00:35:24] to the top michael's like all right i'm ready you know he's got his weapon it doesn't matter what it is you could tell me he's got a machete in his teeth and he's got two revolvers and maybe like i don't know a bandolier of fucking bananas it doesn't matter and they blow up or something doesn't matter because i have the portal gun and what i did was god i put a portal on the side of the building and
[00:35:54] now i shoot the below his feet portal and now michael is just catapulting out of the side of this building and uh yeah he's he's done that's done he's toast that would suck rip uh rip michael everybody rip michael really i don't know no michael's kind of an asshole yeah i took the last year coffee and rest and piss rest and purple piss michael throwback
[00:36:24] yeah that's a good one so you know there's there's gonna come a time aaron now that you've annihilated half of your house uh you've now killed two marios um um you know you're you're sitting at your kitchen nook just trying to live a normal life you're trying to explain to your kids why the half of your house is gone why mom is still fantasizing about
[00:36:55] mario and you know you're just trying to carry on it's hard but you're trying to care and then fucking out of nowhere liam neeson just busts through your door and you're like jesus christ like what is this now he's like we have to go and you are just out the door with liam huh what's the time frame between all these scenarios is it just like mere hours or like days or we're talking like 24 to 48 hours okay cool okay sorry go ahead so within 48 hours you've killed mario lopez you've killed super mario
[00:37:24] uh super mario's fucked your wife uh mario lopez has ate your beans and now liam neeson is busting through your door and he's like we have to go and now you're out in the woods and you're like dude what is the purpose of this and he's like you know he's like grabbing you by the arm and he's asking you you know those pictures that girls always like to take with like you know you're behind them and like holding their hand and shit he's like asking you to real quick just take one of those pictures just for his instagram and then you get into the deep woods
[00:37:54] and he's like we have a big problem we have to take care of this right now the problem is it's the problem is very tiny there's fucking feral pickman all over the place in the woods outside your house and they are nipping at liam neeson and he's not he doesn't care for it's not really hurting him he's just upset about it so these pickman are just nipping nipping pickman
[00:38:23] what are you gonna do about these pickman dude what are you gonna do bear in mind you can't do something drastic because they're climbing all over liam neeson do you protect liam neeson or do you annihilate this fool walk back to your breakfast duck and put your hands in your put your head in your hands what are you doing what are you doing in this scenario you know what jerry i gotta play it safe
[00:38:53] i'm gonna get some of tears i'm so sorry mr neeson or whatever and i'm just smearing him in this shit all the pickman gather onto him he's just covered in nectar and pickman and probably piss and tears and then from out of nowhere i pull i pull the fucking buster sword
[00:39:22] and uh i decapitate liam neeson therefore also killing the pickman no yeah no that's how it works damn dude i didn't i didn't i don't think you're gonna kill liam like that though i mean it was either me or him he would have done the same to me i don't know if it was necessary to dust liam neeson like that i feel like there could have been other ways man
[00:39:52] but anyways moving on yeah uh and then i go back to my breakfast snook and i'm like fuck i killed two marios and a lease or lease i killed two marios and a liam like what is my life it's like it's uh one of those like really sad scenes in breaking bad like instead it's just me like over a bowl of frosted flakes or something like it's just you going he can't keep getting away with this oh
[00:40:23] all right try me all right jerry so you're having you're having a hard time making ends meet financially for whatever reason uh you've been you've been you know your wife has been become horribly addicted to gambling playing craps she's gambled so much of your money and hers away by playing craps non-stop she's like i can't get enough craps gotta have my craps and you're
[00:40:53] like fuck i can't i cannot do this i need to support my family so you're like all right go rob a bank possibly a liquor store so so you get you pull some pantyhose over your face you put on some gloves you grab your favorite weapon we'll get to that in a little bit but uh or no yeah we'll get to that in a little we'll get to your weapon in a little bit but then yeah you roll up to the bank you uh you're about you stroll up into the bank you pull out your weapon and you're like everybody
[00:41:22] needs to leave now this is a stick up and you what weapon are you holding up in the air and like pointing at the the bank tellers what do you got you know i'm sure these tellers are like used to just the typical bank robber at this point coming in with a knife or a gun in like their pocket or like i don't know maybe some of them are so desensitized that they're just like oh hey look that guy in the parking lot is rolling up with an assault rifle so get ready to hit the
[00:41:52] buttons they see me though and they're like what the hell is that and like they can sort of hear music playing but they're like is he blasting music and it's kind of like and they're like what what the fuck is that noise and then i bust in and that fucking man the man you fear the most or whatever the fuck it's called from the doom soundtrack that's just blasting
[00:42:21] and i have a bfg and i am just holy shit i'm just putting icing on the cake for these people just just blasting my way and then yeah easy but i just i just dust the whole bank how do you how do you get the money though i don't i don't but the whole thing was about getting money what are you gonna do what's your family gonna do like sure you you annihilated like 20 to 50 people but
[00:42:51] you know i i don't i don't know what i was thinking i've maybe no no aaron you're wrong the the the vault would still be there how do you unlock it though because you you killed the you you fucking destroyed those bank tellers like they're just piles of sludge up and up to this point oh i forgot to tell you doom guy's with me oh okay yeah doom
[00:43:21] guy he's there i'm just like hey can you do that thing we should do that real quick doom guy and he just rips and tears and then he hands me some money and goes was this all really necessary and i'm like i don't think probably could have just asked you to do the other thing before we blasted everybody with the bfg but at least there's no witnesses it was just really cool that i got to pop into
[00:43:51] this place and that song was playing and you know you were waiting in the car you were waiting on the corolla doom guy just sitting in a corolla waiting for his cue just has like his arm like on the side of like the window he's got the window down cigarette it's not even a new corolla it's like a like a 94 corolla yeah that's good though yeah no
[00:44:21] witnesses um you probably took out the cameras and like the the hard drives that stores all the camera footage so yeah all this to say uh we have a we have a special guest here with us today uh doom guy why didn't you come on out i think he's probably still waiting in the car that's all right he'll leave it warm he'll leave that seat warm nice and toasty for you he's got
[00:44:51] a hoagie waiting for you he's like hey bud hop in let's take a how much money would i have gotten from this whole interaction it depends on the bank but um we'll say like ten thousand dollars oh that's not good i did a lot of bad stuff for ten thousand dollars ten thousand is ten thousand that switch two is really expensive though so i mean i'll take it you gotta buy switch two for uh for doom guy as well he wants to
[00:45:20] it's all about that bonanza banana nansa all right here's your next one okay so picture if you will it's a sunday morning the lights just starting to shine through the windows you're sitting at the breakfast nook you're still trying to collect your thoughts over the last 48 hours a lot has happened you get wind there's gonna be a funeral today the rest of the mario brothers are gonna be there oh no wario and waluigi
[00:45:50] they're coming to pay their condolences to their fallen comrade super mario and you're like vengeance will be mine i will take out the rest of the mario i will take out luigi who is the other mario brother in the bloodline he's george lopez i'll also take out the two waluigi waluigi and wario whatever their last names are who cares they're gonna be at the funeral yoshi's at
[00:46:20] the funeral but you know you just can't stop thinking they don't know they don't know what mario's taken from me lopez and mario mario they've both taken so much from me you've had to kill liam neeson out in the woods to save the world it all has to it all has to come down to this so you're gonna do a drive-by you're gonna take a you're gonna you're gonna do a drive-by super mario
[00:46:49] funeral it's like it's a super mario theme song but it's really toned down and sad it's it's just an instead of it being in a in a major chord it's in a minor chord oh so you're doing a drive-by at mario's funeral you gotta you gotta ice the rest of them what are you using
[00:47:20] you know what i'm gonna play it safe and my weapon of choice that i would so before so i'd be i'd be reading about this in the paper i assume and i'd be like like this cannot happen like their bloodline needs to be eradicated so i would i would go to my um do you kiss your wife and kids before you leave though to do this no she left me two days ago she uh she she only loves marios now she's she's found another mario did she break up with you at the breakfast
[00:47:50] she was like listen aaron you're not a mario you never will be before you pour that milk on your cornflakes i have something to tell you listen up bitch it's frosted mini wheats but go ahead speak your peace but yeah so so i go up to my uh to my to my walk-in closet in my bedroom and i give like the wall a smack and then out pops a little keypad i go i go six nine six nine and then all of a sudden you this like door in the back opens and it's my it's my like weapon uh arsenal yeah my
[00:48:20] arsenal and i pick the gun that i pick is the fat man from fallout oh god like i want it i don't want this whole entire bloodline to be eradicated i want it to be deleted just done gone forever so so i get in my uh i get in my car and i drive maybe like so i go near the funeral but not too near because it's the fat man we're talking about it's got like a fucking like 30
[00:48:49] mile radius or some shit to it so i go to like uh i'll go to like an old abandoned factory stand on top and then just launch it just launch that ship boom mario who that's right so there ends the the bloodline of the mario brothers you've taken everything from them revenge revenge is yours but just like
[00:49:18] dracula they'll come back i don't know though that that uh that fat boy fat boy slim that's that's gonna that's gonna put a dent it's gonna be a gonna be a dent just like this like the rest of my house so hang on i got i got one last one for you okay are we gonna do an ad break first yeah let's do an ad break okay
[00:49:49] okay we'll take an ad break we'll be right back hey jerry what's uh what do you currently listen to on your your daily commute what kind of tunes do you listen to on your way to the office where people steal your coffee and then you kill them on the roof uh usually anywhere between uh
[00:50:18] japan city pop uh some acid jazz or infinite annihilator it's usually one of the three i like all of that but i've got a i've got a brand new uh brand new heaping stack of sweet tunes to lighten up your your daily commute introducing the best of dracula flow volume 2 featuring uh hit lyrics like i'm on 12 vicodin smoking on scooby-doo dick we snortin that good buffalo
[00:50:47] soldier tamarind jordanian jibbies well i'd like to let you know that i just popped a whole garbanzo bean fuck you mean uh yes who could forget life-changing uh third eye opening lyrics such as we're smoking filtered crack you stupid piece of shit i'll fucking kill you the next time the next time you drive on down to the corner store or even if
[00:51:17] you're just at home and you want some easy listening in between uh in between tv shows or you're reading the newspaper uh you're gonna hear such uh such i don't know eye-opening i'll use that again eye-opening lyrics like i need more sequoia banshee boogers what about you jerry i i you know there's lyrics here that really resonate with me um one of
[00:51:47] which is you can't trust me i don't even trust myself i don't even know who i am anymore i'm getting too much money oh man i'll never forget the time where i was uh having a real hard day at work because all the marios that i just destroyed like my conscience is just crumbling into pieces because i've killed so many people and it hurts me so much but on the
[00:52:17] drive home you know i turn the radio on and i'm like ah i just leaned back i probably put you over the edge because you you just hear she sucked me like a cordless dyson v8 and then uh yeah then right after that welcome to the i welcome to the cream kingdom bitch open up black china i drink her piss out of another man's balls don't be shy girl i love me some pastrami mud flaps i'm moving like french montana
[00:52:46] ha yep you be smoking those qui-gon gin vietnamese philip heads runs after after a long hard day of killing marios nothing nothing really takes the edge off quite like my shooter a crackhead he look like woody harrelson hell yeah dude that pussy got me screaming crying pissing shit shooting ropes
[00:53:18] i hope them aliens are real so that i have more things to fuck the fucker looked like a resident evil five campaign extra after he was done with them yep smoking fentanyl a cereal milk i can see god oh my god i pushed the camel through the eye of a needle fuck this shit ain't nothing to me man yeah that danny phantom slime moving like oppenheimer
[00:53:52] i have seen the magna carna i've seen the eye of horus they thought they could stop a demon i'm back she dropped that ass on me from an from an gregarious angle they thought i was steven wallace oh what's another good one to uh another good two or three to end this on jerry i'm him i ban him i will continue to be him
[00:54:22] i balled so hard they thought i was a fucking nutsack yellow rubies glistening like piss this shit ain't nothing to me man that's right ain't nothing to me this shit ain't nothing to anybody if you order the best of dracula flow volume two jerry hit him with one more i got the midas touch fuck boy that's right order now
[00:55:09] we'll be back who who had the last one was it i did but i i have one i have one last one for you okay all right so you as you can imagine it's been a it's been a rough while it's been about a week since the mario mario mario lopez liam neeson and super mario funeral super mario funeral
[00:55:40] you're kind of you know reeling your your wife has left you a man walks in your door who could it be you're just sitting at your breakfast nook trying to mind your own business breakfast nook the man walks in you go oh god jesus christ i thought i killed liam neeson but no it's not him it is not liam neeson it's george w bush oh for some reason george has come to you and he's like
[00:56:09] boy i need you to come with me and he tells you we're assembling a team things have gotten out of hand you thought that you've killed all the marios oh no but there's one left there's the worst one of them all he explains to you there is a problem with marios they were coming here to kill you because they know the truth they know what you hold your latent powers that you've never
[00:56:39] never thought about actually accessing and he tells you straight up aaron you put you were the only one that possesses the power to finally kill east side mario he is a real person who makes mediocre italian food and claims that it is good also he's just really tired of hearing a hey bada boom bada bing he thinks it's a stupid catch phrase and he tells you aaron
[00:57:09] you are one of four who can stop this man we won't get into who the other four are is one of them hannah montana it sure isn't damn it she's already long dead damn it yep so you are tasked with assassinating east the east side mario what are you using so i'm gonna get him when he least expects it so
[00:57:39] by now i've done all the private investigator work i've uh i found where he lives and i'll like i'll learn all of his habits you know like oh he leaves the house at 11 a.m every day this day and that and all that so i've learned all his habits i found him when he's at his most vulnerable so i'll wait till he's flipping dough in the air
[00:58:09] so i'll catch him when he's about to go take a shower so i'll sneak into his house bonus points if you get him to say a butta boom butta bing right before the kill shot oh we'll get there we'll get there so so i yeah so i'm in his house i'm waiting for him to turn on that shower and right as soon as he gets all of his clothes off i kick open the door and i'm wheeling the fucking mega buster it's covering like my entire right hand i've got it charged up all the way baby i'm ready to go i'm like hey
[00:58:39] is it like the is it like the have you gone out of your way to get all the the upgrade parts and now you have like the super super charged one that does like the the pink the pink things the uh the hadouken kind of thing yeah yeah yeah i'm prepared for anything i got the extra armor and shit just in case i got was it air dash yeah yeah yeah i'm ready for anything man so this shit ain't nothing to me man so so he turns around and and you know i've got this thing
[00:59:09] charged up ready to go i'm like hey if you say bada bing bada boom right now i promise not to kill you but i'll take you into custody so he says bada bing bada boom i get my bonus points for that hey bada bing bada hey bada big bada boom boom said yeah done dusted
[00:59:39] rested piss goodbye east side mario esm you piece of shit and it's at that point that i realize all the all the my misdeeds to fuck all my misdeeds to humanity and i turn my life around by uh by discovering god who i go kill and then i become god or something i don't know i am become god very nice very good uh anime
[01:00:08] story arc there hell yeah it all came to a close beautifully just like uh it all ends with the sun setting on the breakfast nook and then it's like the ending of uh of evangelion where it's like congratulations erin and i'm like my hands are like my head is in my lap i'm like like like just screaming congratulations erin congratulations
[01:00:39] my wife is there getting railed by mario like congratulations sweet all right lay one more on me all right jerry so because you killed that man on the roof of your work and you annihilated that entire bank of people law enforcement is caught up to you they've imprisoned you you're in prison and you're like okay maybe i maybe i do deserve this i killed like combined like 150 people
[01:01:08] i i deserve this uh but then then one day you're like wait maybe i don't maybe i maybe i should just break out of here you're you you meet a man in prison he's like you didn't deserve any of this you need to break out of prison and make amends because he's got a real gravelly like italian voice but uh yeah so so you decide to break out of prison and the way you do it is uh guard comes to your cell and you snake his weapon what weapon does he have holstered that you then
[01:01:38] use to kill the guard and snake his keys and break out of prison it's not what you would think it's a it's a charizard ex card oh fuck i just whip one of those out and go huh got your charizard ex he has a heart attack and dies i bet this was pretty pricey huh because see the thing is aaron sometimes you don't think not everything has to be a legitimate weapon to be considered a weapon you take someone's livelihood like that you take their charizard ex
[01:02:07] you might as well have drawn a weapon on him your physical like worth how much are those worth let's play the game real quick time to play the game all right aaron hands up what do you think a charizard ex goes for on the internet the internet um
[01:02:38] i want to say 55 jerry incorrect 82 82 for for graded to 10 that's a 10 grade that's like a pristine 10 grade that's disgusting jerry 82 bucks ungraded is nine dollars and 50 cents grading is such a fucking scam so stupid anyways this guy this this guard though in particular has a graded 10 charizard
[01:03:07] is a little plaque it's worth 82 dollars i've taken it from him and i i tell him so help me god i'll smash this i will smash this into pieces and i will rip it up and then he just kind of casually lets me in the cell and says yeah you're you're free man can i have my charizard back i'm like here you go dude i just gave him his charizard back and i just kind of like walk slowly because nobody's really too affected by anything that's happening and this guy is
[01:03:37] like he's he's good he's good he gave me back my charizard and i just kind of walk out oh but wait there's more oh so you're so you're about to walk out you get to like the courtyard right and then all of a sudden the alarms go off and uh turns out you stole some silverware from the cafeteria on the way out you stole like a knife a fork a spork a spoon all that shit so you've got all these like red dots all over you from like sniper rifles and shit they're ready to fucking go i said
[01:04:06] think about where you would get the gun whenever you see a guard and you hold them as like like a meat shield and you grab his gun what does he have holstered that you take and annihilate all these snipers with or something that guy unfortunately for him is kind of just holding a regular pistol so i take the regular pistol i put it in this guy's head and i say don't move i'm gonna get us both out of here
[01:04:36] and i hug him real tight and i turn into the morph ball oh shit but i don't realize that this guy doesn't have the capability to go into a morph ball so it just crushes all of his bones and turns him to mush so when i actually pop back out of the morph ball it's just a mess of blood and guts and i'm like oh fuck oh god all right oh man fuck sorry carl i didn't mean to you were a good dude
[01:05:06] and then i just morph ball my way out of there throw a couple bombs down bloop bloop and then over the wall because i don't have a double jump i don't have none of that shit you haven't found that one yet yeah so morph ball people people underestimate the power of a morph ball if you grab onto somebody and then go into that morph ball think about it into a lot of tight places with that jump power bomb yeah those power bombs will fuck shit up yeah man yeah
[01:05:46] yeah man yep i think that'll about do it yeah i think that uh that about covers a few scenarios you know we just uh we want folks to be ready you know if you know if anything we can help we can provide a couple of very realistic scenarios that should they happen you're you're ready to go with very realistic means of defending yourself very realistic yeah yep we don't joke about uh about protection you know it's gotta be that way
[01:06:15] but with all that said you know here we go it's the uh it's the saddest part of the episode as always but it's also the most generous aaron you know what it is random recommended games that's right it's time for random recommended games yeah the section of the show where we just give you games cool games games that we like maybe we don't like them whatever but uh
[01:06:44] the one random recommended game i have today is one that i beat many a year ago it was on games with gold on xbox yeah forever ago on the 360 discovered that i have the definitive edition for it on uh xbox one and series x and all that so i rediscovered my love for this game jerry it's sleeping dogs dude so funny that you should say that that's one of greg's
[01:07:14] top games of all time dude top like and i i was like what this game why is this so good and he's like just fucking buy it buy it and start playing it you'll see and i was like i don't like these kinds of games man he's like it's not it's not what you think it is and i was like it looks like gta like isn't that what this game is and he's like not at all it's not that at all and i i've i bought it i bought the definitive edition on steam
[01:07:44] and it's real fucking good tell tell tell me the things that you like so much about this if for one the the combat is super i mean the combat is basically just like the the batman arkham games and um kind of like the it's still good though shadow mordor yeah it's it's awesome like you have one button for counters one button that does grapples and there's lots of cool environmental shit that you can do like sort of middle of game you're in
[01:08:13] this like fishing like a fish where a fish processing center or some shit so there's lots of like tanks with eels and shit or like uh meat hooks and yeah you grab a dude throw him onto a meat hook he's fucking dead grab this dude drown him in this like eel tank and he gets shocked and he fucking dies and then i know that stuff's so good like when you when you do like the i guess they're kind of like glory kills right pretty much and then there's all sorts of cool moves you can learn there's a cool skill
[01:08:43] tree to level up that'll let you learn different things in combat outside of combat and there's all sorts of cool fucking cars that you unlock um that they're stored in your personal garage throughout your whole playthrough so again in gta if you have a car blow up you have to call your insurance people and all this stupid shit that's kind of not cool but in sleeping dogs yeah if your car explodes square back to your garage spawn another one and you're good and the story is really fucking cool too basically you're um
[01:09:12] oh what's his name way i forget his last name he's uh he's an undercover cop who oh yeah is investigating this gang i think it's the triad and as you go through the story your your actions will kind of tip more toward your your cop side or like the triad side like good and evil kind of and it'll it'll the things that you do will affect the story and it's not like the story is not very long either i think it's only like 25 hours is it really that short it's not that long
[01:09:41] i'm pretty sure 25 to maybe maybe 40 i think oh okay yeah that sounds a bit more like it like when you're in your car or vehicle there's a station for roadrunner records um and there's lots of really cool songs on there like oh yeah crusher from fear factories fucking on there the soundtrack was the thing that i was like whoa what the hell is this dude fucking so good dead to rights by devil driver they got fucking opeth machine head dream
[01:10:10] theater soul fly dude yeah so good yeah there's a lot of crazy stuff on there game's awesome it's yeah it's real good real good um so my pick i just threw this on with my buddy um i think i've heard of this the other the other night uh went over to his place we were playing some super meat boy uh forgot how insanely difficult that
[01:10:38] game is but then after because then we we both watched the uh the invincible season three finale together oh i have to watch that yeah dude shit when you watch that you're gonna need to come talk to me because have you have you are you caught up are you up to seven have you seen seven i haven't started season three at all you haven't even started it no holy no i've been too busy with uh with white lotus which by the way white lotus
[01:11:08] is my wife didn't really care for it but i thought it was good it's cool yeah it's that that show's amazing um yeah but yeah so we watched that and then we we were playing some meat boy and then we took a break watched some videos and shit just hung out and then he was like hey i got this other game that i wanted to throw on that i picked up i was like what is it have you heard of iron meat our boy nomad loves the soundtrack to this game yeah it's real good dude it's this game is like
[01:11:37] contra but like it i'm gonna say something crazy this game might be better than contra better than contra yeah it's so good and it's not a super long game it's like three hours long i think maybe five stars on steam damn dude it's unbelievably good great co-op multiplayer the levels are good the bosses are crazy it it has
[01:12:05] like a fairly decent um difficulty curve like it doesn't it's it's not like immediately like oh this is impossible like and it's pretty forgiving you start every level off with 16 lives at first we were like it's pretty generous like we're playing on normal and like we were crushing the first couple of levels but then like then it got crazy then i got real nuts we ended up making it to the very last level in one sitting um luckily it does save your
[01:12:34] progress like you can just go to a level select but yeah we didn't we get we didn't get a chance to beat it though because it was it was kind of late at that point and he was like man come on do you want to like just do this last level once more i was like i don't know man that was a slog like the last level is such a slog to get through and then you gotta fight the last boss but we were we're i feel like we were pretty close um and yeah the the soundtrack slaps so hard in this game like the second you fire this thing up and
[01:13:03] you're in the first level and it's like it sounds like fucking arch enemy is playing yes it's so good hell yeah yeah highly encourage anybody that's a fan of the contra games this is like mandatory you have to go play this game go play this game it's not a recommendation this is a this is an assignment it looks fucking like gruesome like there's lots of machines that have like organic meat on them it's the aesthetic of this game is exactly what you
[01:13:33] want it to be yes exactly what i'd expect from a name like iron meat yep it's good man go check it out goodman goodman and on that note that's it that's the show everybody that's
[01:14:03] literally everything we've ever done in our lives yep that's it well uh yeah i mean listeners again make sure to check out superpodsaga.com our patreon stuff is there check out all of our episodes socials check out super ghost radio give them a listen rate and review both of our shows yeah do it please and do it be sure to tune in next time when uh when uh jerry does a backflip standing completely still does a standing still backflip nails
[01:14:31] it and then uh people shower him with money because that was fucking sick yeah and next time aaron's gonna have part of his house rebuilt and a brand new extension on his breakfast nook exactly maybe one maybe maybe eventually i'll get that cool espresso machine i saw in the office but uh who knows tune in next time to find out if i do or not but uh tune in next time to dragon ball z no we're called superpodsaga shit my bad okay bye
